Life is a strange thing, don't you think? Because I do. And I mean, that's all that really matters. Not smug, I mean that should be all that really matters to any of us - our own personal perceptions. It's funny how that shifts from moment to moment. What was once important isn't even worth being retained in the old memory bank any longer. Then there are those things that come at you from left field and shatter every appropriate response you've ever held. Often I really like those things. Those are the things that bump the less important items off the chart and restructure what is there. Interestingly, these things don't have to be of epic magnitude. Sometimes the most subtle ones have the greatest impact. Perhaps it is all about seeing, really seeing what is in front of you whether you understand it or not. There are reasons that we forget things even though I believe it's all still there somewhere. Like a simple passage in a giant tome on a bottom shelf in the basement of the Library of Congress. Just because it is out of immediate circulation does not mean it has ceased to exist.
Meet my friend who has taught me some new ways of looking at things...he's become a sort of sidekick lately. He accompanied me to Buffalo when I went to see Matthew Good the other night. I didn't really know if he'd be going or not and to be honest, I never knew when he'd just plain disappear on me because Alfred really isn't one for talking. But he came along and other than a few short stints playing 'hang glider' it was nice to have him along. I've taken to telling him he's a 'good little puppy' which is entirely ridiculous because he's not a dog. So we made it to Buffalo and back. I think that's actually as far as he's ever gone in his life. My friend Erica was there, too, but she's been on longer trips so I don't think she was overly excited about Alfred doing a roundtrip to Buffalo. After I came back to my mom's last night, I said good night to Alfred but made him promise to smile for just one picture by my car - symbolizing his great adventure.
He may not be a big talker but I've really learned alot from this guy. When the time comes that he spins that final line and jumps for it, I'm assuming my reaction will be similar to the Wiiiillssoooon moment in Castaway.
I'm a window...
come break in.
15 comments:
He's a very attractive companion (but, um, might be a she? Oh, does it matter?)
The small moments are sometimes the best. Early this morning, before dawn, I had to take my feeble old dog (one of two now, my dear Mai is dead) out for a walk. Moon in the sky with a planet--Venus? maybe. Beautiful.
Once the sun came up, blackbirds and goldfinches in the vacant lot.
I completely agree with your first paragraph. I'm feeling pretty unwordful at the moment - having a tough time expressing myself - but man do I ever agree with what you said there.
Also - spider! I love spiders. That's a pretty one.
I'm all for small moments. They tend to fit into my head better.
Thinking good thoughts for you, Live. One day maybe we should meet - you and I seem so much alike at times.
i absolutely loved this post. very profound.
Ditto what Kate said. Seriously, I was going to say the same thing. She beat me to it.
EEK!!
profound of not that spider is freaking me out!!
You have to forgive me my profound lack of profoundness but OMG!!! You live across a great big salty cold pond and yet we have IDENTICAL WING MIRROR SPIDERS!!!!
Mine windsurf as well. Its amazing how much entertainment they can be.
GD/xx
Jarvenpa - I was thinking Alfreda but I like Alpharetta better in that case. Unfortunately, Alfred took the big leap yesterday and I just felt sick. For disliking spiders I'm really missing him. Her. Your morning sounds wonderful, with the exception of not having Mai around as well. We can still find some peace in the places we least think of at times.
Anne - Hmm, 'unwordful' - I kind of like that. We all get that way. There are many times I'm
'unwordful' yet I still manage to spew forth some sort of crap in daily conversations and I'm sure the other person is wishing I'd loose the ability to speak. There are zillions (ok, maybe a bit less) of 'Alfreds' by my house and they have these great striped legs. They build webs with a quickness and only the really cranky ones rear back (think tarantula). Rather laid back for spiders which is perhaps why Alfred was good for me. =) Yes, we should meet sometime; it might be like meeting a long, lost twin!
Kate & Meadow74 - Every now and then I clear enough crap out of the way to come across together enough to not sound like a lunatic. This may have been one of those times. When somethng makes me go into thinking mode, I have to pass it on. Thanks guys. =)
Kitty - Hey! Kitties aren't supposed to be afraid of spiders damn it!!! Ok, well, they aren't high on my list {shudder} but he was kinda special. I mean, he hung on from Cleveland to Buffalo and back; gotta give him credit for being a tenacious little bugger. Tenacious but clumsy. Or suicidal... he fell off my car on route 20 going about 50mph yesterday. *sigh*
Ginger Doll - Do you have tons of them this time of year, too? I've never looked into what kind thay are because as much as I think spiders are exceptionally cool (they are), they freak me out to no end and give me a case of the willies like nobody's business. These guys (whatever sort they are) seem to be laid back and don't do much. I like that in a spider. And they adore hiding in the mirror and coming out from time to time! Of course this means I refuse to drive with my window down more than 2 inches because I'm convinced they'll fly in and touch me ending up in me swerving and crashing in a fiery heap with the spider crawling away unscathed. I'm amused by the fact that we have matching spiders. If one looks particularly photogenic you should get a pic!
