Recipe type things...

Some of you expressed interest in recipes for the items shown in my previous post. If you knew how little I actually cooked, you'd find it laughable... As promised, here are the recipes - I hope you enjoy! If you try them, let me know how they turn out, ok?

Salsa the Hard Way
(There are no quantities, volumes, or amounts here as this is all 'to taste'.)

Tomatoes (Regular, large, vine ripened if possible)
Green Pepper
Red Pepper
Corn (On the cob is best)
Jicama (Ask the grocer)
Onion
Garlic
Hot Pepper(s) (Pick your level of heat)
Cilantro (fresh)
Limes (Or lime juice)
Salt/Pepper

Put on gloves first - you will thank me in the end. "Gut" the tomatoes, saving the seeds and juicy stuff in a bowl in case you need to add moisture at the end. Wash peppers and place directly on stovetop. A gas range works best. Turn peppers when each side becomes charred. You should remove the battery from your smoke detector first. Let all sides roast, leaving about 1/4 to 1/3 of the pepper green/red. When you are done roasting them, plunge them under cold running water and rub. Most of the charred skin will slough off but leave some of the blackened portions to add flavor, color, and texture. While they are roasting, take about 1/3 each of your diced onion and minced garlic and lightly saute. If you have cooked corn on the cob, roast that lightly as well; it will bring out the sweetness. Canned corn can be used if you don't have fresh corn on the cob. Peel and dice jicama. Jicama is a root bulb thing that looks like a large turnip and tastes like a combination between a raw potato and raw apple. It is white and retains it's crunch. Best of all, it does not turn brown. You can also use it as a fruit/veggie for a sweet or savory dip. Chop, dice, or mince all veggies, including the fresh cilantro. Snap the bottom of a stem of cilantro in a fresh bunch; it should give off a pungent, unmistakable citrusy scent. The amount I have in the picture (looks like parsley) is actually about 1/3 the amount I'd normally use. Don't be afraid to use it! As far as the hot pepper... be afraid to use it...lol. Add it at the end. Separate seeds and membranes as they are the hottest. Mince it as fine as possible and even smash a little bit into juice, scooping it up with your knife to add to the bowl. This distributes the flavor more evenly. Juice a lime (pulp included) into the bowl or use lime juice. Add it in small amounts! After all is said and done, add pepper and salt. Mix well, let it sit for an hour or two then taste again. You may need to do this a few times to get the salt/lime/heat thing arranged properly. You might end up adding salt a few times as it seems to disappear in there somewhere...

Now, as for this cake.... I'll make it easy and use the recipe given. If you want to use an actual cake-from-scratch recipe, knock yourself out. I'll make a note afterward showing changes I made**.

Red Velvet Cherry Torte

Red Velvet box cake mix (yield: 2 round 9 inch cakes) such as Duncan Hines
1 (21oz) can of cherry pie filling
1/4 teaspoon almond extract
1 (8oz) container frozen non-dairy whipped topping, thawed (ie: Cool Whip - NEVER use the canned stuff!)
1/4 cup toasted, sliced almonds/hazlenuts **
Prepared Cream Cheese frosting ** such as Pillsbury

Make and completely cool cakes. Combine cherry pie filling and almond extract in a bowl and stir.
Place one cake layer on a cake plate or something similar. Spread with 1 cup whipped topping then 1/2 of the pie filling mixture. Top with the second cake layer and spread remaining pie filling mixture to within 1 1/2 inches of the cake edge. Decorate edge with remaining whipped topping and sliced almonds.

My version**:

I've never used almond extract. Prior to the layer of Cool Whip, I spread a thin layer of cream cheese frosting**. Don't worry if the crumbs blend in, no one will see it as it gets topped by Cool Whip then cherry pie filling. For the top layer, I use another thin layer of frosting** and another layer of Cool Whip, taking it out to the edge. You can easily pipe Cool Whip around the edge first making a corral for the top layer of cherries. Hazelnut pieces or almond slices can go around the edge of the piped Cool Whip. To transport the cake or prevent the layers from sliding, use several long wooden skewers placed in at an angle, almost forming an 'X' of sorts.

So there, that is my contribution to the culinary world. Please let me know if you try them or like them, or if you come up with new variations. Bon appetit!