Although I have no idea what I'm going to say (lots of partial thoughts), today was a red letter day in one respect. Remember how I was all worried about my car, well mainly the gas leak, and was considering {gasp} getting a different car? She had her checkup today (headlights to tailpipe) and I instructed them to find every possible thing wrong that they could. They must have been in their glory to hear that phrase! Anyway, turns out the worst is the gas leak, which they instructed me to fix pronto, and a power steering belt. Seriously, the rest of the things they found were not safety issues and it won't be a problem to let them slide for a while. This is exceptionally cool news. The best part about it is that the shop she went to is owned by the people I petsit for (in that gorgeous house with the Ferrari...) and we've known each other for something like eight years. They trust me with their furry 'kids', so I trust them with my car. So, the gas leak will be getting fixed within a week most likely and I will no longer have to be high on gas fumes nor fear a fossil fuel induced version of spontaneous combustion. Long live Chez Camry!!!
Also, today was my supervisor's last day. Next Friday, our acting Director leaves. Everyone was in shock, but I knew because both had talked to me about their respective resignations. Funny thing... we are slated to lose another Pharmacist in a month. He told the acting Director (that is leaving in a week) and other than her, I'm the only one who knows. Apparently I come across as someone who can keep their mouth shut when it really counts; which I am. Well, barring this blabbing on the internet portion of it... He will be one of the people I miss, but by my calculations, I won't be there much longer after he goes. I'm telling you, it's like rats jumping ship.
Today is my Gram's 85th birthday... and I won't be there. I don't like that one bit. I'll call her, of course, but it's just not the same. I'm realizing how hard it is to be away from them especially at times like these. Don't get me wrong... if I were there, I'm certain we'd all annoy the hell out of one another, but it's such a strange feeling. I would always do silly things for her birthday like buy her tons of those instant lottery tickets and hide them around the house so when she picked up the phone, there was a ticket. Time for the Efferdent? Ticket. Toilet paper a bit scratchy? Yeah, ok, so that wasn't one of the better places to hide one, but you get the idea. None of us know how much time we have left, but age, by default, tends to make us focus on that. So, if I could tell her something now, what would it be? Hmmm.... let's try this.
'Happy Birthday' hardly seems enough on this special day. This day represents so much to me even though I know you aren't big into the celebration end of it. This day also represents a part of my life and my own birth in a way. I've always felt you were more of a parent to me than anything else. You never turned your back when I needed anything and took me in, often raising me as your own. To this day I hear when you slip and call Grandpa my 'dad' or 'father'. He was as much that as you are like a mother to me. You always try to catch yourself but I never correct you. There is nothing to correct. Being away from you is difficult, even though we are very different people. Even with our differences, I've never doubted the love you have for me and hope you know just how much you truly mean to me. You have molded my life in more ways than you can imagine. Thank you for making chances and opportunities for me where none had previously existed. I have no doubt that without you (and before, my Grandpa) my life would have taken a tragic turn long, long ago. So your birthday is truly a thing to celebrate for all that you have done. This was the day that you came into the world and many years later managed to keep me from fading out of it. Even when we make each other mad, I know that we have a bond that will never be broken. So Happy Birthday Gram, I love you and I will see you very soon. I really miss not being there with you now.
Yeah, it would go something like that. It bothers me to not be there. I feel like I'm letting her down or something. Which may be all in my head, but hey, at least I'm concerned. I'm still adjusting to not being around my family.
Then again, as things go, I may be around them again in a few months. Now that Chez Camry will be up and about (and hopefully not exploding) and I'm applying for jobs... who knows?
And with that, I'm outta here. I need sleep.
9 comments:
Happy Birthday to your Gram. And you have a great day too.
Happy Birthday Gram indeed!
how i do love car trouble, mines burning oil. apparently this is a bad thing.
Anne - I will be sure to pass along the birthday wishes, thanks. =)
Prisoner - And Gram gets more birthday wishes from across the pond! Oh, and let's not you and I drive along anywhere together; we might make those behind our cars pass out from the combo of fumes!
Beelze - Not to be sad, she knows. Maybe the busy signal is her way of a practical joke... =) Gram will love all these 'HBs'!
Family...sometimes you can't live with them, but it sure sucks when they're not around when you want them there. I didnt think I'd miss my parents that much when they moved up to Tennessee, but sometimes on my day off I'll think I should drive over and see them and than realize that they're not thirty minutes away anymore. Your Granma sounds like a wonderful person, wish her happy birthday for me.
Life would not be life without your gran. I loved my gran to bits she was also like a second mother to me and my best friend. This year she will be gone 9 years. I miss her so much.
Happy birthday Gran.
"And now with the added 'non-exploding' feature!" I can't believe the vehicle marketers haven't jumped on that one yet.
you know what's funny? seems to me that "Happy Birthday Gram, I love you" says all of that and she probably knows it too.
so does "but by my calculations, I won't be there much longer after he goes" mean that you've found an escape route?
Don't just love that feeling of relief when you find out that the car problem you're having isn't all that bad? Double the fun too if you know that you can trust the car shop. :-)
And I concur with mysfit: she knows. After all, she was a great mum to you. ;-)
JohnH - Yep, you know what I'm talking about. Even when you drive each other nuts, you still love them. Thanks for the HB!
Whatalotoffun - I'm sure you miss her and cherish all the time you had with her. We are both lucky to have had that sort of experience. I'll extend the HB.
Kyknoord - Now that we've mentioned it, it'll probably be the hot item on the latest models.
Mysfit - I think she does know it, although she isn't one to really 'say' things; it's in her actions. No escape route yet, things are just in a fast decline (one gave notice last night, too!) so the wheels in my head are turning even faster.
Banzai - Oh yes! I was more than happy to hear about the car. Usually it's the other way around, isn't it? Hope your car is on the mend as well. =)
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