They inhabit my garden as well as my wing mirrors. In particular, they swing across the narrow part between the clematis and the washing line hook, and colonise the whole breadth of the yard. This is a mistake because then my bigger dog tries to eat them (although I think they could do her serious damage if she tried). Will try and get a pic, but they're all hiding from the torrential rain we've got right now.
I just would have been scared he would blow off INTO the car... possibly onto ME!!
then I might have a stroke or heart attack or FREAK OUT and drive into a truck
the spiders are after me!! if they can't kill me with their venom they'll find another way
haaa I just read your comment to ginger doll ~ so I see now that you get it hehehe
and tis the season for spider invasions!! although I think it's been slightly delayed due to the freakishly warm weather we've been having - but generally October is the month that all the big hairy spiders come inside looking for a warm place to incubate their egg sacks for the winter
trust me you do NOT want (for example) a wolf spider egg sack to hatch inside your home!! that happened to me a couple years ago (you may remember) it was a NIGHTMARE!!
once they leave their mommy they scatter and apparently like to crawl on humans in the night - although all the pro-spider propaganda you'll read says they are harmless and would rather not come in contact with humans - they seem to be evolving into a much bolder creature!! I was finding 3 or 4 on me a night... crawling on my arms and legs - and I was killing at least 5 a day throughout my house
at first they were kinda cute because they were tiny but they grow quickly into rather large hairy beasts which I've seen lurk in the corners and literally leap out to attack their prey!!
they are quick and agile and apparently fearless
BEWARE!!
p.s. Alfred was not a wolf spider - he looks more like maybe a garden spider... which actually get to be pretty big!! but they make AWESOME webs!! I think I might have a picture of one in my myspace pics
I'm having flashbacks to reading Charlotte's Web back in grade school.
Nice picture - Ben O.
ben o.
charlotte was a nice spider with good intentions (fictional)
not like the real thing at all which seek to devour us in our sleep and or make nests in our ears and nostrils!!
Ginger Doll - I can see how these may appeal to dogs. Then again, dogs eat poop. They are strung about all over the yard, on flowers, shrubs, trees, everything. Some of them are really big but I don't see these guys in the house, which is perhaps one reason I'm not panicky.
Kitty - Oh yes, I'm convinced that they sit and ponder options to bring about my early demise only after a hefty round of torturous headgames. In all actuality the poor things are probably sleeping, dreaming about juicy bugs. Do you remember the post about the spider that took a ride with me and I thought I was going to wreck my car? If I can find it I should email it to you! I saw (and accidentally {gulp} touched) a wolf spider once and that was precisely one too many times. If it got in my house I'd just friggin move. I mean, I'd never sleep again. Plus I'd be in therapy for years. Peculiar though, I don't kill them. I rig a hillbilly-like apparatus and toss them outside. It's not their fault I hate them. I know they exist, just as long as I don't see or feel them. Hey, kind of like Republicans...haha! I do miss Alfred, though. I know that's weird, but I do!
Ben O - Ahh, now I'm being haunted by Paul Lynd's voice! Wasn't he the rat in CW? I really liked him. I think Charlotte is the only spider that I don't have a fear of. Perhaps because she's a cartoon...
Kitty - Did I ever tell you about the time I thought I'd cure my phobia by HOLDING a tarantula? Uh, it didn't work and I have about 60 gray hairs from the event.
well I don't know what OTHER spiders are up to at night - but wolf spiders are definitely nocturnal!! AND they hunt!! - unlike Alfred's type which hang out in a web and wait for their prey
and believe me moving has most definitely come up!! especially that spring when the nest of baby wolf spiders hatched in my bedroom
and to tell ya the truth, killing them is something that bothers me a lot... BUT they are fast as lightening so catching them and sending them back outside isn't really an option - although if I could trust them to NOT crawl ON ME I would probably leave them alone
I have other spiders in my house that don't mess with me so I don't mess with them... we manage to live together in harmony - but those wolf spiders - well... it's them or me and it ain't gonna be me!!
you HELD a tarantula??? and you thought that would help??!! I can't even stand walking past them at the pet store!! seriously!! just looking at pictures of spiders freaks me out
and coming here today and talking about them has given me the heebie jeebies all day!!
my best friend is the same way... sometimes one of us will have a particularly creepy spider in the house and we'll have to call and share it with the other... then we both get freaked out and start twitching and shaking off imaginary creepy crawlies haaaa
Kitty - Alfred's type seem calm but those wolf spiders are maniacs. If they were in my room I'd be tempted to sleep with a shop-vac on! yeah, I held someone's blah,blah "Rose" blah, blah specialdeedoodle tarantula. I was in a shop in Sedona, AZ and it was the owners pet. So I asked to hold it thinking it would be my only chance to get over my fear. Well, instinct told me to fling it but I didn't. My bladder told me it was about to release but I managed to not wet myself. In the end, I was surprised to find that it felt like a tiny, mutant 8 legged kitten because the 'fur' was so soft. That being said, I'm surprised I didn't pass out from holding my breath so long.
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