Ok... think back to the last post. Well, The Hotel Camry now has an incredible new safety feature... it is now almost impossible for evildoers (or anyone else, for that matter) to get inside!
Yes folks, in my hand... the handle to the front, driver's side door. Please note the oddity... in my hand. It should immediately strike you, as a reader, that it is wrong. The handle should be firmly attached to my car! It snapped off nice as you please when I tried to open my partially frozen car door this morning. Oy. I don't even know what to say anymore. I do, however, know that I'd find it much funnier if it would be happening to someone else.
While in the mode of 'funny in a sick sort of way'... Benny bit me again. Apparently his amytriptylline is not quite working yet. This time, he got his back claws in on the action. Barely, but enough. The result?...
Isn't this just spectacular? The color, form, organic sense of movement? Furry little bastard. For some reason my body reacted with some serious hypersensitivity over the past few days to what was barely an abrasion. Now I look as if I tried to 'off' myself with a kitchen whisk. Or perhaps a manual egg beater. Great way to start a new job, don't you think? I'm certain anyone that sees it will be curious. Due to the nature of my skin and being rather fair, I'll more than likely have these scars on my wrist for an average of nine or ten months. Again, laugh? Cry?
Just thought you may enjoy the door handle story and find my new scarification somewhat interesting in a bit of a dark kind of way.
Due to this fabulous gift of a winter storm from Canada (remind me to thank them, will ya'?) my internet has been down all day and I've had no chance to look for an abode. Off to check a few things then get everything ready for work, no telling how early this weather will have me leaving.
My wish for you... sturdy car handles, non-questionable wrist scarring and a suitable abode.
19 comments:
happy thanksgiving babes.
sorry about the kitty scratches. it is not surprising to you at all, probably, that i react the same way and still have scars from cats that have long since gone to the great meadow in the sky.
sorry about the door handle.that is crazy. better things ahead!
Livewire, I did one of these for Anne to cheer her up, and now I see you need one too. Think Julie Andrews. Think mountaintops and spinning:
Apartments, not Camrys
With flimsy door handles,
Kitties with manners,
Not realtors who prattle,
Returning to Pittsburgh--old memories brings
These are a few of my favorite things....
There. Maybe that will cheer you up a little. BTW, remember that spirit of defiance? Let it shine.
happy thanksgiving! i am thankful how you have such spirit despite trying times.
wow sorry to say but the handle is hillarious :">
Anyways things seem so difficult upon change but in order to succeed it is necessary to pass the phase :-)
happy thanksgiving.
Hi L.
Sorry about those scratches dear… When I saw the pic, I freaked out. Wass up with the cat? Is it a cat or a tiger? I don’t know what to say. Maybe he’s under stress or something. But whatever it is, he needs to learn a good lesson. Coz those scratches are a bit serious, and happened to be in a wrong place! See if you can hide it somehow. U don’t need folks out there to see them like that, U know.
Sorry about the door-handle too. Yes I guessed it immediately… Frozen door handle in the morning! It happened to me once a few years ago and I know how you feel.
I believe you need & deserve a good break dear. Somewhere warm and sunny to chill a little bit with a good book and more goodies ;)
Happy thanksgiving!
Unfortunately neither of the pics display, so I've imagined some rather decorative images of you with a car door handle and a cat hanging of your arm! :D
You're currently experiencing what I think of as a "getting all the shite out of the way" phase. But... when it does get better (which should be soon, judging by the amount of shite that's happening to you), it will get spectacularly better. I can tell.
can you still open the door? thats some shoddy workmanship!
nice to see the cat has a yearning for artistic expression, shame that you seem to have become his canvas.
Wow. Scary scarification there, Cap'n. Time for Benny to walk the plank, I think.
Uh, how about 'Crying with Laughter'? Sorry LW, you have my sympathy but this is just hilarious!
I'm guessing the cat wasn't so keen on Chez Camri as it's next abode, so it spent the night working away at loosening the handle - I mean, you can't live in something you can't get into, right?
And really... "offing myself with a kitchen whisk..."??? LOL!
Good luck and have a great weekend :-)
The cat scratches are pretty identifiable as cat scratches, so I wouldn't worry about that. But the door handle....well, that kind of thing doesn't happen to just anyone:) That takes a lot of bad luck!
