And I don't mean my dental bill, or a mild mania phase, or even my attempt to find a new abode. This, this is much worse...
I came in from work tonight and unbeknownst to me at the time, I was being watched. By how many eyes I can't be sure. All I know is that I sat down to listen to my voice mail and thats when I saw it. With unsettlingly stealthy moves, it crawled into the huge heating vent on the floor. I only saw what I'd like to assume was the back half, but I can tell you this... I'm surprised I didn't hear footsteps. It was huge. Now, we know I have a particular dislike when it comes to spiders, so I really hope that's not what this overgrown creature was. No matter, I am not too keen on this thing being loose in MY living space. It pays no rent. And even if it did, I don't think I'd be up for such a living arrangement. Judging by the size of it, I'd say it belongs in a zoo somewhere being fed slabs of raw meat. I'm supposing that any stray fuzz or thread that touches me will now cause me to scream like a little sissy. Certain that this genetic anomoly is out to get me, I'll undoubtedly get very little sleep. Do you think it would be overkill to pour cement into all my vents?
Ah, anyway. Hopefully I'll get to catch up on blogs this weekend. I've really missed seeing what everyone is up to. If you don't hear from me it just means that this many-legged beast has dragged me off to be meals number 623 - 12,971; not to worry. Ahem.
16 comments:
The oblivious little hairy, invertebrate cretin...
Go get it!
Is it too big for the hoover? That's my weapon of choice when faced with the evilness of the many-legged creepy-crawly world.
Perhaps you should invest in a pet lion - I hear they're great for keeping out unwanted visitors of all sizes.
No matter how snarly the beast, I'm sure it would bow to a shoe.
oh no!! I'm SO glad I don't have vents in my house!! seriously I would be FREAKING out!!!
but on the BRIGHT side
if it lives in your vents it probably likes the dark... so maybe all you have to do is leave all your lights on all the time!! hehehe
Ewwwww... I had goosebumps just reading his description. Definitely cement the vents ;)
Many old small budget Hollywood films come to mind.
"It came from outer space"
"The swamp thing"
"The creature"
It's intelligent, too. It knew that it should hide when it saw you.
Anne - I'd go get it if I really knew it was oblivious. Somehow I think it knows more than it's letting on.
Fence - Bizarre as it sounds, my vacuum doesn't have attachments; never did! That means I'd have to get way too close.
Terri - Oooh... lions are nice! =) Around here, one could come in quite handy!
Jason - Then I vote for YOUR shoe... I don't want to get to close in case it attacks. ;)
Kitty - Hey, an $1100 electric bill would be a small price to pay to keep this thing in hiding!
Tigress - Then it's settled; tomorrow I go get the cement and start pouring.
Bean - Oh thanks... like I'll ever sleep now...lol.
Kyknoord - See! See! I knew it was smart! This wouldn't be the first time something intelligent hid from me. ;)
hi just drop in to say hi could not read anything just want to ask a favour could you please email me your post to chill@johnnicec.co.za will have internet at home by the end of the month. Thanks enjoy your day
Oh my, I get busy for a while and then come back and check on how you are doing, and discover (for it is some days since the post) that the Large Thing has taken you away into the Vent World.
Well, I hope not. I have a fondness for spiders (not shared by anyone else in my family, all of whom tend to quaver and shriek, even the guys, when the lovely huge spiders walk around the cabin or over a shelf). If it were in my home I'd probably name it.
(So, maybe you can tell it to come to this coast, and it will leave you be?)
A week without a new post... the b*stard got you didn't it?! Should've gone with the cement, LW...
(I know... pot - kettle - black...)
Just saying hi.
If you wake up in the middle of the night and hear a scraping sound on the floor...it may be that thing dragging you off to it's lair!
Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Cement! Lots and lots and LOTS of cement!
Whatalotoffun - Still having internet problems?! Will send an email; hope things are up and running soon!
Jarvenpa - I came close to being taken to Vent World but I bravely fought it off. I've also posted little signs around the apartment directing this creature to you. I promised it a loving environment! =)
Terri - I managed to fight it off, it was just everything else that prevented a new post. =) You know how that goes.
Alex - Hey... right back at ya! =)
Anduin - I've always hoped that I wouldn't be the cause of such scraping sounds. As long as it stays out of sight and never, ever touches me, we should be able to peacefully coexist.
Stacy - With my luck it would chisel through...lol.
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