Even I can laugh at this!

Of course there are many things I could be addressing at this time; some good, some not so good. Let's just say the past few days have not, in much of any way, gone as planned. So although my frame of mind is still rather fragile I'm not scheduling to hurl my body onto any of the numerous train tracks here in the 'Burgh.

The entire point of this post is to show you my unmentionables.

Yep, you read correctly. Or, perhaps I should call them my unidentifiables. Know how some people (when referring to cooking) say they can 'burn water'? Well here's my laundry-based version....


Yep. I melted... freaking annihilated... my unmentionables. Until they became unidentifiables. There was another item that sustained some damage but not nearly so drastic. I think you could substitute this for the center of a tennis racket; it's like hard plastic!

After this little mishap I'm sooo asking Victoria for her Secret. I bet she doesn't have this problem. Damned dryers anyway.

Declare this an emergency...

(Title from Muse ~ Apocalypse Now.)

This is a bad moment in time. Very, very bad. Tears are flowing and thoughts are slamming around in my head. Disjointed. Negative. I'd knock down walls if it would help. I'd bleed myself if I thought there was a chance that it might right the wrongs. But those things won't help.

Several days ago a thought came back to me that I hadn't let myself think of for about a year and a half. It's always there, though, lurking. Waiting. Now it's back.

See, last week I caught the end of an old song on the radio that was a favorite of someone close to me. Someone that may still be alive had I done the right thing. But I didn't. At the time, I didn't know the circumstances but it doesn't matter; death is death. Five and a half years later, I still feel responsible. Right or wrong, that's how I feel.

When I broke down over this a year and a half ago, it eventually subsided. I'm ready for the numbness to creep in. Feeling responsible for a death is truly alot to handle. It will be there forever, though. How can you forget something like that?


This is the last time I'll abandon you
and this is
the last time I'll forget you
I wish I could

(Muse ~ Stockholm Syndrome)

Ignore this post.

No, really. It's just going to be me putting a bunch of vague, psychobabble stuff here to have an account of what is going on in my head and maybe, with a little luck, come back and reread it sometime and learn from it. That being said, let the babbling begin...

How can one person be so conflicted, have a decent grip of right and wrong, sensible and nonsensible, care too much, yet not care at all? My edginess lately has less to do with others and more to do with my state of mind yet somehow I seem to have no problem snapping at others. Perhaps it is easier to do that than to examine my own porous state of mind. There is so much going on in my head but part of me is almost distancing myself from it. Yeah, yeah, it's called self preservation, I know, but identifying a term doesn't necessarily make me more comfortable with it. I should know better and be able to put all these things in their proper place; shoulda, coulda, woulda...blah, blah, blah.

In one respect, I think I know what one of the problems is. And it kills me to admit it. I think I'm having a bout of lonliness. Blech. There. I said it. I talk to my family and a few friends from Ohio, but you know, it's just not the same as having someone near by. Most of my life I've been more than happy to have my own privacy, space, and the option to see and talk to people whenever I saw fit. Now things have changed. It's like that choice has been taken away and I'm feeling it; completely the opposite (yet not dissimilar) to when I had no privacy or time to myself before I moved. It's sad when you strike up conversations with your cell phone carrier and utility company reps because you are obviously craving some sort of human interaction. If I got telemarketing calls, they'd probably hang up on me... Part of me just wants to have someone to be there. Considering that I detest the idea of being dependent on another person, I think I could use just a little of that.

Just like everyone else in the world, I'm sure, I'm trying to find where I fit in the scheme of things. That's difficult to do when you feel like you've temporarily lost your sense of self. I say temporarily because I know this will pass. Hopefully I'll learn something from it, but in the mean time, man, this just plain blows. And the things is, I really don't think this is a manic or depressive episode - it's just simply what I feel. That kind of makes it harder because I see it as more 'real'; not some set of exaggerated thoughts and feelings that will morph back into reality given meds and time. This is reality. That's always harder to cope with. So yes, I'm edgy and depressed, but my guess is because I'm actually facing these things head on knowing that they are what I am truly feeling, not a temporary surge or absence of neurotransmitters in my gray matter. I'm edgy and depressed because I have to face the fact that only I have the answers... and you know what? Funny thing is I'm fresh out of answers.

