How now are you gonna bite both hands? BOTH HANDS?!

Sorry, channeling Matthew Good this morning. I'm somewhere between crying and vomiting but it would appear it's my own fault. You know, human interaction and all. If I could just learn to distance myself maybe it would be easier. Yet for some reason I get suckered back into it. Either by other people or by my very own self; traitor!! Haha, sorry I find that kind of funny.

Anyway, this whole feeling ill thing. Yes, it is because of humans and my idiot sensitivity to them. Want to know how sensitive? In the past 7 days I've lost 10 pounds because I can barely eat. Ten. I can drink just fine as long as it has very little substance (think sugar, dairy, etc) so I'm not dehydrated. And this is because I am so stressed that every time I eat even the smallest thing, I get this rolling nausea and my stomach does flips. Thank you human race, for being such a collective dick. And thank you self for being the wussy fool that continues to hold out hope for them despite repeated failings.

For now, I'm going to use it to my advantage. But until I learn how to cope appropriately, I have to get something out of it, right? Remember how I said I'd gained some weight back from the previous knee surgery? Well, it's going! I'll just use it to my advantage. Not really the way to go, but at least I'm not sticking my finger down my throat, shoving a laxative suppository up my arse or ingesting tapeworms. Although it is unhealthier than any of those, truth be told. But hey, stress is free after all. Gotta love that. It's at least 50% from my job so the stress won't be going away soon.

Some people don't 'get' stress. Some don't care. Some lack the ability to understand. I seem to have no option. My body goes along with what my mind tells to do. Damn bully. ;)


How now are we back here tonight?
That's all there is, roll the dice. ~ Matthew Good, Double Life

Have a listen to the link. Matt always helps. He is my rock.
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