For any nice positive thing that anyone may have ever said about me - just take it back now. I am a total fucking idiot. "Why?", you ask? Oh there are many reasons. I simply can't seem to control myself. Perhaps this is why I shouldn't drink. Or put myself within range of other humans for that matter. I hurt them and I hurt me. I don't mean to, it just happens.
And let me just vent about one thing for a moment. Indulge me, ok? I went to my friend's boyfriend's house and we had a bonfire, beer, and visiting friends and neighbors. One of the neighbors mistook my friendliness and mannerisms as way more than that and ended up hitting on me with the proverbial 'sledgehammer'. Shit. Apparently everyone there knew of his intentions by the time I was ready to leave - he had been telling everyone that I was 'really something special' and that he'd 'do me'. Lovely; that's really special. I thought he was fun up until that point - then I immediately dropped all contact. When I left, he gave me the 'secret' 1985 handshake that tells you that someone wants you without actually using the words. Ew. If you aren't sure what that is, ask someone. And promise me you'll never do it. Anyway, I just met the guy. Furthermore, he's married! Let me just take this moment to say that there is only one married guy that I know of that I feel any kind of attraction to, and it is purely cerebral. Nothing more. This fucker ended up making me feel like a bit of a whore. That was not my intention nor do I plan on editing my personality in the future to avoid such lowlife. What a penis. I hate the fact that I let it bother me so much. There is a certain portion of my stomach that is churning at the moment and it has 'beer' and 'stupid married guy' written all over it. I actually feel filthy.
These are beer-fueled words but they are true words. I do not lead people on with unrealistic expectations. I have not done anything wrong. Yet some inbred excuse for a man has decided that he can club me over the head, drag me to his cave, and make me his own for a night. Fuck him. And fuck every guy out there that has the same pathetic mentality. Thanks asshole, for ruining what started out as a fun evening. You have just succeeded in adding another layer to the wall that I keep around me.
He is the reason I am reluctant to let my guard down. Bastard. I need a shower...
7 comments:
Don't worry - neandertals tend to die out through natural selection ;o)
Ugh, do you mean the handshake where one person sort of tickles the palm of the other with his fingertips? That's just creepy.
You should send an anonymous letter to his wife and let her know what a scumbag he is. It might not be worth the trouble though.
I know Carpy... just not soon enough. Although I COULD speed up the process for him...
Skrambled, that is the handshake I'm referring to. Ew. Please tell me you'll never ever do that. As opposed to the jackass last night, I'm confident that you have mastered walking upright and therefore wouldn't consider it.
But if either of you do - I'm kicking your ass! =)
you have it all wrong, YOU are not an idiot. you did nothing wrong, there is nothing wrong with being freindly or even flirty, (wether you were or not, doesn't matter). that is called being social and leads to a fun time for all involved. i would hate to see a fun spirit like yours crushed by some fucktard. seriously, dude is not worth the energy to be upset.
oh, one more thing, if it's ok with you, i will use your story (altered for my benefit) for a story on my blog. if you want i will give props to you via linkage...
Retarius, feel free to use and abuse my post... =) I mean really, how can I deny someone who just used the word 'fucktard'! And truly, thanks for the supportive words.
Thanks eKapa! It was an awkward situation but it played out ok in the end... I left...lol. You know, it's interesting to see that the only comments on this are from guys.
Post a Comment