Who would have thought them to be so sharp?
I'm still working on things from my last post. And feeling really lost.
In a bout of defiance, I sent off a resume for a job in Pittsburgh at UPMC, which is the university medical center. I don't know what I want. Maybe I want them to call me, maybe I don't. If they do, then I'll have even more thinking to do. Considering that I have next to nothing to my name, a move would be a bad idea financially. Although I am getting nowhere fast in my current situation.
I think I just want to see if someone might want me. It would be nice to feel wanted for a change. Genuinely wanted; for the right reasons.
We'll see.
And how on earth did it happen that I am almost at 10,000 on my counter... who ever would have guessed?
20 comments:
WEIRD THOUGHT LIVEWIRE!! Where's the self-confidence!!! You will be surely welcomed in many places at many job opportunities. It just is a matter of time. Fingers crossed...
I got to post the first comment. yay ;-)
It's usually more effective to think with a purpose, and saying yes or no to a job/relocation would definitely qualify as a purpose, right?
And as for that last question, I don't know, but the first things that popped into my mind were "Uh, talent? Great writing? With beautiful feeling? Connecting with people?" Silly.
move to california !
I think I just want to see if someone might want me. It would be nice to feel wanted for a change. Genuinely wanted; for the right reasons.
If that was a throwaway line then it's a heartbreaker.
If that was thought about and studiously worded then it's a heartbreaker.
Ah, you get the idea - it's a heartbreaker whichever way. You can't let things stop you being you.
You want to know why your counter is at 10,000 ? It's because you are you. Pure and simple. You've done silly posts, serious posts, shocking posts and just plain out-there posts....and here we are still.
Let yourself be you.
"a move would be a bad idea financially"
Au contraire - you are unattached, you are probably renting, you don't have to wait for something in a neighborhood with good schools, and it would not cost much to move your stuff to P-town. Strictly financially, I don't think you would lose very much on the deal.
Of course, is that what you want? Would you be moving away from family and a support system? Would moving to Pittsburgh be positive for you emotionally? Decide those things first, then think about cost.
It will never be easier to do things for your own good than it is right now. Waiting until you have a mate and kids and pets and mortgage out the wazoo ... not so easy then (but still possible).
fern
Dr O2 - I do have self confidence, actually. Lately, you can't even tell, I know. Thanks for the crossed fingers... and I saw; you were first! =)
Anne - I think you are right, I'm striving for a purpose and suppose perhaps I haven't been too specific now, have I? Hmmm... As far as the last part, it just surprises me. Alot.
Deryke - Lol...hey man, can I crash at your place?! (Sorry, couldn't resist!)
Beelze - Aw, you're gonna make me blush! See, those things I can take with me, I think I'm looking for a place to really find a good fit. I believe that place exists; I just need to find it.
Carpy - I wrote the post in about four minutes so it just came out, none of it was planned. (Like about 96% of my posts.) I never meant for it to come across that way, right now I just have this overwhelming feeling that I don't fit. And if I do, it's for the wrong reasons. I always let myself be me... that you can always count on.
Fern - You know, you are right... so can I borrow 4K to get started? Lol..kidding! =) I do have cats, but they are quite portable. Right now I don't know where I want to be, but I feel that this current setup is pretty tapped out. I could leave almost everything here for the right circumstance.
who knows? maybe a better place is waiting on the other side.
Yay for you!
*offers you a cookie*
"I was saving it for a rainy day, but you can have mine! :)"
When you're in a rut, sometimes a good shake up is exactly what's needed.
change/holiday/cliche...
Also 10,000 on your counter means so many peoples wanted to read you.
Or got here by accident, but we come back, so we must want to read.
ljheoe: a livejournal whore, make that an excitable livejournal 'ho
Well I say if you wanna get out there & change your life a bit, go for it. Just don't do it in an attempt to escape your demons because they will just come back to haunt you later.
Take it from someone who knows.
But I gotta agree with all the other stuff that's been said - you're extremely talented in many ways and that's why we're all still here. Hey, you're a likeable gal
:-)
I copy that, Captain. I can loan you my map of Nowhere, if you like. The counter's on 9992. I just have to hit refresh eight more times...
I say, GO FOR IT too.
Damn, you owe it to yourself to let yourself be heard! And by that I do not mean a pirate chuckle.
If you're feeling lost, look at where your feet meet the ground. Contemplate that for a while. Understand the implications. Then, work up from there.
Pittsburgh is nice, but perhaps you might consider farther east--Philadelphia. Much more going on. If you're in health care, maybe I could help you out.
I think sometimes it's good to grab at those sharp clouds. Their outcomes help give direction. I think.
I think everything everyone else has said has summed it up pretty nicely-so many people want to read your blog because you are you. You are honest,funny and smart. So don't be so down on yourself, you're great!
Jenn See - Yeah, it's a pretty cool place. Hey, if I make it there and you visit the bro... let's go check out that secret river.
Transience - There is a better place out there, of that I am sure, I just have to find the better place in my mind, too.
Bean - A cookie? You're the best! =)
Jay - That's what I've been feeling; just need to shake things up. But I won't use UHaul (ahem).
Fence - lol... So I'm kinda like the La Brea Tar Pits, you step in me accidentally and are forver stuck! =)
Terri - That's like the phrase 'No matter where you go, there you are.' Those demons don't give a damn about state lines... sounds like you and I could compare notes there. Hey... is this where I do the Sally Field thing and say 'You like me. You really like me...'....heehee!
Kyknoord - Funny thing is, you'd NEVER guess who the 10,000th person was! ;) (And I might want to borrow the map.)
Chitty - I changed my mind... I'm going with you! I'll start packing.
Jason - When I look down I get bummed out by the hole in my shoe. That says way too much about my life at this stage. Then again, maybe that's a perfect starting point. I sort of have a life-long thing with the Burgh, but that doesn't mean that I won't consider anything else. Just like in the movie What About Bob...baby steps, baby steps...lol.
Goddess - I'll agree with you... sometimes that can give new perspective.
Motor - Eh, I'm too stubborn to be down for too long, but I never did learn how to take a compliment well and believe it.
Heidi - I've missed you! This position was really a last minute shot and I won't fall to pieces if I don't get it. I just needed to see if I could do it. And I did. So I sent off a second for another hospital...lol. It may not get me a job but it may reinstate some confidence, so that makes it all worth it. =)
I know how you got 10,000! :O)
Its a great blog and alot of people read it!
There's lots of jobs down here in the swamps of New Orleans. And you can pretty much pick your price. They're paying a six thousand dollar signing bonus to hire people for Burger King!
Alex - Thanks Alex! Well, that and I pay them....lol.
IndeGrl - Yeah, it quite a livable city in many aspects. Even if I don't get an offer, we can get together and celebrate 'attempt #2'!...lol.
John - Damn, 6K for BK?! Yeah, but I'm not sure I could work in hip waders. And that creepy 'King' from the commercials scares me.
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