Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Ugly

This was sent to me many months ago and I'd like to post it here. This isn't something I wrote but something I read from time to time and, of course, I end up crying. There is nothing else I could say right now that would have anywhere near the meaning that this has...

Ugly

Everyone in the apartment complex I lived in knew who Ugly was. Ugly was the resident tomcat. Ugly loved three things in this world: fighting, eating garbage, and shall we say, love. The combination of these things combined with a life spent outside had their effect on Ugly.
To start with, he had only one eye, and where the other should have been was a gaping hole. He was also missing his ear on the same side, his left foot appeared to have been badly broken at one time, and had healed at an unnatural angle, making him look like he was always turning the corner. His tail has long since been lost, leaving only the smallest stub, which he would constantly jerk and twitch. Ugly would have been a dark gray tabby striped-type, except for the sores covering his head, neck, even his shoulders with thick, yellowing scabs. Every time someone saw Ugly there was the same reaction. "That's one ugly cat!"


All the children were warned not to touch him, the adults threw rocks at him, hosed him down, squirted him when he tried to come in their homes, or shut his paws in the door when he would not leave. Ugly always had the same reaction. If you turned the hose on him, he would stand there, getting soaked until you gave up and quit. If you threw things at him, he would curl his lanky body around your feet in forgiveness. Whenever he spied children, he would come running meowing frantically and bump his head against their hands, begging for their love. If you ever picked him up he would immediately begin suckling on your shirt, earrings, whatever he could find.

One day Ugly shared his love with the neighbor's huskies. They did not respond kindly, and Ugly was badly mauled. From my apartment I could hear his screams, and I tried to rush to his aid. By the time I got to where he was laying, it was apparent Ugly's sad life was almost at an end. Ugly lay in a wet circle, his back legs and lower back twisted grossly out of shape, a gaping tear in the white strip of fur that ran down his front.

As I picked him up and tried to carry him home I could hear him wheezing and gasping, and could feel him struggling. I must be hurting him terribly I thought. Then I felt a familiar tugging, sucking sensation on my ear- Ugly, in so much pain, suffering and obviously dying was trying to suckle my ear. I pulled him closer to me, and he bumped the palm of my hand with his head, then he turned his one golden eye towards me, and I could hear the distinct sound of purring. Even in the greatest pain, that ugly battled-scarred cat was asking only for a little affection, perhaps some compassion.

At that moment I thought Ugly was the most beautiful, loving creature I had ever seen. Never once did he try to bite or scratch me, or even try to get away from me, or struggle in any way. Ugly just looked up at me completely trusting in me to relieve his pain. Ugly died in my arms before I could get inside, but I sat and held him for a long time afterwards, thinking about how one scarred, deformed little stray could so alter my opinion about what it means to have true pureness of spirit, to love so totally and truly. Ugly taught me more about giving and compassion than a thousand books, lectures, or talk show specials ever could, and for that I will always be thankful.

He had been scarred on the outside, but I was scarred on the inside, and it was time for me to move on and learn to love truly and deeply. To give my total to those I cared for. Many people want to be richer, more successful, well liked, or beautiful, but for me, I will always try to be "Ugly".

Author Unknown

9 comments:

{illyria} said...

i didn't know what to expect, but this left me heartbroken and wondering how many others are in badly need of our compassion, our love. thanks for sharing this. xx.

anne said...

Oh, geez, Live. Thanks for making me cry!

Hmpf.

It's beautiful, though.

I hope you're ok.

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Damn...I hate crying while I'm at work...it's so hard to hide.

That was an amazingly beautiful and sad story.

Tigress said...

a good prupose for my weekend? I wan to be "ugly" too :)
And thanks for being so nice and "stopping by". . .I am just too busy to write anything really :)
Hope things are moving in the right direction (if there is ever a RIGHT direction!) for U again :)

LiVEwiRe said...

For those of you that have commented, thank you. This was a tough post to read and by speaking up, it shows without a doubt that you're all a little 'Ugly'. And that, my friends, is the highest of compliments!

illyria - It's so easy for all of us to criticize or focus on the rotten things. This was to make us think about things a little differently. To show what a little effort on our part might accomplish. xoxo

Anne - I know, I'm awful. I'd received this many months ago but had to put it aside until I could take it all in. As far as being ok, jury is still out.

Stacy - I made you cry at work; I really am rotten. Just like I said to Anne, I had to wait until I could reread/post this because it makes my mind go places I don't want it to, but has to.

Tigress - Hi there girlie! I know you are busy, just wanted you to know I didn't forget about you when there wasn't a post. Hope you're all settled and things are taking hold for my favorite Tiger family!

Meadow said...

You know ... I've read this before but had forgotten about it. It truly is a beautiful story with a great lesson. Thanks for sharing this with us.

Ginger Doll said...

That was devastating, but the one spark of joy in that was the fact that Ugly didn't die alone. He knew that someone was with him and wanted to give him care. That that person took so much from such a sad episode is testiment to both their spirit and that of the little cat.

It also caught me because I call my smaller, older dog 'Ugly' in an affectionate manner, if there is such a thing. She's got warts, rotten teeth and a bad attitude, but she adores me. And I should value it more.

kitty said...

when you posted this I had a cold... I KNEW it was gonna make me cry and I was reluctant to read it because my head was already full of snot and I certainly didn't need to add to my sinus issues

but of course I read it anyway - I think it caused me to take a whole extra day to get well but it was worth it

LiVEwiRe said...

Meadow - It really is something to reflect on and hopefully learn from. Hard to take in many ways, but so many of life's worthwhile lessons are.

Ginger Doll - That's what I think of; that he wasn't alone and that he hadn't let years of torment dull the love and trust he had left. Animals can teach us so much if we'd only get off our 'top of the food chain' pedestal.

Kitty - Ah, I know what you mean about the crying and the snottiness; it's like backed up plumbing in your head. I'm realllly sorry this extended your illness - I know how I cried when I first read it and I wans't even sick; it had me stuffy and congested all day. But through it all, I think most people that read it are moved by it and hopefully learn from it. Even those in the throes of an upper respiratory meltdowm. Hope you're feeling better! =)