So between last night and today I've found out very interesting things. As you know I contacted my half-sister. That still fucks with my head. Anyway. I knew my father's mother committed suicide, as did my father. Now I learn that my half-brother died three years ago from a self inflicted gunshot wound to the head.
Now, add this to it... keep in mind I brought nothing up - this was all her. She is bipolar, our brother was bipolar, my father's mother was bipolar and halfsie suspects that our father was as well. Now, how weird is it to say that I feel some relief at hearing that? I felt something lift. There is finally proof that I'm not choosing to be fucked up - it would seem that there is a strong genetic predisposition.
I just had to say that. However the three generations bipolar/three generations suicide ratio is a little unsettling. But here's the thing - halfsie is the only one who ever was medicated for bipolar. That right there might explain the suicide. Whew. Lots to take in. Off to tell her now that I'm bipolar as well, she doesn't even know yet.
4 comments:
*hugs you lots*
Whatever you are, i like you
S.xxx
Sx - Aww, thanks hon! It's been kind of hard lately to tell just what is going on with me but the hugs are sure to help.
xoxoxo
Wow. That is quite a revelation. Oddly enough I am reasonably well-acquainted with someone who is also bipolar, as is his sister, as was their father, as was their father's mother.
So yeah, there is definitely something in the genes. I would also feel relief, in your shoes.
xxx
Terri - It really does provide some sort of relief. I suppose I could never answer questions as to where/how/why I ended up bipolar so it made me feel less, somehow. Maybe like if there was no actual explanation, that I really wasn't. Sometimes I felt very defensive, although I rarely let that show. This just shows me that the answer was there all along, I just didn't know it. =)
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