My day started with a loooong phone conversation with my mother. By long, I mean it was about 20 minutes shy of 4 hours. In this time we: admitted how unhappy we both are, feel trapped, feel helpless and hopeless and have lost so much faith in ourselves as far as fixing it. (Ok, I just realized that the word helpless has a letter span of lpl... that just looks odd. Ok, as you were...) In effect, we've lost who we are. We did not plan this conversation, it just happened. We've determined that she is much more a 'planner' and I'm much more a 'spur of the moment' kind of gal. Amazingly we could both see each others points of view and didn't yell, scream, speak sarcastically, or antagonize the other. The entire time. I love her dearly and we are close, yet we can be so opposite that it is almost a volatile mix. That's why I am still in awe of our conversation.
Had the pleasure
I got a strange image in my head tonight and I truly don't know where it came from. What if I was dating someone (quit laughing and just play along) and they had really freakish ideas? I mean, not as freakish as being a Republican or anything, but say, he wanted to be linked to me via a collar and leash as we went about our daily activities... like the grocery store. I don't know why I thought that, but I did.
Unsettling dreams have been plaguing me lately. I do not like them, therefore I am consuming beer in an attempt to sedate the little bastards. I know it's not ladylike (and I don't think I've ever referred to myself as such) to like beer, but I do. If I could get the tops off a bottle with my teeth that would be cool. Then again I like my teeth, so maybe not. But if I could do it with my breasts... hey, now that would be a great parlor trick!
Speaking of teeth, I get my crunk on Tuesday... I will officially be Lucy McGoldNuggett! Hey, I'd offer to snap a photo but that would really be rather gross, actually.
In addition, I will be petsitting for 13 days (I think) beginning at the end of the week. I'll be home for 4 days during that time, but beginning to end it's a 13 day span. It's wonderful because I get to stay in this extravagant home, watch movies, relax, read... all those things we never seem to have time to do. Down side is that the bed sucks, I can't drive the Ferrari (yes, they really have one) and they have no computer. I'm quite sure I'll make it but I'll miss checking out all your blogs!
Today as I went to pick up the mail, I realized that there was a good chance I was blinding the drivers with my, hmmm, how should I say this, fair and delicate complexion. Even I looked down in horror. Truthfully, I have no desire whatsoever to be tan. I used to and for a few years (during the summer) I went to the tanning beds. After one full month (minus 2 days), my mom looked at me and said, "Hey, I thought you were going tanning?" It took me 2 1/2 months to even get a base tan. And for those of you that have never tanned, do you have any idea how itchy your, er, upper front quadrant gets when it is exposed to the beds?! Oh - same goes for your ass. But I did like the stand-up beds with the wrist straps...heh heh...
I was propositioned by member of the same sex. Yes, I know her, but it shocked me nonetheless. Considering the fact that we are both straight I was a little surprised. I'm not going to sit here and say what I will or won't do, but it made me realize that I know her too well to even consider it...lol. There was no alcohol involved - this was at work. I think she is wanting to find a relationship that works for her so badly that the lines are blurring, that's all. Honestly, I think it is a compliment if someone lets you know that they are attracted to you, whether it matches your sexual orientation or not. Perhaps I am just such a sweet, sexy thang that no one can resist... Geez. I can't even type that without giggling!
Tomorrow I may try to paint this living room. Well, the ceiling and trim anyway. It still has to be taped off and it is rainy, so hell, it might not even dry! I refuse to move anything. I will throw a sheet or something over the furniture and balance with one foot on the chair and one on the desk, scaling the walls as needed, but I will not move things. This is poor planning for someone with vertigo but hey, it adds a sense of adventure. And my insurance is paid up...
As a last, happy thought... I will have the day to myself tomorrow. *Sigh* Did you hear that sigh of delight? These days are incredibly rare and I cherish them so. I actually want to get up fairly early so I have more alone-time to enjoy. Of course I feel a little guilty reacting like this, but come tomorrow, I will be drinking in every moment. And probably singing off key (loudly) and prancing around half dressed. What could be better! =)
20 comments:
What could be better? Not much, I guess. Although I suppose if some tan, muscular, and half-dressed too, painter were to do the living room for you, it would be nice. Wouldn't it?
i love your posts. i can see the whole day. you are so good at writing precisely what's in your head, and you know, it always gives me hope that someday i'll write precisely what's in my head.
love those conversations with family that go on and on and surprise us.
i gotta go to church, i unfortunately do not have the day to myself. (curses, then seeking repentance)
O my, what a busy head you have! I was intrigued by your comment about the stand-up sunbeds with the wrist straps... especially in light of the "What if I was dating someone ... and he wanted to be linked to me via a collar and leash as we went about our daily activities" thought u had a couple of paragraphs previous to that!
Try camomile tea for the disturbing dreams. I find it sometimes calms my head down a bit if I have a cup before bed.
And lastly, I'm VERY distressed that you may not be able to blog for 13 days. Get a laptop girl!!! And what kind of person owns a Ferrari but not a computer???
Enjoy ur day off :-)
i love it when this happens, i'm forever doing posts when nothing whatsoever connects the little vignettes (did i spell that right?).
You should defintely learn to open bottles with your breasts. hee hee
Anne - I so agree... half-dressed painters are good. Very good. heh - can I pick which half? =)
Rose - Silly girl, you convey your thought quite well!! Besides, writing what is in my head is a big risk - it exposes the fact that there's not much there! =) Loved your curse vs repent....lol!