Another thing I really need to come to terms with is how to make certain thoughts leave my head. They aren't bad thoughts in this case, other than the fact that they are taking up too much time in my head and there will be no culmination of events to solidify these thoughts. No, not bad per se, but somewhat self-torturing. I do have a great deal of common sense (somewhere) and I know that putting energy into these thoughts is not only futile but completely irrelevant and utterly pointless. It's useless. For the one case I have in mind, I know that. I tell myself this and remind myself to be strong. Yeah, it works for a day at best. Somehow I get drawn back into it. Where does my sense go? Is there a hiding place that calls out to my better judgment and offers shelter leaving me looking like a fool, exhausted from emotionally banging my head against a wall? For this situation, I know there will be a day that it crumbles; I just don't know how soon it will be. I'm not taking a defeatist attitude, it's just a simple fact. When it happens, I'll take it hard. But then the release will begin. Part of me wishes that it would happen sooner rather than later because sadly, I can't seem to break free on my own.

Well, I've just read this post over and oddly, I sound somewhat in control with a matter-of-fact tone. Interestingly, I must have a major duality issue because that is not at all what I'm feeling. Just because I can put it into words doesn't mean I have a clue as to how to make myself feel better. They do say that identifying it is half the battle. Great. Then the rest of the battle should be a real treat. Hopefully the carnage will be kept to a minimum.

Ah shit.

Today is peculiar already. Somewhere between getting out of bed, peeing, and getting something to drink, a major case of the 'antsy-crankies' has set upon me. Maybe it's because for the most part, I've been taking things in stride. It's like, within 12.3 seconds, it all caught up to me. I'm tired of babysitting chronological adults, doing others' jobs for them, and trying to keep track of everything and anything. I really, really don't like being in the position to have to 'believe' people when they tell me things or fighting for the most common and mundane things to work out. Yet somehow, I always feel compelled to do more... to make things work. Then I just piss myself off.

Yes, this is vague, but you know what? If I really let loose now, I mean really just let it all fly, well, let's just say it would get ugly. I'm not sure I want to be responsible for that. I'll tell ya' - some days...

Motto for the day: fuck off

Mishmoshashonna

Oh the millions of little things rushing through my brain. Oddly, even with that, it kind of feels like a big vacuum up there - how does that work?!

Alright, with the mention of the shopping trip on the weekend I'll say that I got some business-like attire (explanation coming), a few CDs (happy birthday to me), and although I didn't buy it, I tried on the cutest little dress. Really, I didn't buy it, but it was so cute it made me giggle! Truthfully, I think it looked way cuter on me than on the model. Might sound smug but no, it's simple truth. ;)


It looked like a combination between an 'I Love Lucy' dress and a pin-up girl dress. You'd have to wear it with 1940s platform pumps to make it look really good, though. The sweet little cherry print kind of offset the fitted bodice. If I only had somewhere to wear it...

Anyway, the business attire is for a possible upcoming interview. Yes, I put any job searches on hold, but this was something I applied for 4 months ago and they are just now beginning to set up interviews. I passed the first portion of the screening process today and now it's on to management if they see fit to interview me. Until I hear back, the tags stay on the clothes. I'll let you know if anything happens.

Almost thought I'd get away with no one knowing about my birthday at work, but it didn't work that way. One guy brought in a cake and a card for me, which was really sweet. (The guy and the cake both.) Kind of hard to hide it when there's a big cake saying 'Happy Birthday LiVEwiRe' right there on the conference room table. And most of my family remembered....lol. For a moment I was reliving the scene in Sixteen Candles when Molly Ringwald's family forgot her birthday. At one point someone asks her if she remembered something to which she replied a bit caustically, 'Yes, I remember lots of things.' That was a good movie, wasn't it?

Have you ever known someone you've felt rather drawn to, and you're pretty sure they feel the same thing to some extent, but nothing manifests with it? Gah! It's so frustrating! It makes me hate them sometimes. Then that dissipates and I just... can't... help... myself! Like a moth to the flame. Just give me the damn ZAP and be done with me, ok?

