Lately, I've really wanted to start punching people in the face though. Being on Facebook, you see lots of things posted - signs and memes and such. I'm getting a little tired of being told certain things. Things like ~ cherish your friends and family, they will be the ones who will be there for you in the end. Or some such crap. Have these people MET my family? No, so they need to shut the fuck up.
My family is pushing me to the point of packing what I can and just leaving. They don't give two shits about what happens to me. Of course, they SAY they do. Occasionally. But their actions tell an entirely different tale. I'm running myself ragged with things THEY should be doing and they continue to be just fine with that despite my protestation. Of course they're fine with it... if you had someone you could take advantage of and have them do your job, wouldn't that be great?! Because they sure think it is.
They kind of have a big surprise coming, though. I truly hope neither my mother nor my aunt thinks that I'll be taking care of them in their later years. I've just spent all my patience and 'give a damn' taking care of THEIR mother while they stood idly by. Paybacks are a bitch. So is Karma. And it isn't like I'd intentionally snub them, it is simply that I'm worn out. I am now officially used up. Physically, emotionally, mentally, financially. There is nothing left. So I wonder what they will do when they need help and they come to me, as they always do, and I say, 'sorry, I have nothing left to give as I've been giving enough for four people yet I am just one' and quietly close the door. (Literally four people.)
So please, don't tell me that my family and friends will be there. The fuck they will. The moment things went beyond their comfort zone, I was left holding the responsibility and giving up my life. Fuck all that cozy bullshit because that simply isn't my reality.
I'm thisclose to literally just picking a place on the map and taking off. We've established that you can't outrun yourself, and that's ok, but I can outrun THEM. Maybe I could get 'me' back.