Terri - Funny thing is that I always used to call those stand up beds the 'bondage beds'. Maybe there is a side of me that I need to explore a little more, eh? I will definitely look into some camomile; it's been ages since I had it. It is distressing on this end to not be able to blog during that time - this is my therapy, ya know? Same with reading blogs! And they do have a computer but it's a laptop and since they own their own business, they take it with them to keep up on things. Thoughtless jerks...lol. I will make sure I get a pic of the Ferrari, though! =)
Prisoner - Yes, I think you did spell that right! One of those odd words that are rarely used so spelling is always questioned. If I ever do learn how to open bottles like that, I'll let you know! =)
I liked it, a post about just anything and everything. Hope you had a good day for yourself. I spent today without steppng a foot outside or talking to anyone. Unfortuantely I have to work tonight, so that sucks, but it was nice not having to do anything but read and try to get some songs into my ipod. Did you get your painting done? It's going to be hard to not read any of your wonderful posts for the next 13 days when you start your petsitting. You should make them get you a computer as part of your deal. They sound like the can afford it.:)
Your posts are so varied! How do you have room in your head for all those thoughts?
I can open a bottle with my teeth, but I never do it because I too like my teeth. It's easy to do, but you risk breaking a tooth every time.
And I don't think there's anything unladylike about drinking beer. However, if you were belching and farting while you drank it, that might be another story ;-).
(sorry, that joke was a bit crass!
:P )
Wow, to be propositioned by the same sex? Well that's quite exciting, even if it isn't your cup of tea. I imagine that has got to be pretty flattering indeed. Anyhow, have fun painting and good job on not moving the furniture- that's precisely what I'd do!
I think someone should point out that retrospective birth control is frowned upon in most societies, so it may as well be me. By the time most people find out precisely how badly they suck as parents, it's waaaay too late.
You will be sorely missed while you are away.
Are you sure you can't drive the Ferrari a little?
Which half will be dressed?
800 litle things... you don't believe in doing things in moderation, do you?
Enjoy the time off... and if you are lucky, you would have reduced the number of little things to 799.
Oh and I want to see a picture of the crunk... no excuses.
Ms. Livewire - since I know you are a big Willy Wonka fan ... I read a review of the movie from Master Yoda.
JohnH - Days of seclusion can be good. Unless they make you go in to work; not so good. Painted nothing - too dark and dreary to have any light. You know, I should ask them for a computer! =) But I'm sure I'll get one or two posts in there somehow!
Jay - Basically not a whole lot more going on up there... Free range thoughts.
Skram - As of tomorrow I will have my gold... no bottles will be opened like that. And as far as being unladylike, those days are long gone.... weeks ago at least! ;)
Hans - It was definitely interesting, mainly because it was a coworker. Maybe if I'd have said yes, SHE'd have moved the furniture!
Kyknoord - Problem is, even after they realize they suck as parents, they have more! I can drive the Ferrari if I can find a way to set the odometer back a la Ferris Bueller's Day Off! =) Oh, and I've determinded it's the left side that shall be dressed.
Lady S - I know what you mean about time with family, usually I can only take them in little bits. Hey yeah, it wasn't you that propositioned me!!! {tapping foot} Eh, maybe when I get back... =)
Chitty - No hon, I don't have a whole lot of 'moderation' in me, but hey... keeps things interesting! And you can only have a pic of my crunk if I can get it to shine all 'perty' and show off my engraved initials. I was going to engrave ChittyChittyBangBang but, uh... it IS only a tooth! =)
Fern - I clicked on the link and had such a good laugh! The wording is too perfect and I laughed at the popcorn incident!
Heidi - Thingamabobs in my head... hmmm, maybe that's what's been giving me these headaches lately. =) I'm sure I'll get one or two random posts in there to amuse or perhaps to prove that I can still communicate with people and not 4 legged critters. If the words 'woof' or 'meow' appear, just pretend like you don't notice it, ok?
"I think she is wanting to find a relationship that works for her so badly that the lines are blurring, that's all."
You don't say!
I know it shouldn't, but I'm so glad to hear that someone else has the same utterly bizarre kind of episodes that I have.
Surreal is a big enough word.
Maybe we should invent a word for completely weird events that happen to punctuate our painfully mundane and ordinary daily lives far more often than they should...
Hahaha...some bits of this post were super funny!
Crap you ain't gonna blog for 13 days huh?
Well anyways, have a great fortnight!
"Surreal is a big enough word."
Or more precisely / accurately, surreal ISN'T a big enough word...
Wayne - Trust me, I know what you mean about finding some sort of comfort in knowing others have similar bizarre experiences. And honestly, I do think they have a word for it but it is against the rules to utter it aloud... lest it bring on more odd occurances!
Bean - Might get one or two posts in during that time but it's hard to say. You used the word 'fortnight'... such a great word and yet no one uses it here. Heck, I don't even think most know what it means...
Yeah, it's such a cool word! Makes me think of forts.
Oh and also nights!
:D
You had a non-argumentative conversation with your mother? For that long? You really are amazing! I couldn't do that with my mother.
Oh, and if you could open a bottle of beer with your breasts you would definately attract men more!
Nothing wrong with liking beer either, it's great for a sunny day whn you're sitting in the shade listening to some great music...sorry I was having a flashback(saw CATCF, woohoo!).
Shopping for food-That is one thing that might compel me to use the internet-I don't know if it works out better that way, but it saves navigtating the screaming brats and suppresing your anger while wanting to run them over with something larger than a trolley(and the parents, actually ESPECIALLY THE PARENTS)
Oh, and being tied to someone would really be freaky.
Over And Out!
Motor - I'm off to learn how to open beer bottles with my breasts... 'nuff said! =)
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