The lovely little plant I've been trying to grow (and occasionally yet unintentionally kill) has momentarily defied the odds. It's still on shaky roots but the little thing has a new shoot! Hot damn! If you knew me and my relationship with plants, you'd understand that this is a miracle of biblical proportions. Hmpfh... seems it wanted more water or something involved and technical like that. Go figure.

Why don't cars have 'slow down' lights on them? I mean, they have brake lights but why not ones that are, oh, say blue or something to just indicate when the idiot in front of you has either taken their foot off the brake going uphill or decided to downshift?! Would that be so hard? In a city built on some severe hills, that would come in handy. People are too lazy to brake sometimes and should you take your eyes off them for just a moment (perhaps to eye up the jackass flying up at warp speeds to suck on your tailpipe) you may miss the fact that they are slowing down. By default, you then become the jackass trying to suck on a tailpipe. Would this be such a radical option on vehicles?!

About a week ago I woke up and immediately thought that I had to talk to Eric. Um, ok. I don't know any Eric. Do you? Is he worth talking to? If so, why? Brain cells are weird.

Speaking of brain cells, I've been trying to get an appointment with my psych doc for almost a week. I've left three messages. Um... don't you think it's dangerous not to return calls from psych patients? I mean, it's just for an appointment but still, it's not good to piss off the crazies.

There's about 16 other goofy thoughts running through my head but I'm going to stop. I need to get out of 'babble mode' before I go to work. Although I have no idea why - they're used to it.

I'll just blame it on the heat

Or Mercury being in retrograde. Poor Mercury gets such a bad rap being blamed for everything but hey, someone has to be the fallguy, right?

Lately, things have been a real struggle; I feel like I'm just endlessly spawning. Don't get me wrong, nothing has been really horrendous, it's just that even the most simple things are noticeably, well, noticeable. You know, like when you attempt the simplest task and it turns into some comedy of errors? Just about everything is like that. Worst part? It's draining and time comsuming. Best part? It's funny in a slightly twisted kind of way. Meh, just mentioning it, that's all. I'm taking it in stride for the most part.

It's hot here. Not so much hot as disgustingly humid. I'm breaking a sweat just typing this. Blech. Adding insult to injury, I have to go clothes shopping tomorrow... have to. The thought of that usually bothers me but in this case, I'm only focusing on the cool air-conditioned comfort of the department stores. Hell, I may stay there all day. Speaking of hell, if it's hot there (as rumor has it), that's doable; if it's humid too - I'd better change my wicked ways. I don't think I could deal with an eternity of humidity.

Hey, here's something fun - I got a call from a friend I haven't seen in about 2.5 years (although we write and email, etc.) and she is coming into town tonight. Wow, I actually have plans for once. I'm just really excited to see her! She's one of those people that you can just sit and laugh with, even over things that you shouldn't be laughing at! =)

Annnnd... since I haven't done it in a while, I'm including a link. A certain Blogger (no names mentioned, FM) turned me on to this song a little while back and I've just had it cranked all day. It's rather gritty, grindy and raunchy sounding in a Brit kind of way; excellent if you ask me. But since you haven't asked me, I thought I'd offer my commentary anyway. So, go here and listen to Supermassive Black Hole.

Gotta go for now but I'll be around visiting tomorrow!

Something wicked this way comes...

And I don't mean my dental bill, or a mild mania phase, or even my attempt to find a new abode. This, this is much worse...

I came in from work tonight and unbeknownst to me at the time, I was being watched. By how many eyes I can't be sure. All I know is that I sat down to listen to my voice mail and thats when I saw it. With unsettlingly stealthy moves, it crawled into the huge heating vent on the floor. I only saw what I'd like to assume was the back half, but I can tell you this... I'm surprised I didn't hear footsteps. It was huge. Now, we know I have a particular dislike when it comes to spiders, so I really hope that's not what this overgrown creature was. No matter, I am not too keen on this thing being loose in MY living space. It pays no rent. And even if it did, I don't think I'd be up for such a living arrangement. Judging by the size of it, I'd say it belongs in a zoo somewhere being fed slabs of raw meat. I'm supposing that any stray fuzz or thread that touches me will now cause me to scream like a little sissy. Certain that this genetic anomoly is out to get me, I'll undoubtedly get very little sleep. Do you think it would be overkill to pour cement into all my vents?

