I've been having one of those off days. Weeks. Ok, so it's been like two weeks. I just seem to be all thumbs in the physical as well as the mental realm. I'm not thinking; every single thing is just off. Good thing for me it's gotten to the point that I can just laugh and carry on. (I can, other people, not so much.)
You know how you have patterns when it comes to the simple things? Left sock then left shoe, (repeat on right) or first both socks then shoes. You know, easy things. So I ended up in the shower trying to figure out how I'd washed my hair (I knew I had the shampoo in my hand) yet somehow didn't wash my hair. Thing of it is, I've been so spacey that it took me somewhere between 2-3 minutes of hardcore detective work to piece it all together. I'd washed ME with the shampoo on my little scrubby thing. I think my autopilot is malfunctioning because it's these little things that are all going haywire. Easy, shampoo - hair; body gets the shower gel. Oh well, I didn't have time to shave my legs so I can take comfort in knowing the stubble is soft, shiny and manageable. And of course I did wash my hair (with shampoo) and rewash me with shower gel. Damn if it isn't those easy things that trip you up!
How many people do you know that stick their toothbrush in the toilet as a reaction to assist a drowning spider. Although this is the first time I've seen a big crunchy looking black spider doing a multi-legged backstroke, the idea that I abhor spiders should have registered leaving the only viable option as... flush. But no. I saved the little fucker and he was last seen briskly making a break for the linen closet. Which is beside my bedroom. I'm sure I'll sleep again, someday. Needless to say, that toothbrush is history.
But then again I'm not sure if I'll need a toothbrush again. Yours truly broke off about a third of the space-age polymer filling that was standing in until I have the crown process initiated next week. This is a rather large portion (about 1/4 of the entire surface) that gave in to the obvious relentless pounding I doled out when I was eating a piece of bread. Bread. Bread vs tooth? Logically, which wins? Aha, and they say there are no mysteries left!
Everything I reach for, I bash my hand into. When I try to speak, I sound like a nervous schoolgirl. Or like I've been drinking. Or worse, both. All pens run out of ink on my hand*, all stacks of paper tumble down like confetti. It really has gotten to the point where it is just plain funny. I'm sure it's just a phase that will end but until then, I don't mind finding humor in myself. Sometimes you just have to ride that awkward wave.
* Technically it was only one pen really, but you get the idea.
16 comments:
You made me laugh and laugh with this post. I have been there all too often myself. Last night's clinical experience was, in fact, an exercise in having no rhythm or grace at all as a matter of fact! I wasn't exactly a danger to my patient, but the entire evening felt off, out of kilter. And I kept tripping over *everything*. IV pole stands, tray tables, cords, my own feet...gah. It would have been comical if it hadn't been so distressing! Thankfully, my instructor this semester is patient, so I survived. As did my lovely patient! :)
Anyhow, I'm right there with ya. You word it all very well.
When all else fails, a sense of humor can be a life line. I'm glad you saved the large black spider; I like spiders myself (yes, I am strange). And in many traditions spiders bring good fortune if you are kind to them. Or at least do not squish or flush them.
If you like, you can explain this all by murmuring "Mercury is retrograde". Because it is, and your experiences are very Mercury retro. About 3 weeks to go with this one.
Anne - For what its worth, I think IV poles are out to get everyone! So during clinicals is one of the worst times to go through this, I'd imagine. It does, however, give you realistic experience at everything being in your way when it comes time for you to do your job! As you said, no rhythm or grace. Anywhere, for miles... =) I'm glad to know you are comfortable with your instructor, though. That can mean so much!
Jarvenpa - Ahhhh, now come on! Mercury is retrograde again!? When that happens, my mother has trouble with anything electronic or mechanical. For me, apparently it is with, uh, me. But our bodies ARE in a sense electronic and mechanical. It really has become funny. I just go with it and try to laugh it off. It's a phase of sorts and I'm used to dealing with those. As for the spider, as much as I am not a fan, I haven't squished one in years. It's not their fault I don't like them. In the non-freezing months, I capture them in a plastic cup, cover it with something like junk mail, then toss it all outside. I had a daddy long legs (do they have another name) living up in the corner of my shower for months. One day he wasn't there and I saw him lifeless on the shower floor. I swear Jarvenpa, I was upset for days. I talked to him all the time and would give him a minute to get fully out of the spray when I turned it on so as to avoid it knocking him down. I even gave him a nickname. Oh man, maybe mercury in retrograde is the least of my problems, eh? ;)
Sounds like you're having the same kind of week I'm having.
