Yes, I too often wonder what in the hell I'm talking about. Here's the scoop. Lost a filling, went to the dentist to get it replaced, easy right? Heh... "easy"; funny concept. I learned that because of the fact that I grind my teeth so intensely and have, well, basically since I've had teeth, that I pulverized the once cozy filling and cracked the back of the same tooth.
Here's a few fun facts:
- I did this within a month; that's when I had my cleaning and exam - a month ago.
- I am wearing through enamel and into the dentin which means that one day I'm going to look like one of those little old tribal elders in National Geographic that sits on a log gnawing on bone, hide and rock. Nice.
- Due to the incredible force my jaws are capable of exerting I can no longer utilize the fillings most humans use. I must use gold. That's right, the 'big Au' itself. After my dental insurance pays, I'll still owe between $350 and $400. For one single filling.
- I may never again be able to have regular fillings and therefore have to look forward to the possibility of getting mugged for the inner workings of my teeth. Hoo-friggin-rah!
This really is kind of laughable. I don't spend that amount of money on myself for much of anything let alone one single filling. I asked my dentist if he could just melt down an old ring I have and cram it in there. He was not amused. The way I see it, I have a plan to take care of this expense and any related future expenses. Since I have jaws that are able to produce somewhere over 78 million ppsi, I'm slipping coal in there tonight... I should wake up with diamonds if my calculations are correct. I didn't tell him this idea either. Sheesh, I'm getting crunk teeth and he's not amused? Pffft...
Here's another little fun thought... I was joking with a friend about my activity du jour having something to do with sauntering naked through the streets. (Note to self: never, ever say things like that, even in jest...) On my way out to the mailbox, my shorts almost fell. And I mean almost fell off. As I walked closer to the road, I could feel them sort of sliding down but I didn't really do anything about it. No, I'm not stupid... common sense would dictate that one would select that as the opportune moment to pull them up. I suppose I didn't realize how big they were on me since I've lost weight until they almost ensnared my unsuspecting feet! I think I was simply in awe that some article of clothing had made it over my curvy hips and (not-quite-as) ample behind without any assistance!!! So there was surprise, shock, and a damn fine recovery... caught 'em just before I was about to share the goods with the world. Alarmed viewers would've been forced to poke out their mind's eye.
One final thing... I got a present today! Yay! It was completely unexpected. A friend that I used to work with sent me "a little care package" as she called it. She sent me several gifts from her vacation in Mexico (tee, tote, bracelet), a makeup bag filled with Lancome and Chanel makeup (perhaps she's trying to give me a hint?), several items for my house and a couple other 'girly' things. There's tons of stuff and I'm the only one who really cares to know what it all is, but you get the idea. It's kind of funny really, I put up such a fuss if someone wants to give me/buy me something or even if they just want to do something nice for me. Somehow this silly blonde friend has managed to find a way to fly under the radar. Maybe she knows that this method is easier than fighting with me over the topic! Know what? It made me feel so special today and I only protested a few times (to no one in particular) about the gift so that must mean that I was actually willing to accept it! I'm so grateful that she is my friend and that she seems to have this way of knowing when I need a little pick-me-up the most. If you've read this far, go do something nice for a friend. Or a stranger for that matter. There is always a reason for someone to be deserving.
12 comments:
Thar's gold in them thar jaws. I would be particularly ironic if someone clonked you over the head with a pan to rob you of your expensive dentition. You're going to have to take out insurance on your teeth - a bit like a supermodel.
Ask your dentist if you couldn't use whatever it's called that you slip on your teeth at night and it "cushions" the grinding (we call them gutters in French, but somehow I doubt that's it in English. Cast?).
And I did lose a skirt once, on the street, outside a café.
Oh the joys of fillings! Good luck with your gold ones, I have to go get some cavities filled soon as well. And my enamel is wearing thin too- weee! So we can BOTH look like tribal elders. But hey, it must feel great to have your pants falling off because of weight loss!
Sucks about your filling...I loathe my dentist. Well, actually, she's pretty cool, I just hate what she does to my mouth, you know? (I did catch her one day in our local grocery store buying like two pounds of chocolate candy and we had a good laugh about it.)
Nice that you got some goodies...it's ALWAYS nice to get those unexpected gifts! :)
I actually know a few ppl with gold fillings... but it is for mere decorative reasons.
Can't say I fancy the idea. It will be like having a slice of sunshine in your mouth all the time. I am not the light-up-the-room-and-spread-the-warmth-around variety. A gold tooth/filling could make people believe one is... hehehe.
How about LUCY GOLDNUGGET as a pirate name?