Ah, anyway. Hopefully I'll get to catch up on blogs this weekend. I've really missed seeing what everyone is up to. If you don't hear from me it just means that this many-legged beast has dragged me off to be meals number 623 - 12,971; not to worry. Ahem.

The beat goes on...

... in the form of throbbing.

The reason for the pain? Let's just say I had a second root canal today, right beside the first one. I am now on enough pain meds and antibiotics to count as a meal. Forgive the lack of comments; I'm busy trying not to drool on the keyboard. That's as much as I can handle now.

Thanks for all the sympathy, good wishes and support! =)

Ouch muthafucka!

A little story in three-word format.


Emergency. Root. Canal.

Prescription. For. Vicodin.

It's. Not. Working.


The end.

Just for laughs

Someone sent these buttons to me in an email and I had to share.

Enjoy!





I could wear any one of those at any given moment and it would be fitting. I might have to find a way to make my own!

Sometimes people are just inconsiderate, rude, and make me want to become a hermit!

Is this new? No, not really. But let me just tell you a little about my evening. Maybe you're not interested, but I'm going to bitch about it anyway.

So, I'm hanging out with my neighbor last night and after a while he asks me if I could take him somewhere and bring him back because his SUV is still impounded (even police officers, which he is, have to play by the rules, I guess) and his arranged ride ditched at the last minute. Well, it's 9:30pm and although I wasn't doing anything to speak of, other than planning on relaxing, I really didn't feel like doing the drive. I was tired to begin with, had things to do (like looking for a new apartment), and funny thing, didn't relish the thought of being stuck in another shitty neighborhood for an undetermined amount of time - after dark no less...

Of course, I knew that he had a perfectly respectable reason for needing to go and it wasn't his fault that his sister cancelled last minute; I was there when she called. This is a self-sufficient kind of guy and I knew he most likely hated to ask me. He even offered to fill my gas tank, no matter how low it was (no small feat financially). So, yours truly sucked it up and said I'd take him. Basically, the scenario pointed out that I didn't have anything important in my life to tend to (yeah, thanks for shedding light on that uplifting thought, jackass) and he really did need the help. He's been nothing but nice to me, so why not?

I'll tell you why not!!! As soon as he was ready he was supposed to call me or knock on my door and I'd meet him out front. Simple plan, right? So I wait. And I get a few things done. Then I wait some more. I can still see his lights on. So I watch TV (found a good show, by the way) and eventually, it's 11:30pm! Now, I may not have much of an exciting life, but it was hot and at least I'd like to strip out my clothes and put on something cool and comfy while I'm not having that exciting life I mentioned.

Anyway, I ended up staying awake until 2am, dressed and ready to go. After midnight, I remained dressed simply for the fact that if he DID come to my door, I could tell him to fuck off fully dressed and not in a Happy Bunny tank top and shorts. I called him twice and left messages to see if he fell asleep or changed his mind or what... but this wasn't an ongoing offer. Do not knock on my door at 4am and expect me to take your ass anywhere! Unless you are bleeding profusely; and then, that's what 911 is for!

If you ask me for a favor, I will more than likely help you, even if it wasn't really in my plans. Especially when I know that this was something important that he does every week and revolves around his family. But after drawing attention (albeit unintentionally) to the fact that I have no life so I'm basically available, and then to leave me hanging when your house is literally less than two feet away from mine; well, you've just gone and pissed me right off, mister.

He may have a good reason, but it would have been nice to be let in on the fact that we weren't going and I could have gone to bed! When I see him next, I'm sure I'll smile and ask what happened... but I'll want to say, "What the fuck was your problem you inconsiderate son of a bitch?!" But I won't. Who knows. Maybe I will, I've been a bit edgy lately.

I must remind myself - I did gain the opportunity to watch TV, which is quite rare. And I found a good show... I'll repeat that thought until I no longer want to kick him in the balls.

Odd Times at LiVEwiRe High

This will most likely make no sense to you, but I need to recap the days events for myself, albeit vaguely.

I ended up hanging out for hours today with someone that I don't know all that well, but he really intrigues me. Interestingly, there was a bonus guest... his 17 month old son. Being an only child, I know nothing of kids; yet, like dogs, they gravitate toward me. This child spent more time with/on me than anywhere else. Weird.

