The Inescapable Us

I used to look for that hidden door that would take me somewhere other than where I was at the moment. Eventually I learned that if you do that, it may take you somewhere just as shitty. I no longer look for that hidden door.


There are things that you just can't get away from. Some good, some bad, but all steadfast in their ability to cling to you. Here are a few of those things:

• Muzak. Especially when it is a tune from one's college days. You will find yourself humming along and at some point it hits you that this is GunsNRoses "My Michelle", or Poison "Unskinny Bop".
• The hideous gift. Usually given to you by some relative who will expect you to wear/display it proudly. In years to come, you will be the butt of jokes from other family members that think it funny only because they were not the recipient of said gift.
• Humiliation. Invariably, at some point in your life, you will be the seer or the peer. Being on either side of the door in that situation is enough to send you for a few extra hours on the couch.
• The Admirer. Think back to when you were 8 - I bet you had a Valentine Box at school. Remember the year you got an extra valentine with no name on it? All of the kids would try to figure out who sent it while you tried to pretend it was no big deal to you.
• Regrets. The first time you really felt regret over something you did. I don't really mean when you spent your comic money on candy - I mean bigger: the day you had only yourself to answer to .
• Windfalls. The finding of a quarter on the ground as a child. Finding a twenty peeking out of a parking lot mud puddle now.

All of these are little parts of you that never go away whether positive or negative. They are the things that you can look back on and realize their importance and in forming the person you are today - some with fond memories, some you just wish you could skip over...

And here, folks, here is my latest addition to that little list.

• Being Awesome! There may be a day that you see a 14/15 y.o. male with a cool band (Tool) tee on. Refrain from making any comment. Avoid all eye contact. Should you state that you like Tool, this being will ask in confusion, "really"? If you get to this point, make every effort to sever the discussion and RUN! Never under any circumstances refer to songs, CD titles, or band member names as this will only get you where you do not want to be. Yes, I admit, I made those mistakes. And on an elevator at work, no less. Know what the reward was for being friendly (although not meant as an insult, I'm sure)? "Whoa, YOU like Tool?", as I am being eyed up and down in disbelief in my hospital scrubs, "Dude! You're awesome"! As the elevator stopped at my floor and he yelled out "later", I realized that he probably could not conceive of the notion that some old chick in scrubs likes the band HE likes. :::sigh:::

I hate it when being nice makes me feel shitty. But hey, at least I know I'm awesome.