Anyway, most important of all. My snack-o-the-week is the following: pour crunchy granola in a bowl, cover with shredded coconut, add a significant volume of lowfat vanilla yogurt, drizzle with chocolate sauce and add a dash of cinnamon. I'd give up sex for this. Ha. Oh, wait... I think I have...
Just because I've had such a wonderful week or so, my little psycho man Benny decided to add to it all. You know I love my animals but he's got an aggression problem. He literally came jumping up at me and attacked my hand. I'm not taking a pic of my hand to show you but I AM putting in a link. Do not look at the second link if you get queasy with injuries. Cat bites are serious things. They can be worse than dog bites simply due to the shape of those pointy little teeth - they inject the bacteria in were it remains trapped. This is an example of what can manifest; scroll down and read the captions. I've had numerous cat (and dog...and rabbit) bites due to a previous career and I know what to watch for. Definitely infected but I'm hoping that my body will take care of it; if not, I'll get antibiotics.
He goes to the vet Monday for a recheck, vaccines, and a prescription for sedatives. Using me as a chew toy is bad enough, but if he gets someone else... No, he is not dead in that picture, but let me tell you, I could arrange for that.
My interview is Thursday. I'm putting together an interview outfit and getting nervous. Not because of the interview, that's not stressful to me, it's other things. I'm wondering if I'm a fool for thinking I can do this. Or if I even should do this. This would be a real city again. I'd be totally alone. I'd be crying every night over the homeless people that I'd no doubt pass daily (yes, I'm like that). And could I really leave my Gram here? That is probably the single biggest thing. I am feeling like I'd be abandoning her. To be honest, I think she feels that way, too. The words and phrases she uses all support that and it breaks my heart. Will it break my heart enough to make me stay? There's a good chance. It's not like I have an offer or anything, but even if this one wouldn't work out, I had not planned on just giving up; there would have been other positions that I'd apply for. Just thoughts... that's all.
So moving along, I work five days, go to the interview (3 hours each way) have one day off then run off to petsit for another five days or so. This means separation from blogdom for a while and I don't like that. Today I learned that an aunt of mine is not doing well, so I'd like to find time to get to visit her during this time. It might be the last time I see her. Or that time might have already come and gone; no one ever knows.
Is it wrong to want to catch a break? To maybe have someone here to help with all of these things? I still have to petsit from time to time, picking up my life here, so I can get money since I don't make enough with my unpredictable job. Choosing to work because I have to versus visiting a dying relative is a very unfair call to have to make. I'm trying to make something better for myself (as most of us are) and I feel like I keep tripping on my own feet. I'm not in a frenzy over it yet and hope to avoid it, but I'm just finding more questions when I look for answers. For now, that's ok - really. But eventually, that won't be enough and I just sense that time coming closer.
And by the way... blogger could use a couple more fonts, wouldn't you say? This one looks so nice now but translates terribly for the blog itself. Ah, maybe I'm just a sucker for a nice sans serif...
Just to show you... considering my dour mood lately.... here's proof...
It does happen...
~
And another thing. All of these pop-under ads are starting to really piss me the fuck off. Who in the hell thinks that an annoying little, unsolicited piece of shit like that is going to make me pay attention? Even if I desperately wanted what was being offered I'd pass on principle alone. I don't know, does this add a paltry amount to website or blog income or something? I have so little tolerance for that; I really, really do. Very well then, carry on...
16 comments:
...many folks (I've been using that word so much lately) don't really do the blog thing then, but that's ok... I still need to let a few thoughts creep out of my head.
And someone will be here to listen.
Hey I'll be "holding thumbs" for you on Thursday and hope it all goes swimmingly well. I know it's not my place to say this but don't let love of family hold you back, therein leads the path to resentment. A change is as good as a hollerday, dude.
I'm 100% with Luke here. Fear or apprehension is one thing, considering others before you consider your own well-being is a path you want to stop taking, m'dear, and I'm talking from experience. Making decisions, however stupid, for myself, has been the best thing I've ever done.
Howzit! (as we say in SA) Another weekend blogger here. (I think I may be addicted but that's another story.)
I have a few things to say here, not least of which is I knew there was a reason I prefer dogs to cats!
On the other stuff:
I agree with the others - I know how hard it is to leave family behind and make a decision for yourself but yes, in the long run I believe it benefits everyone concerned because if you give something up for someone else it can only foster resentment on your side, and guilt on their side.
And finally, it's Great to see you smiling!
We also have an attack-cat. Used to be cute when a tiny-kitten-blur of fur would attack your ankles. Not so much fun when it is a full-grown "killer of birds and rodents" who comes flying with claws out.