Anyway. Regarding this guy. It was just all fun and relaxed, BSing about anything and everything but somehow there were comments that started to cross the line. Not in a bad way, but you know the line I mean. He found 'reasons' to get closer a few times and things ended with an 'almost kiss'. You know, when it's not a full on kiss, but more than a kiss on the cheek. Again, weird.

Isn't it odd how you may have thoughts of something or someone (which I had), but when it gets right down to it, you question them (in your mind) when you've been given no real reason to? Is it part of some deep seated self protection mechanism that we all have? How do we know when to protect or when to just go with it? And why do people make things so complicated? Ok, here I am definitely referring to me.

I mean, it's truly no big deal, I guess I'm just wondering why the mind works like it does. Perhaps that's why I'm so interested in Behavioral Medicine and Psychology... we all live in the perfect classroom everyday and we still don't have the answers, do we?

An olive branch from Blogger

So, Blogger decided to throw me a bone. Finally. But I opted to put them in a new post because it was taking ages to add just one in the previous post. In any event, here are the remaining shots...



And there you have it... Pittsburgh and Point State Park (you can see the huge fountain right in the front) as seen from the Overlook right up the street from me. Too bad I won't go up there at night myself for some photos for fear of getting mugged. Eh, oh well.

Of bridges, art, and roads never traveled...

This weekend has managed to fly by but it was filled with so many things. My mom came out to visit and stayed over Saturday night. All in all, it gave us about 28 hours to spend together, which isn't much, but we made the most of it! I've got a few pictures that I took yesterday, but I'll post those in a minute.

It was a little difficult when my mom was leaving today. Then again, it usually is when it's time to say goodbye to anyone, right? We filled our 'weekend' with a subway ride (which neither of had done in 15 years!) into the city for the annual Three Rivers Arts Festival (check out the upcoming Regatta and Phipps Conservatory links, too), drove sans directions cross town just to go to one store, celebrated her birthday a few days early with a great dinner out including Flemish Onion soup spiked with quite a bit of stout, spent time at the West End Overlook (you'll know by the pics) and... yes, I'm going to say it... scoped out potential neighborhoods for me to move to. Nothing has improved with my job. In fact, unless something changes, I'm slated to work 12 days straight (most likely with overtime on at least eight of those days) starting tomorrow. But familiarity is taking hold and I know that I have nothing to go back to in Ohio as far as a job is concerned. I may be setting up camp here in Pittsburgh for a bit. Do I miss my family? Sure I do. Can I expect them to (or do I want them to) support me... no. Might be time for me to just hang out here for a while. Remember before when I was so sure I was moving back to Ohio? Well, the scales are tipping. I'm not surprised, I kind of do that with my life. The 'Burgh may be stuck with me for a while; who knows...

So, with that, I'll add some pics....

** Well, Blogger won't let me post the other three (in this post or a new one) so I will just add them later, when it permits. Those will be the ones from the Overlook. **

A wise person once said...

It isn't possible to ski through a revolving door.

Ok, you got me - it was the title of a spam email in my bulk box but it did make me think. About what, I'm not sure, but hey, anything that gets me to think can't be all bad, can it? I'm still confused over it though.

I had to take a break from my most recent activity and this is what I came up with.


This comes from stuffonmycat.com, which is a riot. Go there. You'll laugh. (There's a link in the lower right corner of my sidebar which is why I'm not duplicating it here.)

Anyway, my most recent activity... yes, it's that time. I'm on the search for a new place to live. Not that drug lords, vandals and gunshots are undesirable in a neighborhood, but, well, yeah - they pretty much are. I'm teetering on the edge of Move # 41... dun, dun, duh. (That reminds me unnervingly of 'Area 51'...) At this moment, I need an aspirin the size of a hockey puck for my aching head, and this is just the beginning.

Oh well. I'm able to be appeased by scanning my new purchases... two tank/short pj sets with Happy Bunny on them; one says 'cute but psycho, things even out' and the other (my fave) says 'crazy doesn't even begin to cover it'! Heh. Ooh, and a pink Debbie Harry/Blondie tee that utterly kicks ass.

Oh shit... I'm talking about clothes... I must be in denial about the impending move.

