Never gave you even half of what your worth

Woo-Mutha-Luvin'-Hoo! It's been almost eight, count 'em, e-i-g-h-t full hours since I've cried. Thank god, I think I was becoming dehydrated...

But read on... it's going to get better... it's not all a boo-hoo post!

Anyway, the thing that had me upset from the last post has been addressed directly (I didn't expect anything less from this person) and although I cried the entire time (such a wimp lately...) it's pretty much out there. I don't know if it can be fixed, or if there is something to fix; I just know I feel alot of guilt. Whether real or imagined, I feel it. I feel better for having talked, which I knew I would.

I'm beginning to think I should just tattoo the work pariah on my forehead. Anyway.

On to the big news. It may go nowhere but for now, it's huge fucking news. Remember how I said I applied for a job (via internet) at UPMC? Of course you do... you hang on my every word. {ahem} So anyway, later that day I threw caution to the wind and also applied to Allegheny General. Well, less than 24 hours later, AG had called me to set up an interview. Less than 24 hours after submitting it on the internet... and I'm out of state!!! So I've talked to two people but will be scheduling the interview tomorrow. Well, as long as a plane engine (a la Donnie Darko) doesn't fall down and get me. So here I am, all 'oh what the hell, nothing better to do, might as well send this and see if anyone wants me' then end up doing a second one... and they contact me immediately. Shit. I'm so excited and nervous all at once. They must've liked what they saw on the resume, which was not padded, by the way. I'm going to try for Monday or Tuesday for an interview but we'll see what they have available. Just like anyone, I'm afraid they'll interview me and not choose me; which may indeed happen. But at least I can try. I'll charm the pants off them. Believe it or not, this LiVEwiRe has more charm hiding under her boobs at any given moment than most people have after years of enrollment in charm school. (Even though that phrase lacks any bit of charm...lol.) Of course, then that means moving again... move #40. Say, does that spell party or what?! If I'd get this job and accept it, anyone else looking to move to Pittsburgh? We could get a great loft apartment...

Photo circa: 1977

Photo circa: Uh, more recent... =)

I'm sure you can tell by my nonstop babbling that I'm excited. And equally frightened... all the 'what-ifs', you know? And if not this one, there would be another one available at some point in time. I just know that my current job is not working and it won't be working - unless they change the entire structure.

So anyway... for the moment, I have something to look forward to and I can feel that the possibility of it is giving me back a portion of my strength. In the past week, several situations (really one in particular) told me I didn't have worth... within 24 hours, they let me know that I did. I had enough worth for them to want to talk with me further.

I am so ready for something good.