Why? Because I am weak-willed. Ok, that's a lie. I'm nosey. I only have my first and middle name on the account because I DON'T want people to find me. The few that do are tolerable. Mostly. Some I'd like to drop a giant axe on. Anyway. Why do I care what some guy I went to high school with, and wasn't really even friends with, has posted in his pics? Why do I feel compelled to see what a former friend's 'likes' are. Or what they wrote today?
It is simple curiosity but I don't like it because it reminds me yet again how different I am from those people. I suppose I just have to stop looking and remove any associated people from my account. If they are gone, the temptation to browse through their friends list (knowing full well that I'll see people I know there) will also go away.
Unfortunately I learned yesterday that I work the same shift (different department, but we have contact) with a former best friend's sister. You know, some how I knew she was related to him. I finally asked her yesterday. He's in another state so the possibility of him wreaking havoc on my life is rather limited, but still. I don't like dredging up things I thought were closed. I've never had luck with that.
I know I'm different. But I truly dislike this wave of uber-normality (or the appearance of) hitting me from all sides. But like a car crash - I can't help but look. It just reminds me of all the ways I'm not like other people. Perhaps we are more alike in ways, but I'm just more 'ok' with saying that my life is confusing, chaotic and a total loss at times. Maybe I don't need to keep up appearances.
Man, I really hate facebook. It brings out a very bad side of me. And just so you know - I think I only have only permitted 45 'friends' and to me, that is WAY too many. A person such as myself has next to no business having actual personal contacts on a social networking site. Bad combo. Just sayin'.
2 comments:
Me too. I hate how my brain has been infected by the need to look at pics of myself aged ten that other people post. I hate how some bitches have posted pics of me on the ground being hit aged fifteen. I hate how it pissed me off not being invited to the most recent reunion, and how much I rejoiced at the fact only ten people turned up. And they were all fat and orange ( a curious cultural phenomena in the UK at the mo).
It makes me shallow. I hate it. But I can't actually stop it.
Ginger Doll - I don't think you're shallow. Curious, maybe, shallow, no. But to someone who isn't used to feeling shallow (meaning YOU!), I can certainly identify with your sentiment.
See, it's been my lifes work... ok, mainly since the internet caught on (ha) to keep pics of myself off here. I have literally threatened a friend that posted a pic of me. I have my reasons and it stems from having to hide. The only pics I have of me on FB are of me dressed in a halloween costume with a wig!
I think it's rude to post pics of others without their consent, but that's just me. Nice people you went to school with, by the way.
Please tell me the only reason all 10 of them were orange was from inappropriate use of self-tanner! I'd hate to think it's some creeping orange fungus or something!
Great. Now I will go search for you...lol. Gah!
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