So this morning on the radio, I hear this story about a woman who went to pick up a weekly lunch order for her office and was killed. She was shot in the head by a stray bullet while she sat at the drive thru. What happened, you ask? Two males, ages 17 and 18, were in a gang related fight over who-knows-what. One fired, the bullet went over 40 yards, across a four lane road, between signs, through her windshield and right into her head to eventually kill her. As she sat at the drive thru. I think it's just so amazing that so many people try to live their lives in order to, well, preserve it. Yet, no matter what, when your number is up, it's up. No arguing. Not that I advocate playing on the highway blindfolded during rush hour or anything. Or swimming in shark infested waters in a sirloin wetsuit. But sometimes these stories of either being in the right place at the right time (and surviving) or, such as this, being in the wrong place at the wrong time (and not...) really have an impact. Truly, what are the odds?
As sick as it sounds, I like to hear these stories. Why, you ask? No, I'm not a sicko. Well, at least not in that sense. It simply reminds me how quickly life can change; good or bad. That's where the title for this very blog came from. Sometimes, it really doesn't matter one damn bit what you do. When things are ready to change, they will - and there isn't one thing you can do to alter that. Think about the situation above; all circumstantial. Had nothing at all to do with her, yet in the blink of an eye, so many lives changed. No one ever sees it coming. The best we can do is live life. Period.
So this brings me to the end of my little pondering thing here. Who would care if something happened to you? And in what might be either your last moments, or a crisis time, who would you think about? Who would your mind and heart immediately seek out? Don't misunderstand, this isn't about being sad or seeking confirmation or anything like that. I pose that as a rhetorical question. I mean, we'd pretty obviously think of family or other loved ones, but does it extend further? For instance... would you want say, fellow Bloggers to know if something happened? Would you silently wish you told the cashier that always packs your groceries so well that you were consistently pleased with her efficiency? Do you think they'd notice your absence? If they did, do you think they'd care? Often, I think we might get some surprising answers.
Every now and then I get on one of these kicks and can't help but to, uh, ponder. Better for me to do it here than to keep it in my head and give myself one more reason to lose sleep at night...
Now stop reading this and go out and live your life.
14 comments:
because i'm anxiety central, i find thoughts like these swirl often through my mind. i'm not fond of "live each day like it's your last" (cause if it WERE my last day, and i knew, i wouldn't be sitting here cleaning up cat puke) but it's part of the paradox that i'm not sure any of us can figure out while we dwell this side of eternity. comforting and/or perplexing and/or terrifying, depending on the day. a thought provoking post as always!
But do we ever really live life the way we really wish we did? Whether the end is nigh or we've a good long half-century ahead, we'll keep on ploughing, won't we?
I think about sudden death when I watch my parents, my niece, when I walk down steep stairs, at odd moments..., and it's mentally paralysing. And if I do tumble to my death, I hope people are sad a bit (egotistic blogger), but go on about their life quickly, because in the end, nobody's going to do their living for them.
Such a disjointed comment. Sorry.
Jenn - A 'sequence of moments' is such a great way to put it. You know, even if we could manage to get a heads up on what was coming our way next, I still question whether we'd understand. Humans are weird that way.
Greg - That's exactly it; you never know. Only thing is if I live each day like it's the last I'd possibly get arrested, and then where would that leave me!? =)
Rose - lol... yeah I was cleaning the litter box - I know what you mean! Sometimes I don't think life is meant for us to 'understand', merely to enjoy to the fullest.
Anne - What I wish for changes constantly; and I'd rather have 10 good years than 40 crummy ones. I know precisely what you mean about the thoughts of sudden death being paralyzing. It's like a cold panic trickles in. You know what I think is such a high compliment when someone dies? To remember something quirky and personal about them. Anyone can be termed 'nice', but it takes someone interesting to be remembered for something like, uh, ok.... here's one. Think back to the movie The Breakfast Club; I want to be thought of for something as goofy as Molly Ringwald's lipstick applying abilities. THAT would put a smile on my face. Well, if I weren't dead...
Beelze - I've wondered where this aura surrounding you comes from. Now I know it was from pissing on the GR's shoes! You make so much sense when you refer to the 'experience' of living here being the important part. And good for you for not letting go of the positive that came along with all the negative. Each day the sunset reminds you and you are smart enough to remember.
This post is totally awesome! It's exactly what I believe.
We have no idea where we're going, so just enjoy the journey called life! It's about all the little experiences (even the bad ones), that add up. It's not bout the money, or what people think bout you. It's bout yourself alone!
Well, I know that the credit card company will miss me. Terribly.
Inspiring post, Livewire!