Good luck LW - I am rootin' for you.
i started to post this and blogger ground it to bits ... hahahahha
i relate. teeth grinding. tooth 14. two fillings, two root canals, two crowns. two years of treatment. actual retail price after insurance: about two grand.
also i suffer from frequent thong failure. it's always amusing when one feels the familiar WHOOSH!
i would love to send you a care package, your writing always resonates so meaningfully for me.
I hate the dentist. I went for a root canal awhile back, like a year or so, only cause I was in sooo much pain. After the root canal, which with my insurance cost me like $400.00, he told me I had to come back to get a cap put over it, which was going to cost me a couple hundred more. Well, I never went back, my tooth didn't hurt anymore, so I figured I could live without the cap. Probably not a wise move, but I wasn't paying almost a thousand dollars for one tooth.
Good news about your pants almost falling off....eh, you know what I mean.
Ky - It would seem that my dentition is the only robable (NOT even a word) item on me. The idea of any comparison between me and a supermodel makes me laugh... thanks, I needed that!
Anne - Sad part is that I have one. Chewed through one already. Some of the grinding is apparently from waking hours as well. (I'm thorough, what can I say.) Hey, nice to meet a fellow flasher! I'm guessing you made many new friends that day...
Hans - You'll still be the cooler elder; you'll have a sword. And it was a good feeling - just wish that 'feeling' didn't include the breeze in places that should remain breezeless.
eKapa - You were the first to think of it, so the gold goes to you!
Valhalla - I just like getting you to use the word 'avast'. =)
Stacy - I would love to find my dentist with a ton of chocolate and gummi bears or something! And they were 'girly' goodies, that made it a real treat.
Chitty - Yeah, I'd rather avoid the Lil' Jon crunk look (okaaay!). I'm not sure if anyone would believe the ray of sunshine thing with me. Perhaps a flash of lightning from my stormy interior, but that's about it! And I like my pirate name... promise to call me that at least once, k? (Of course I'll have forgotten by then and try to have you committed...)
Teufel - Honestly, when you said 'what hurts more, the tooth or the wallet'... that really put it in perspective! If I see you I'll flash you a bright golden smile! =) And thanks for the good wishes!
Annebrev - If I keep up this way, I might be making an appt! I had something similar (more like a retainer) made out of acrylic, I think. Managed to chip 2 teeth on it years ago (fixed now) due to still having too much movement allowed. Maybe I'll look into the new version of it; thanks!
Heidi - You like my 'crunk teef' =)? It is insanely expensive. And this 'gold' thing is worse. Oh well, beats the 'tribal elder' look, too. My amazement with the shorts even moving was what delayed my reaction but trust me, it still would have traumatic for all involved. Well, I had a present waiting, so perhaps easier on me!
Jenn - Learning that makes my path clear. I shall do you all proud in my new attempts at piratism. I'm just using all sorts of made up words today, aren't I? That's not a real word, is it?!
Justrose - 'Actual Retail Price' isn't that Bob Barker's line? But I doubt he's ever said 'ground it to bits' during comments regarding bruxism! =) If I'm not mistaken, thong failure can be fatal if not detected early! Maybe not fatal, but it could hit your eye. And thank you so much for the compliment you tucked so nicely in there; that really means alot.
JohnH - Isn't that the truth! They give you all sorts of crazy prices only to lay it on you later that you need a crown for $650! I'd say to keep an eye on the tooth and at the first sign of a problem, get the crown! Its alot but it beats the hell out of them pulling the tooth in the end after going through all that. And John, it almost sounds as if you are pleased about me dropping my pants...lol. Sorry, couldn't resist.
The shorts made me laugh.
I woke on Sunday after much beer on Saturday night to find the dog in the garden (good job it was hot) and. more alarmingly, a trail of clothing stretching from my front door down the road for around half a mile.
I had obviously thought it would be a good idea to run back from the bar naked.
Wish I could remember.
No more impromptu nights out for John methinks ;)
Well at least you would have a golden smile! Sorry, couldn't resist. I also hate the dentist, and avoid them like I would avoid a kick to the groin from a woman wearing high heels. Well, maybe I don't hate the dentist that much, but you get the idea.
Glad to hear about the looseness of your shorts. In weightloss terms I mean.
Glad about the presents, you are certainly worthy off them. I would send people presents, but most of the people I would most like to send them to are people I know over the internet.
John - Glad to be able to make you laugh with the shorts comment. You however, have gone above and beyond with your tale of public streaking! Thank you for the giggle... and I do hope you had a good time. Even if you can't remember.
Motormouth - I agree, I'd be more wary of those high heels! You know, I know a few people 'here' that I'd love to send a little gift to, just because they are such nice people. Of course, then I'd be completely penniless and have to sell the gold filling for cash... =)
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