I'm writing this then going back to hide in bed. Couple of things on my mind so I figured I'd try to pull them out amid the general chaos and try to purge them from my brain. First, does anyone know anything about astrology? Was I born under a bad sign? It would be much easier to deal with that than to think life is sucking right now because 'it just does'. Or Allah wills it. Or God says you are never given more than you can handle. If 'God' would take a closer look it would be clear that I'm not handling it so well. Please, just tell me it's planetary alignment or something.
Ok, I threw a complete fit at work Friday complete with numerous expletives, flying objects and thinly veiled threats. I am not a babysitter. Although it is 'unspoken law' that I'm the go-to person on my shift (per the pharmacists), I still need some fucking cooperation. One month, that's as long as I've been there. I've decided to go in and just keep my mouth shut and attempt to do it all myself. That way I don't have to babysit, nor do I have to be disappointed by others. Will I fail with this method? Most likely. Right now, I don't care.
Remember Benny, my semi-evil cat? Well, he's still at it and wreaking havoc at my mothers' house with her cats. He's on drugs and we've used a pheromone diffuser to calm him and it's just not working. When he attacks, his former leukemia symptoms come back. So, which came first? Did the flare up in symptoms reestablish inflammation in the brain causing the aggressive behavior or does a bout of aggression bring on the inflammatory response. We've consulted a behavioralist and it isn't looking good. My next trip back to Ohio may be for his euthanasia. I feel so damned helpless.
My nerves are frazzled to the point where I can't eat. If I manage to choke something down past the nausea, I still feel sick for hours. If I don't eat at all, well, obviously I feel like shit, but then the acid reflux takes over and my stomach kills me and furnishes even more nausea. It's like a lose/lose situation.
Which brings me to the next topic of my doctor's office being a bunch of incompetent oafs. They will not help me with records because I've crossed the state line... seriously. So now I have to hurry (before my prescription for my stomach runs out - not that it's doing a world of good) and find a doctor here that I have to actually ask to falsify records because they won't help me. Fuckers.
And because I'm being reminded of being alone and somewhat lonely right now, advertising for Valentine's Day is pumping full force. Thanks. Add some salt to the wound, why don't you?
I'm going back to hide.
15 comments:
Oh dear--you have your life full of challenge these days, don't you. I was thinking of you this morning, because I had a migraine and just wanted to let everything else in my life go, to pull up the covers and pretend I didn't have any outside duties beyond sleeping...
Alas, I couldn't.
I do know a little about astrology, and if you'd like to post your time, date, and place of birth, I could tell you a little more. I do not believe we are doomed by our charts (or anything), but sometimes we can see patterns and challenges and maybe ways to work with these. Your profile says you are a sun sign Cancer, but that's just part of a chart. Still, sunsign Cancers are both tender and strong (Emma Goldman, Thoreau, both Cancers). Very emotional, but also not all that easy to know--they protect themselves, or try to...
I am so sorry about your cat.
And all. May things brighten for you...
sucking coworkers really suck (what a wonderful choice of words!).
The stomach/acid refulx thingy: stupid doctor's office personnel suck too.
What else sucks?
and what was that day u were mentioning!? Valentine? Eh?! what?! doesn't exist ;) Just an exciuse to eat chocolate I think ;) Not that one should need excuses to do that though :)
and to close a with a couple of nice cliches: tomorrow is another day and smile and the world will smile back at you. . .
Hmmmm, yeah, ignore all I said ;)
Fuck they're already advertising for Valentines Day huh...sucks!
In India there's this fanatic group called the RSS, on valentine's day they go around throwing black paint on card shops, gift shops and any one or thing that has some reference to Valentine's Day. Of course they're right wing religious extremists, but occasionally I feel like helping them with their cause.
Poor Benny. *sniff*
It's a damn shame when our pets get sick and we can't do a damn thing. A depressing thought.
P.S. If you feel like it, I tagged you for a meme. Sorry.
We share a star sign and things look bleak for me also. It is a pity you are so far, because I feel a Tequila session coming on!!! At least after that, I know why I am feeling so shit.
maybe that screaming you were talking about would help now?
God, that's some pretty shitty stuff, Livewire. I'm sorry to hear about Benny too...that really sucks.
I think Motormouth's right...perhaps a nice long scream would make you feel better? It's worth a shot anyway.....
You need cheering up, it seems. Perhaps I could come up with a list of people to make fun of? That should be relatively easy. :-)
As regards Valentine's Day, just take it as being the last 'happy' celebratory day for a long time this year. Unless, there are others that Americans celebrate that I'm not aware of.
Jarvenpa - Migraines have a way of doing that. Hopefully you have some sort of meds that help. I have to check on my time of birth but yeah, I might like to see what is revealed. I know that nothing is mapped out per se, but patterns are kind of interesting to see. I do live up to many of the Cancer traits, that I know for sure. =) Thanks for your thoughts for me and about Benny. Things will brighten - once this black cloud inches away a bit.
Tigress - Eating chocolate should be a national pastime; we should embrace it each day! And all those sucky things so, well, suck. But they suck for everyone, I know it's not just me. (Wait, it isn't just me, right? Right?!)
Bean - They've been advertising for a while then blend it right into 'wedding season'. Male or female, you get no break. I think I want to join that group just so I can participate in the paint-flinging! Other than that, right wing religious extremists and I would be like oil and water, but we could have a bit of fun!
Banzai - Indeed, poor Benny. He's my miracle cat - he beat leukemia... or part of him did. It appears the damage is permanent on a certain level. I do know that I did more than most would've and gave him a chance. Very sad, still. Oh... and I will go check out the meme. It's hard to resist a tagging cat. =)
Buddess - Lol... one of those sessions is sure to leave you with no doubt as to why you feel so awful. We must push these continents together I tell you!
Motor - You know... I might take your advice on that.
Stacy - Thanks, PQ. The issue with Benny is a tough one. The rest of it is par for the course in my life... you think I'd be used to it by now!
Nomad - Oooh, I always welcome lists like that! =) Gee, hope I'm not on that list! I've never been one much for holidays so whatever happy-crappy ones we come up with, I try to avoid. I just hate having it crammed down my throat. Ok, except Halloween is cool...
(HUG) Whenever my nerves are frazzled or I feel helpless and alone, I take a good look at the things that make me unhappy and decide how much of it is really my fault and how much I can really do to make them go away.
You'll be surpised how much are caused by other ppl. I also find that when I focus on the solution and accept what I need to do, that I feel better. It makes me feel that I am in control.
I hope things go well with Benny... he deserves a break.
Ew. I'm sorry you're not feeling well. :(
Chitty - Well, a hug from the Chitster always helps; thanks! You know, alot of what is going on isn't my fault but rather circumstantial. Well, then add in the dumb people. I'm starting to step back a bit and try to see what I can do to take the reins and get control again. And yes, Benny needs a second miracle. He may be a pain in the ass but he deserves more time. =)
Goddess - Yeah, it's a crummy time, I can tell you that much. Sometimes I have to wallow in the physical and emotional aspects before I come out swinging. Just the way I am. ;)
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So..... where is toilet? Hehe))) Joke, relax ;)
Hope for no silence
Delete shis text plz. Sorry
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