So anyway, what's your take on the skis through a revolving door thing?

One false move

Sometimes you miss things when you are running. Other times you discover them or see them more clearly.

No missteps.

Because that can change the meaning entirely; of course, only if you realize it. Otherwise it's like telling a killer joke to a foreign speaking audience.

There is a fine line between getting caught up in a misstep and becoming the focal point. It can be sort of comical in a Woody Allen meets Kafka sort of way.

Some cracks you'll find filled while some continue to widen. Nothing poignant there, just a simple observation.

Decisions are made and revoked, even as the dust is still settling. Something always overriding the reason that brought in that decision, pushing you back to square one. But not before you hear the music play and notice the lights dim. Again. And you hang your head.

No missteps.

The fear can paralyze you. So you push forward, more determined than before, but no idea which direction you are heading. Or you drift quietly, no more certain than before.

Some day, I must stop running. Or is that part of what makes life interesting?

No missteps. Too much hangs in the balance.

The Golden Child

Imagine this...

You leave your house and hear a ticking coming from your car. Immediately, you have two logical (humor me here) thoughts. It could be a bomb. I mean, you do annoy and piss off an awful lot of people. Or, it could be something lodged in your tire. Two blocks later, you pull to the side of the road, either to duck for cover from the explosion or check out the invader that has latched onto your tire. Negative on both counts. You resume your drive to work listening to the ticking speed up and slow down the entire way. Once you get to work, after passing through one of the most crowded, confined streets in the city, you sail through the security gate into the designated parking lot only to find your tire half deflated with a portion of a small pipe stuck neatly dead center. Ten minutes later, it is completely flat. (And if you say, 'Well, only on one side!', I'll hit you.)

Now imagine that when you call in to work (yes, from the lot) to tell them you'll be as late as it takes for AAA to get there and put on your spare because you'd rather do it then than at midnight, a coworker comes out telling you he'll handle it, removes the soggy, metal laden tire and replaces it with your spare. He never even gets dirty. When you both walk back in, you are only 21 minutes late, have a safe ride home and most importantly, did not block half of a main thoroughfare at the beginning of rush hour therefore saving you endless hours of torture from angry natives.

I was indeed The Golden Child. I mean really, who unknowingly drives on a deflating tire and watches it go flat once they are safe in the parking lot at their destination. Thankfully me.

Paper hemorrhoids

This is pointless, but I've got to get this off my chest. It's something like this that could very well be the end of my sanity so I'm playing it safe here and releasing the tension.

First, let's remember that I'm completely anal in weird ways. And no... that's not what I'm getting at now, you perv. Anyway. I can drive around in a dirty car and not care one bit. I can wear two different socks and not even notice. But the moment you leave a cap off of a pen or mix upper and lower case letters (liKe tHIs) without intention and not realize it's wrong, well, those are the things that get under my skin and torture me.

So, how can a multi-billion dollar corporation sending out standard monthly billing statements make it's way on that list? Easy. Ever so neatly tri-folded bills. Now, symmetry is great and all, don't get me wrong. But when the fold of the billing statement is so close to the perforated edge, it rips in a jagged pattern when you try to pull it apart. Gah! This means that I have to try to sit there with the skill of an expert surgeon and remove the extra parts that have torn off. If you pull too hard, it rips the remittance portion of the statement and then, then my friends, I'm really screwed. Out comes the tape and I attempt to plaster this miniscule shred of paper back on to it's rightful place. But that's only after I spend five extra minutes still trying to get it off of the perforation. Not a simple task considering it's a perforation... the word itself leads you to believe it's going to be easy. Not so. By the time I'm done, it looks as if it's gone through a shredder - right along with my nerves. Couldn't they come up with a better solution? Why is it that the little things get to us the most?

Hmmm. Perhaps I should look into online bill paying?

Must. Have. Sleep.

So. I made it back in one piece! The rest I had hoped for? None. At all. But it was still worth it. Of course there's a good chance that the red lines in my eyes will never go away.

Isabella was very good for the ride. For the first hour she didn't move. If I accelerated or hit the brakes she just kind of rolled in the same position - kind of like a stuffed animal. After a while she got the hang of it and was fine. She sucks at conversation, though. Although as a cat, she is more skilled than some humans I know.

