I will burn for you

Feel pain for you
I will twist the knife and bleed my aching heart
I'll tear it apart
(#1 Crush - Garbage)

So I was going to put up corny lyrics to some silly love song. But I couldn't think of one... I swear, not one. I was even browsing a lyrics page and couldn't find anything. Then... I settled on this song... which I completely love. And it's sort of a love song. In a creepy, stalker kind of way; especially if you listen and catch the rest of the lyrics. But that's ok, because yours truly has a slightly offbeat (I hear the collective gasp now) idea that kind of fits the theme...

Well, not so much a stalking theme (don't worry, I'm too lazy to be a good stalker) but the 'love' theme. I mean really, 'stalking' is just a highly concentrated form of love... right?! So anyway, I had this idea... I was talking to a friend about me not having been in a relationship for what seems to be ages and in being the incredible person that he is, had some wonderful things to say about how he views me. And no, I don't mean through a secret peephole in the door, I mean truly flattering things. But here's the point - I just don't get that; or maybe it's that I can't wrap my brain around the whys and hows. I mean, maybe in some ways, but here's this fabulous person seeing something in me that I can't see myself. Then I thought about that further - we're all like that to some extent, right? Of course we are! We all see ourselves as less than what we either are, or are capable of being.

So here's my thought. I'm making a nifty little tee shirt with one category for the back: good; then one for the front: evil. On the back I'd want to list some of the good things about me, even if it's something I've been told but can't quite admit to. (Yes, I'm one of those people that can admit to the evils easier than the positive side of myself.) It won't say anything other than 'good' or 'evil' and the lists. People are naturally inquisitive so their nosy asses would want to read it. My list of evils would probably be longer, so I put it on the front... that way, when "all the guys" (like my subtle marketing ploy?) read it they can, at best, take a break and look into mezmerizing green eyes or at worst: I won't feel like someone is staring at my ass for ages. This way, no one can ever say...'I never knew you _____' or 'what in the hell is this ______ all about?!' See? Total honesty from the get go!

Just for shits and giggles, here's a few things I'd put on it:

good

(Supposedly) sparkling laughter (was that the right word?!)
never takes the biggest/last piece of pizza
let's you win now and then when totally kicking your ass
remembers the little things about you
can get/keep your attention with a single kiss
not afraid to try new things
can make you laugh
has a million smiles in waiting

evil

likes to throw things
known to swear like a sailor
forgets the big things about everything
won't share frappuccinos
has a fit when going to the grocery store is suggested
habitual car-singer; loud and off key - deal with it
cluttered - if I can't see it, I forget about it...
stubborn

So that's what I'm thinking... then all of the major points are just out there. Of course I think my good list is over but boy do I have more for the evil list! It would most likely wrap around the sleeve so I'd better make this a long sleeved shirt. See, if enough people read it, it increases your chances of ending up with a good match and also, you can get feedback. Like several people may tell me that I must indeed share my fraps. At that point I have to re-evaluate... but I don't see that 'frap sharing' thing happening. There's bargaining power here, I tell you!

So... what would you put on your shirt?!