Izth Yuwr Thunng Thuzzy Thoo?

Some people spend their time on Sundays becoming one with sports or yard work. Not this LiVEwiRE... no, I opted for package D. That would be the package marked 'D' for Drug Side Effects. Holy shit and then some! Here's a quick rundown; feel free to laugh at my expense.

Friday night I started a new med... seemed fairly harmless. Ok through Saturday and into Sunday. The second half of Sunday was finding me a little uncoordinated... well, more than usual. Tried to drive to get Chinese take-out and found that someone had mysteriously replaced my power brakes with the non-power variety; you know, the ones you have to stand on to get the car to stop? Without warning, my car would rocket to ridiculously high speeds (such as 25MPH), leaving me to draw on my lightning fast reflexes (that are not there on a good day) to avoid crashing into fast moving objects that were darting out in front of me. These being mailboxes and traffic signs. I also believe that Sunday afternoon marked a new path in our relationship with the sun... no amount of protective eyewear was able to withstand the endless barage of these powerful rays leaving my retinas to whimper as the searing began. The remainder of the day went as such until I finally gave in and simply went to bed thinking it was just an 'off' afternoon.

Enter Monday morning. I can't see. Well, I can see, but it's constantly shifting and my ability to focus has gone. I'm quite sure that if I look in the mirror my tongue will be fuzzy and my lips will be vibrating visibly. My limbs are on strike and have each come to their own conclusion on how best to handle the matter; however, I'd like for them to come to an accord for a few moments... just long enough for me to pee as I've been sucking up water like a sponge. Uncoordinated barely covers it. This was one time in my life that I was glad to be a girl and that I had to sit to pee. Otherwise, there would be a lovely pattern of urine all over my wall, floor, fixtures, etc. It took a bit to figure it all out (oh yes, I'm a genius) but these are all side effects from my new med. I look and sound like I'm drunk. So here's the major drawback....

I had to go to work. I had to swallow my pride and have someone drive me there and pick me up. I hate having to depend on someone and I do not do it well. While at work, I walked like half of my body was aleep and talked like half my brain was asleep. During the few times where I passed visitors in the hospital, I said 'hi' (as I always do), but this time, this time was different. I felt like I looked and sounded like a crack hallucination combination of a second-rate drunken court jester and Neil Young. This is not a feeling I wish to emulate... ever.

So here I am, I made it home; still slurring and struggling like hell to see this monitor. I would hope that I'd wake up tomorrow and feel better, but I'm not counting on it. I'm not taking a defeatist attitude - this drug simply has a long half-life. What does this mean to me? It means that I have approximately 65 hours from my last dose until the drug is 1/2 way out of my system. Well how much more fun can a girl hope for? Anyone wanna come over and taunt me? Maybe spin me in circles? Show me optical illusions? And I get to go to work tomorrow, too - but driving is all up to me.

Moral of the story: Pay close attention to your meds. Even if you are given a 'normal' dose remember that you may react differently. Most importantly... don't ask anyone to feel your tongue just because it feels fuzzy to you.