That spider thing? i SO would've flushed...especially if he was any NEAR the bedroom. Yikes! :)
Hope you get more combobulated shortly! ;)
I'm a little freaked by some of our similarities. I have tooth issues as well, as a young teen I smashed my front ones and spent the several years at the mercy of bad NHS dentistry that left me with ill fitting caps that sprang off at the slightest provocation whilst my teeth were growing. It often happened at school with predictible results in that happy bear pit. At seventeen I got lovely new porcelain crowns and a shiny brace. I was flirting with the lovely Jeff in the school common room when the wire snapped and left me with two uneven metal prongs poking out at right angles to my face. This was an hour before a final exam so I remained like this for the rest of the day...
The positive outcome was Jeff was so impressed he later asked me out. What a hero!
J/xx
PS don't eact curry with the falsies, I discovered you take on colour and red front teeth are very funny for your mates but not for you!
Bra's!
Oh wait, we did that one.
I love you for saving the spider. Noble self-sacrifice. Buddha would have approved. Probably Jesus AND mohammed, too!
And meh, teeth! When i was 17, a rogue dentist gave me 10 unnecessary fillings. If you can't trust yr dentists, who CAN you trust??!
*hugs for all fellow tooth-problem people*
S.x
spiders my little girls pets shes not afraid of anything.
Were has all the people gone like Frog with a blog, reluntant nomad, riding the slipstream and all those people can you recommend some blogs to visit please my blog list is short now.
Come on, with me now - and you HAVE to believe it. Clearly the universe is simply making sure that everything goes crazy now to get rid of all the bad vibes. The good things are about to happen.
And stop it with the doubtful face. Every self-help book says so.
I once attacked a spider with a can of bugspray, a newspaper, a broom AND two small dogs. And then I flushed him, just to be sure. Although he was bigger than my hand so you probably would've done the same. And I would've loved to have read THAT post, especially with your current co-ordination issues, LOL!
Stacy - I've been waiting years for combobulation (is that a word?) and have just come to accept that I am here to provide laughter for the gods. ;)
Ginger Doll - Hey, that's like a dental story with a happy ending! Well, where Jeff is concerned anyway. Toughing it out through the exam must've been so very awkward. As for the popping off of teeth/caps, I've managed to not have to endure that one. I do lose temp crowns/fillings often but the social aspects of that are next to nil.
Saturnyne - True, bras were addressed earlier but I can tell you (and I forgot to mention it in my post) that last week I found out during a quick trip to the restroom that my, uh, undergarments (!) were on inside out. No kidding. And they had been for the past 8 hours or so. I think that dentist that used you for target practice needs a solid right hook. Or ten! Definitely hugs to those with the dental woes.
Whatalotoffun - She's braver than I am, I'm a spider sissy! =) Yeah, Nomad was quiet for months after moving to Amsterdam and I have no idea where Chitty went. I don't keep links on my blog but you'll find some interesting folks if you check out the ones who leave comments here.
Anne - So, this is some sort of Bad Vibe Purge-athon'?! Grand. I mean, yeah, bad out, good in. All the self help books say so. Let me practice repeating that with a straight face and I'll get back with you. ;)
Terri - Geez, I can only imagine if it was something truly menacing!!! Then again, it sounds like it was large enough to hear eight footsteps. EW! I'm wondering if the dogs were used for their threatening (albeit petite) barks or moral support. For large spiders, I prefer moral support in the form of a flame thrower. =)
Yep, sometimes it seems that nothing is going our way.
(hug)
Meadow - So true. But we get to gripe (or even laugh) about it until it gets better. Um, it does get better, right?... ;)
The dogs were meant to be there for their menacing killer abilities but when El Arachnido plopped onto the floor (a can of bugspray made his feet un-sticky) both canines fled, leaving me to finish him off with the newspaper and broom. 'Twas quite a night.
That is a funny, funny thing.
I think you need to be in seclusion while this wears off.
hello I find a new addiction facebook wanna join go to www.facebook.com my name is Celeste Berg
Terri - Slippery arachnid feet?! That's the stuff nightmares are made of!
Jay - If I could only be so lucky. Instead, I'm out among the masses.
Whatalotoffun - I'll have to check that out... haven't hit FaceBook yey!
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