And for me to actually put that into words and state the obvious means that if you are within earshot, or generally a 100 foot radius, you should be rather wary of any movements I make. Like I've said before, when provoked, I'm like the antichrist but with a little less charm.
My day consisted of some disappointment, general hurt, betrayal, feeling not quite good enough (oh, and this wasn't imagined, this was something actually voiced!), sleep deprived, over worked, and generally shit upon.
So, what's a girl to do? Why, turn into a nasty-ass bitch, that's what. At one point, I almost started to cry. Then, it downright pissed me off that all this crap revolving around my job was making me feel that way; I resented it. Before I knew it I was in full Bitch Mode. Funny thing is, when I get to that stage, I barely speak. If I do, it's one-word answers spoken in a tone so low you have to strain to hear. If you push me, I will speak but you definitely won't like what you hear.
It was pretty much all I could do to not rip someone's head off. And then to have one of the culprits trying to be nice to you when all you really want to do is stab them in the fucking eye is just great. They know they hurt you and are trying to be nice. Nope. Not gonna work here, buddy. They are trying to redeem themselves (superficially) and bond with me while I'm getting more and more irritated, eventually calculating the best combo and dosages of cardiac meds that it would take to crush and mix with their beverage to have to call a code. Fucking bastards.
I said: look, I don't want to talk anymore. Not to you. Not now. I'm thinking: it would be a fine time to stop trying to joke around and acting like nothing is wrong. Something is very wrong and you are a part of it. Furthermore, do not patronize me. I'm on to you. You, who have knowingly hurt me, have no right to spend any more time in my head. But I'm sure you will. Because I can't discard you the way some people around here manage to discard others.
And, some fucking asshair cut in front of me and took the parking spot I was in the midst of pulling into. I thought, what the fuck, my car is 12 years old and a hell of a lot more solid than his... I should plow into him effectively shoving the back seat of his car up his ass. Saving grace? I didn't want to spill my frappucino or have to immediately shop for a new car. See, I still have some logic.
At this moment, I hate my job. I'm learning that people are so full of shit their breath smells. But I knew that. Let me tell you, if this new director doesn't get that place into shape, and soon, I'll be out of there. I mean, she can't stop people (even the ones in high places that I'm referring to) from being idiots and acting inbred but she damn well better try.
The people where I work blow dirty ass. Guess it's time to play hardball. Oh, I'll play alright. Best part is that they all think I'm so sweet, albeit a bit weird. They've got no fucking idea what goes on in my head. No idea what they are bringing out. I'd rather they don't, but if the gloves are off, I've got no ploblem then.
I'm ready to just get in my car with whatever I can pack and GO. Where? No idea. Maybe to where you are, hard to say.
Man I hate bad days at work.
9 comments:
Idiocy is a pandemic. The irony is that those who are immune end up suffering the most.
ugh... once upon a time when I worked for my mother it seemed that every day was like that!!
AND I had a blinding vomit inducing migraine most days on top of it
and for a good while I had hives on top of THAT!!
so I feel for you... if I could give you a hug I would... but I'd be afraid you'd snap my neck hehehe
move to NY - we'd have big fun together!! haaaa
Sorry, Livewire. Sounds like you're having an award-winner of a day.
Well, I kept being reminded of the Pirate Jenny song from...I think it's from Brecht's 3 Penny Opera.
Do you know the song?
Full of evil righteous fury. I used to hum it now and then at one of my more..challenging job situations (it is good, believe me, to work for yourself: no heads roll)
I hope it gets better, LiveWire (oh, and checked my odd email account and saw that tear jerking animal story. Sigh. True.)
Kyknoord - I'm convinced that in a more health conscious society people now sprinkle 'idiocy' on their breakfast cereal instead of sugar.
Kitty - Migraines AND hives?! You really know how to do it up right, don't you? ;) Lol.. no neck snapping, you're still safe. We would have fun together, wouldn't we?! How long til you think we'd make the six o'clock news??
Jason - It really was wretched, but, it's over. Not that today was terribly bright, but my urge to kill has calmed a bit.
Jarvenpa - I'm not sure I'm familiar with that song. Or I may be but just don't know it by name. Sounds like one I should listen to in those moments, though! I know that email was kind of difficult, but it really is true, isn't it?
IndeGrl - Yes, please feel free to join in the club. The more the merrier. Or is that 'miserabler'? ;) Personally, I think my enemy is not so much the Burgh but the stupid people I'm surrounded by. Just goes to show you that stupid people are everywhere! One day we'll get it right, we're too stubborn not to!
Like your family, you cannot choose your colleagues... and when they suck, makes it all the worse.
"I'm learning that people are so full of shit their breath smells" Had me rolling with laughter. :)
oh yeah migraines AND hives - not just any hives either... I was basically covered from head to toe for months on end - my lips swelled up like a platypus - I was basically unrecognizable for a pretty long time!!
anyway considering kittyville and the surrounding area is way too small for a tv station (other than maybe public access) goings on here rarely make the six o'clock news
our best hope would be to make the cover of the local rag - but if some kid scores an abnormally high number of points in a little league game he'd beat us out for the cover for sure.... what do you think we're part of the in crowd or something?! hehehe
I SO udnertsnad how U feel, witht he difference that I have neded up crying for a few minutes before actually cutting it down.
As for the silent mood: yep, the scary look to give people. the oen that says: "what the f... do u want now, after U made my day hell?!?!?"
ah well, hang in there girl. It will get better, beacuse u will make it (one way or another!)
Chitty - Even if we could choose them, it might actually be worse. Then we'd only have ourselves to blame when they are idiots. ;) I'm glad you got a laugh out of that line. But isn't it the truth? Some people are so full of idiocy that it leaks out.
Kitty - Oh geez, you had it bad. Platypuses (platypi?!) are adorable but I'm sure it's a look most humans don't really want to go for! So we'd be beat out by little league scores and bake sale totals? Damn.
Tigress - I know how you feel about the crying fits, too. I've been there, and the way it's going, most likely will be again. Yep, that's the look, alright!!! We'll rise above all of it, somehow, some way. =)
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