Monkeys - in a long line...

Did you ever stumble upon something that, once you read it, it gives you some sort of clarity that you forgot existed? Well, I just experienced it. Not that it fixed my life, nor can it fix yours, but sometimes people have a way of communicating and it sheds new light on things.

Anyway, what I'm babbling about is something written by Matthew Good. For anyone that knows me well enough, I don't even have to state just what I think of this man. He's actually the reason I have a blog at all. Seriously. (Don't send him nasty-grams over that fact, please.) As with all blogs lately, I've slacked off and haven't kept up to date with his. After checking in today, it would appear that he is going through an emotionally tumultous time and in doing so, has shared some of his thoughts.

Now. I could sing (no pun intended) his praises at this point but I'll refrain. Visit MatthewGood.org and he will do that all by himself. But what I would like to do is copy his posts here. If you don't read, I won't be offended, I just think that it gives alot to consider, that's all. And if you want even more to think about, definitely go to the blog; it is far more than a music blog.


Wealth

When you are remembered, even if just among a handful of family or friends or acquaintances, let it be for your decency. Know that all of us have faults, and that while we have had it drilled into us that we must endeavor to overcome them, that they are an intrinsic part of who and what we are. To despise such a real and natural part of ourselves only produces prisons of denial, and thus cities, nations, and continents of inmates.

We might be strangers you and I, but at what point does that deter our shared emotional realities from being exchanged? We all feel the same things, and yet the thought of honestly and openly conveying our emotions is seen as personal treason.

I remember it like it was yesterday. She leaned into the mini-van in which the band was waiting to return to the hotel. She grabbed my hand, looked me in the eyes, and thanked me for saving her life.

She was a complete stranger.

I had no idea how to react. I sat there in stunned silence as she quietly cried and smiled at me, my one hand firmly held between her two. It seemed as though hours passed between us, her standing silently on the curb, me awkwardly sitting in the seat nearest the door, my feet swung onto the running board, my bag in my lap.

And then, just as suddenly as it had happened, she dropped my hand, stepped back, security closed the door, and the van sped away.

I never saw that woman again, but on that night I became the wealthiest man in the world. And were I to have never written another note, sang another syllable, penned another story, or known another day, I would no doubt still perish from this earth contented.

Wealth is not measured by the size of houses, the speed of cars, the price of handbags, the trendy eateries and lounges frequented by celebrities, or the purity of the drugs that those who consider themselves fashionable funnel up their noses. That sort of wealth can be attained by simply being born the son or daughter of financially wealthy parents, climbing dirty ladders, or marrying someone.

Our acts determine our true wealth.

When someone says that they love you, and you know that they mean it to their very core, that there is no doubt in any cell in your entire body that they are unconditionally sincere – then you are wealthy. There is no question that, for a time, financial wealth can secure the placebo of love, but it cannot create it. It cannot manufacture true love, just as it cannot ensure or secure happiness. To give ourselves to others openly and honestly, and to conduct ourselves with integrity and concern for the feelings of others, even if complete strangers, represents the sum total of our riches.

As I sit here looking out the window, lost in the haze of twilight, memories, and the talons of despair, I see a city filled only with poor people.

And I wonder how that happened.


After writing that, there was a flood of comments. His response?...


Comment by Matthew Good on August 5, 2006 2:21 pm
I want to sincerely thank each and every one of you for your thoughts and support. To have fans like you is beyond the wildest dreams of what people in my profession hope for and I am truly blessed that I have had such a long-term, supportive group of people with which to share my work, thoughts, and life.

The last six months have been fraught with severe anxiety and sadness (I was, in fact, admitted to hospital in Kingston for nervous exhaustion – which is the real reason why those shows got cancelled). I was powerless throughout that period of time, having to learn to live with one person’s almost adolescent indifference regarding something that I have always considered one of the most solemn and serious commitments in the world. I would have liked to have sought professional help, but that wasn’t something that was an option. And as the months progressed everything slowly slid further into a dark fog from which I have so far been unable to emerge.

It’s difficult to wake up in the morning and think beyond the confusion and tension that grips me on a daily basis. I know that it will one day subside, perhaps not entirely, but were I to impart any advice to you given my experience – make sure that love is real. Test it to its limits and ensure that it is not something that another views as easy to walk away from, as if little more than an uncomfortable handshake. There are those that would claim to love you and at the same time claim they need space – know that that is not a sign of true love, but only one person’s inability to simply be honest and straightforward, to admit that their understanding of love is limited towards you. True love lost, or the loss of love at all, is not something replaced within a year (let alone found anew in a matter of a few months with someone of, not ironically, financial wealth). And if someone that has claimed to love you can so easily abandon their feelings and look to secure greener pastures with little regard for the heart, then they were never to be trusted in the first place.

But most importantly, never forget that it is not your fault that it has happened, but rather their immaturity and selfishness that has ultimately been fully exposed.

I am not so jaded to think that people can’t endeavor to change, or to right those wrongs committed, but it is so rarely done these days that to expect it, or even hope for it, is usually time and energy wasted. But that should never deter us from wasting a little time now and then.

I wish nothing but happiness for all here, and even for those who will never come again.

Again, thank-you all for your kind words and support.


Something about what he wrote and the words he chose really made me think. I've got plenty to think of already lately but this may help put a different spin on things. Occasionally we need a new view because it is all too easy to get caught up in our usual patterns of thought.

If you've read this far, I hope that something in his words spoke to you in some way, whether to solidify what you already know or to give you more to think about.