I'm pretty sure my husband would miss me...my dogs I KNOW would miss me (they'd probably end up starving to death because my husband never feeds them...;)
I sometimes sit and think "What if Lar (my hubby) passed away? I would be SO LOST without him!" It's not that I can't do things for myself (because I can and do), but just his companionship and friendship....he's my BEST FRIEND and has been for around 13 years now. It scares me to think about it...so I try hard not to.
As far as my fellow bloggers? If I ever disappear without a word for more than a week, you guys KNOW something must be up....I can never keep my mouth shut (or fingers still) that long without a damn good reason! :)
Despite my frequent thoughts on death, or taking matters in my own hand, I actually believe that there is an appointed time and, no matter what, you ain't going anywhere till then.
Whish make one wonder about the Grim Reaper ;)
Seriously though, twice during a serious illness, years back, I "died" for several minutes till resucitation brought me coughing and spluttering back.
The first time I don't recall, I was just told that breathing and heart had stopped for some time.
The second time however I had the full "near death experience".
I went from extreme agony and fear to perfect peace, I was floating through a tunnel toward a golden light, warm and happier than I have ever felt, before or since.
Then they pulled me back to the pain and fighting for breath.
Since this time I have had a completely different outlook on death, and life, I know it wasn't my time!
Too true. The bombings in London, or 9/11 are testemant to that, and all the little things like the one you described. You could die at any moment, so there is no point worrying about it. People seem too absorbed in other things sometimes rather than just living and having fun. What else is the point in life? I for one wouldn't want to live on if I was incapable of having a good time(unless of course I had someone that depended on me, a child for instance) too many people forget how to have fun, and that to me is really sad, because at any moment you could die...so live. Now. Thats an order!
Bean - You are SO right... 'even the bad ones'. There was a time in my life when I thought I was going to die and I remember thinking that I was so foolish to complain about the bad things - I wanted to be around to still have the chance to do it. It's a good thing to be reminded of every now and then. =)
Kyknoord - I'd miss you more if you bought me pretty things on said credit card first! =)
Stacy - I know it's kind of alot to take in but I think most people think about it in their own way. There is a good chance your dogs will lern how to use a can opener. And The PKing isn't going anywhere without you... who will help him with his toe... (ew)?
You sound just like me... if too much time went by on here with nothing out of my mouth (fingers)...
John - Yep, when it's your time it's your time. Sometimes that is tough to hear, but I generally think it is very true.
I can't even imagine what your experiences must've been like, but I would definitely figure that nothing was ever the same, for you, your kids... just everything. Must be somewhat disappointing to have to give up such a sense of peace, but I know you have a couple of trade offs.
Motor - An order, eh? Then I'd better get to it! =) You know, it often takes something like the events you mentioned to remind us of the fragile balance. Enjoying it is what it's all about!
Greg - Me? Style? Bwahahaha! Oh. Ahem. Give me a sec to recover. Whew, ok. Honestly, the things I have listed are all honest representations of me. Most often it makes people roll their eyes at me, not commend me for it! =) Thank you very much! Yeah... and I see you tried to slip in that trickiness about Fred Astaire. You know full well it was Bing Crosby! =)haha And Bach... the strings... harpsichord... I'll stop before I throw myself into "Nerdy Blogger Extrordinaire" at warp speed.
You know if I lived everyday as if it was my last the first thing I would do is quit my job and just travel and write and enjoy myself, but the problem would be how to support myself while having all this fun.
I remember watching a program about a similar thing.
Two youths in their back yard were messing around with a .44 Magnum that belonged to the dad of one of the kids.
They were supposed to be shooting cans off a tree stump, but one of them let loose a round through the garden fence.
Meanwhile...
Over a mile a way, some poor old guy sat in a deck chair watching a gala performance in a park got a searing pain in his left side.
He looked down, blood everywhere.
An hour or so later, the poor old bastard was dead...
JohnH - I know, I think of that too. I suppose it's more about a state of mind, not the actual physical changes. Then again, if I knew, I wouldn't have written this, right? =)
Wayne - That is exactly what I'm talking about! What are the chances? When it is your time, it is your time. There will apparently be NO arguing the matter. Great example!
I live in Southern California and lately we've experienced a rash of freeway shootings. Innocent people that were on their way to wherever were shot and killed just like that.
I've been in near accidents in which I knew that if I hadn't avoided it, I would have died. The only thing that went through my head was "Oh shit". I get the shakes after something like that and have to pull over and recover from the experience.
Anduin - Hi, nice to see you! You know, that is another prime example. Something so seemingly random and pften life altering or possibly fatal. I fully understand the need to pull over and recover. When the possible outcomes run through you head, you need that time - like you said, you could have died. Thanks for making such a strong point.
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