Still she normally gets most of her agression out on the dog and he doesn't seem to mind, unless she manages to bite his lip which he really does not approve of
Jason - Thank you for offering your ears, er, eyes? Intellect? You know what I mean =)
Luke - Thanks hon. And of course it's your place to say things... that's why they are called 'comments'... silly girl. You are right about the family thing, I've designated myself as caretaker and feel like I've backed myself into a very sticky corner. And oh, how I need a change. I'm still thinking I can wrangle you and Anne and we can all go together...
eKapa - Lol! Love your word choice ;) Thanks for the luck and hey, we nutcases have to stick together!
Anne - Then, quick... write a book for me on how to do it... think you can have a rough draft in a week? Or tell me of your experience; I really need help with that aspect. And a drink. I'd like a drink, too.
Terri - I'm going to compile a list of SA words. Top is 'snogs' cuz it makes me giggle. =) And trust me, this is an oddball cat... never met one like him (and never hope to again!) Resentment... yes, I feel that now. And if I go, I'd feel guilt then...lol. Argh! How do I fix this, damnit! I think you should ditch hubby and come with me, Luke, and Anne. Oh, and yeah, there's actual proof of a LW smile, although it looks more squished in the pic...hmpf.
Fence - So I have the designated one here and you for the other side of the pond. Lucky us. But I will say that Benny, puny foundling that he was, actually battled Feline Leukemia and won. I swear, I'm wondering if it did something to his brain...
I have never got to like cats :-) I find them so unreliable. As for the wound I strongly advise you to see a doctor & start antibiotics before things get nasty...
Well I guess your cat has an excuse then. Mine simply thinks she is a dog, a bad dog. Although she did recieve a bang on the head at a young age and has lost an eye. But she was ebil (quasi-evil) before that, so it isn't really an excuse, just a ploy to make you think she's kinda helpless.
As for beelzebabe's suggestion, well, if you did that to my cat you'd end up with so many purty scratches across your face :)
- I don’t bite. Does that mean that I’m not a cat? Huumm, maybe I’m not!
- Long ago, I used to have a big family… Now I don’t. But as far as I remember, they were not satisfied with me no matter what I did and didn’t. And after all these years, I say to myself; I wish I knew that when I was 19.
- I like Bill Cosby when he said “I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.” I always try to remember that.
- I wish we had more fonts… I hear U.
- Some loved ones have a tendency to bite no matter how much we love them. Damn… to them love is just a misunderstanding… That’s all.
- U R looking good, especially for this Thursday. Ain’t that a good feeling?
- Good luck lovi :)
"...And another thing..." And we're back!
Hehe, I don't think hubby would look to kindly on your suggestion, but thanks babe! We're gonna have you talking like a Saffa in no time so you'll be all ready for The Big Visit... only, you may want to get over that crying-when-you-see-homeless-people thing first. Sad but true. {This is where the good ol' SA favourite "Ag Shame" would be appropriate}
:-)
Gotta love that smile!
Best of luck with that interview - you made it this far, so why not go all the way?
I don't know what a pop under is...
But I do wish you luck on the interview, not that I think you need it. And then I wish you wisdom to figure out what it is you want, because getting the job is the easy part!!
Beelze - Vodka breath and evil shades of lipstick could get me far if I play my cards right! See, that's the thing, guilt really like me. It clings to me in some form or another without fail. Resentment sucks too, though. So many things to consider, but vodka is a good place to start. =)
Dr O2 - I'm unreliable too, and you like ME... right?...lol.
Fence - See, I think Benny has a bit o' the ebil thing going on as well. Perhaps they exchange email in an attempt to share ebil secrets.
Farzad - I do bite, so I don't know where that leaves me at all. Interesting thing with families... some of mine simply doesn't like me. Some sort of does but it's at their convenience. The remaining ones just think that everything I do is ridiculous and I should 'stop being like I am'. Whatever that means. I still have the desire to act as 'caretaker', even when some couldn't care less. Thanks =)
Kyknoord - Did I utter those words?...lol. That's a partial giveaway!
Terri - Your hubby will be swept away to a private island for a while and we will assure him you will be there shortly. We're not sure how long we can ply him with alcohol, but we are going to try..
Chitty - I'll be sure to flash it at you should I cross paths with you in SA someday. =)
Jay - Thank you very much. You are right, the wisdom in finding what you want is the the hard, yet most rewarding point.
Just wanted to say goodluck with the interview. You are only given one life to live, live it for the person most important in it - YOU!!! Love the smile btw.
Buddess - Thank you; I really appreciate the support - it's been pretty tough lately. =)
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