I stopped in to the hospital where I used to work and visited there for a while. In some ways it felt comfortable, but a part of me really felt out of place. Just the passage of time I guess. It was nice to see them again, though.

My wonderful lake and noisy seagulls were there to greet me, along with a few herons to add to the mix. I really miss that. Alot. I hate being land locked; rivers don't count.

Made it to my 'nephew's' 4th birthday party and didn't even have to up my tranquilizer dose. Came close. He's spending time with some really beastly children and it seems he's taking on some of the behavior. Blech. Even so, it was a good time. And there was a big yellow Sponge Bob cake, so how bad could it be?

My friend's grad party was pretty fun. Her family is nuts, which I've known for years. After a few drinks they are swinging around light poles. Really, they are. It was wonderful to see her reach her goal and have us all there to share in the celebration. A former co-worker went with me and he and I had the chance to catch up. Of course, I'm pretty sure he's mad at me now but I don't care. He spilled all sorts of info that I had told him that night at work the next day. Not that it was classified, but it was a private conversation. As soon as I found out, I got him on the phone and set things straight. Yeah. He was not happy with me. Oh well. Sometimes I just don't know what get's into that boy.

I almost ran into two other friends, one at each party but the timing was off. First was my friend Lisa; she and I drifted apart about a year and a half ago. We've got the others' number so hopefully we'll be able to catch up. The second was Matt. Oh boy. He comes in and out of my life every couple of years and every time it happens, I realize that I still have that schoolgirl crush that I did back in the 7th grade. But that could be an entire post on it's own.

Spent the entire day on Friday getting my Gram out to shop and run a few errands. It felt really good to have the familiarity of such simple tasks at hand and to be doing them with her. She really enjoyed my visit (and Bella's, too) and was feeling pretty depressed when it came time for us to leave. She'd really like to have me back there.

Mom was kind of busy pet-sitting but I still got to spend time with her. Not as much as I'd have liked, but sometimes schedules don't cooperate. She did, however, accompany me to another interview. Ok, well, not to the interview itself, but she drove with me because she knew where it was and I didn't. We were both tired and cranky from lack of sleep, but it was time well spent. She and I used to hop in the car and just go. Anytime, anywhere. It reminded me a little of that.

And the interview, it was a last minute thing... yes, this is a different company. Perhaps the largest hospital system in Cleveland, they wanted to interview me. So I got up at 5:45am (keep in mind that my current schedule typically sees me going to bed at 4am!), drove there, interviewed, returned to get Isabella, drove back to Pittsburgh, unloaded my things from the car, fed Bella and immediately turned right back around to go to work. Almost 6 hours on the road, an interview, and working all in one day is not something I recommend.

No, I didn't get any of the rest I'd hoped for. If anything, I'm more tired than before. But you know what? It felt good to be there. Now, how it's comparing to being back in Pittsburgh and my comparisons along the way... well, that's just as exhausting; and more than I can think about right now. For now... all I can think about is sleep.....

School is out!

I feel like it's the last day of school before summer vacation. Why? I'm off work Thursday and Friday, plus the weekend! Well hot damn and hallelujah!!! I'm not even unpacked from the weekend and I'm off to Ohio again, well... in about 10 hours or so. I haven't finished packing, organizing, or doing any sort of cleaning up around here and my ISP folks are slated to show up some time between 8am and noon to fix a problem. Oh yeah. I didn't count sleep in there yet either, did I? You know what they say... I'll get all the rest I need when I'm dead.

For now, I'm off to cram six hours of things I need to do into about an hour and a half and try to get a few hours of sleep (depending on when the ISP people get here), then load everything into my car before I take off on another three hour drive with my cat in tow. Well golly, this sounds like such fun. Ahem.

Once I get there, I'm going to stop in at the hospital I used to work at for a quick visit, do a few things for my Gram (just like 'old times'), go to my 'nephew's' fourth birthday party [note to self: take extra Excedrin and sedatives], and attend my friend's college graduation party. There are a few other things in the works, but we'll see what happens. I'd like to just get some time to relax, too, if possible.

Catching up on blogs after my mini-getaway should be interesting. It's kind of fun to see how much can change for everyone in just a few days! Ok... off to do all the stuff I should have done before.