Happy Thanksgiving to all! =)
Rose - Without knowing it, we probably have matching kitty scars somehow! =)
Jason - Lol... I did enjoy this! I might have to print it out and carry it with me. The way things go for me sometimes, you may be called on for a second verse! Btw, the defiance is lying in wait, and oh, when it comes... =)
Transience - Some call that stubbornness, too. Either way, it's pretty handy!
Dr O2 - Once the tears stopped, I thought so, too =) You are right, change isn't easy, if it would be easy... everybody would be doing it!
Farzad - Ah yes, Benny... he is reportedly a simple housecat but I beg to differ. He is a mutant of some sort. We DO have a nuclear power plant less than 15 miles away....hmmm. The location is just not good. Kind of funny in a 'This is LiVEwiRe's Life' sort of way, though. The door handle is sitting on my desk, just looking up at me as I type this... ah, how I love last minute challenges. {cough, yeah right!} I do need a vacation!
Bean - I hate when images don't display. But I can tell you that there is a growing number of people that are wishing they DIDN'T have a particular image. That would be the people that have to witness my ass up in the air while reaching through the passenger side of my car to release the door from inside...lol.
Anne - I'm counting on you to make sure all these pesky little things get out of the way. I know you can do it... =)
Prisoner - I can open the door - from the inside. Yeah, not the most helpful but at least it opens. And maybe I'll try getting Benny some canvas and crimson paint... just for the sake of authenticity! Beats the hell out of using me!
Kyknoord - It's like the new version of crop circles. Trust me, that little furball will be walking the plank if he keeps it up. But with my luck he'll just use his claws and crawl back on the underside of the plank...
Terri - If you could have seen it, and what my expression must've been... you'd have been rolling on the ground with laughter! And maybe pointing, too. You know... this may be all Benny's doing; he is rather crafty. As for the whisk... looks like it might be a suitable culprit, no? ;)
Jay - Sometimes I think I'm like Comedy Central for the Gods... maybe along the lines of a Woody Allen flick. Yeah, I'm special in that kind of 'luck'... =)
Ouch!Any cat lover (or person living with cats, though perhaps not loving them) will recognize those marks on your poor wrist. In the future, it might work if you let your hand relax when your wildcat graps it and starts kicking away. If you are moving about the kitty thinks "yum! rabbit!" or something, and keeps attempting to kill you.
I was feeling sad about the dropping temperatures here--but they have just dropped to the 30's, and all is sunny during the day. No door handles snapping off. Come to California!
Those are some mean nails you have there - ever thought of scratching back? :-)
Even minor scratches can get bad when you consider the source: those claws certainly have been used to move poop around, dig, maybe hunt a mouse or two... Got some bacteria in there :)
R2K..Bathrooms..Rocketry
Nomad - I could slap that cat into the next generation and he'd not learn a thing. I don't think he'd be intimidated by my nails as his teeth are waaay bigger!
Alex - I know! I have cooties! See, if I'd only trained him to use MY bathroom and 'hover', there would be significantly less bacteria.
Restayvien - That's always what I say..."I'd find this funnier if it were happening to someone else!".. =) Cycling in the cold has got to be awful! And yes! A woodchipper it is! That's what it felt like, too. (I don't recommend it.) Nice to see you again.
Jarvenpa - I am hoping that it'll be identified, I suppose it just is a bit questionable. Good thing I have other scratch and bite marks to prove the point... =)Yes, CA sounds a little warmer than what we've had lately. But just for fun today is supposed to get to ~68F! Two days from now? A high of 30... we have such strange weather! No wonder things snap off.
Well, if it's any consolation, Benny is middling-sorry. (Okay, us cats are real bastards that way but we can't help it!) Personally, I usually grab them by the throat and tell them firmly, "No claws. What did I tell you before? When you're connected in anyway to my body, no claws." Sometimes they listen. ;-)
As for your car... wow. Maybe you just don't know your own strength?
I can hear it now: "Livewire smash!"
Banzai - Yeah, I could have YOU talk to him... maybe rough him up a bit, too. I'd say he needs a good ass kicking but it never seems to sink in with him. Actually, the vet thinks he may have some amount of damage to his brain from when he was so sick. Very high fevers will do that. Not sure if he'll ever learn. Perhaps I just need a protective suit. As far as the car handle... they told me that it was just a rumor about me having superhuman strength. Hmmm, guess they might have been wrong! =)
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