The 'joy' of a welfare Christmas

It's kind of funny to think that after so much hard work you end up in a place that is no better than where you started. Or worse yet, a place that is actually brittle from lack of promise. Some would say that you have to make your own promise and hope. I'd like to hit those people. Hard. Although I still might do that, I'm contemplating a 4-5 day trip; mom might come along. Sometimes I think she offers because she doesn't trust what I'd do if left to my own devices. So, the purpose? I'm checking out new places, new cities. Again, some would say I'm running from as opposed to running to again. If I let myself think about it, I might draw the same conclusion. For the moment, though, I prefer not to think that hard. Update soon.

Hide the cutlery

The job is not mine.

Back to square one.

But I don't have the strength.

Will idiots ever stop breeding?

So I've been feeling all sorts of things lately knowing that even though it's not the end of the world, it still feels like shit. And then I read this. What in the hell is wrong with people? There are so many things wrong with this that I don't know where to begin.

I'm watching a friend's house for a couple days. Goof (her cat) says I must play with her NOW. I'll visit you all when I get back home.

What about a Do-Over?

Just got off the phone with the Director at the school and learned that my trouble student will in fact be returning. His reasons were lame, at best. So that triggered it. I told him that it just wasn't working for me. None of it. He was really surprised and tried to discuss it with me. I was maintaining composure and figured I shouldn't push it, so I told him we could talk later.

I hung up the phone, cried, and cursed the decisions I've made. When I realized I'd be making more decisions again soon, I cried even more.

I don't think I like today.

I thought I loved you; it was just how you looked in the light

Well. Remember the job I applied for? They want to interview me. Tomorrow. (And here I was so sure they filled the position as it had been removed from the job board...) I have so much to do between now and then. I'm truly not holding my breath, but I am excited over the idea that other options can surface. So back to Pittsburgh I go - for an interview. There's a part of me that is a little apprehensive in regard to how I'll feel when I go back there.

Some might consider me a little crazy. I might be one of them. =)

I'll update you, but until then, have a listen to two of my new favorites. They're really a little different, some sort of fusion going on. Check out the songs Chaos by Mute Math and Hang Me Up To Dry by Cold War Kids. Have a listen. You know you want to... Or just do it because I'm asking nicely.

Ok, off to find an interview outfit... What DO crazy people wear to interview these days?

I don't wait well.

Unless of course I've forgotten about whatever it is that I'm waiting on. In that instance a crummy memory is somewhat helpful.

For now I'm waiting for test results, waiting to see what happens with either job, and waiting for support and some sort of backing from my one boss. Perhaps I simply expect too much.

I applied for a job that would have been pretty cool I suppose but didn't hear anything. Not such a big deal really but I realized I was somewhat disappointed. I'm just not sure if that was because I didn't hear about the job or that it meant staying where I am now. Tough call.

So for now, I wait. And I'm just no good at it.