It has happened. And not without great bouts of kicking, screaming, tears, and bartering with the devil (read: car salesman).
Chez Camry is no longer mine. I made the dealer promise me that she'd go to a nice farm and be allowed to roam free range for the rest of her days. After hearing the word 'pit' and 'Camry Heaven' my eyes sort of glazed over and I don't recall much else.
I feel guilty. Seriously. I had an attachment there. I could rely on that car more than I could most people; now I've abandoned her. Small wonder I feel so awful. *I've cried the past two days. Granted, some of that could be coming from the whole PMS issue, but I'd be like this anyway.
Buying her back is a huge temptation but if I go there and she's, uh, gone... This all happened rather quickly and I just wasn't ready to end our relationship. ~sigh~
The current vehicle? A 2004 Hyundai Sonata. If Blogger cooperates and I can bring myself to do it, a picture will follow within the next couple of weeks. **Once I stop crying. I really do hate the holidays.
* Actually, today makes day number three.
** Yes, while I realize I am having an extreme response to this, it is my response and it is valid. I happen to live my life on a cusp with alot of gray areas; one being that I believe certain inanimate objects have feelings. I'm not at all kidding when I say that. For me, the kind of feeling I'm having is like what most people would feel if they just dumped their beloved family pet off somewhere and drove away. Or even a kid you sort of liked. You know they'd be just sitting there waiting for you to come back. Except I'm not coming back. Damn it, I'm crying again. Don't worry, in January I'll be looking for a new psychiatrist as soon as the new benefits begin.
11 comments:
U'll have to admit Hyundai Sonata at the very least sounds more romatic than the Camry.
But sorry to hear U have had crying moments (longer than one moment, right?!). hopefully somethign relaly really nice comes along ur way tomorrow and U will remember that u should smile more often :)
I believe objects have feelings too - I remember saying goodbye to the old garage door at my parents', before they changed it for a newfangled one.
It's nice to know I'm not the only one they would look at in a "certifiable..." way. ;)
I don't know if this will make you feel better but, many years ago, when I moved to England for the first time, my wife and I brought our dog over from S Africa. She had to spend 6 months in quarantine before we were allowed to have her at home with us. We used to visit her every weekend for an hour and, at first, felt awful about leaving her there in the kennels. Although they were relatively comfortable, they were still kennels where her movements were restricted and she was surrounded by other dogs and people she'd never met before.
Soon, however, despite her ecstatic greeting of us each time we saw her, we realised that within 5 min of our arriving there, she was much more interested in the goings on around her. The place was alive with interest for her....all those strange dogs which were no longer strangers and those people she didn't really know but was interested in made her life very exciting indeed.
It may not have been the warm, comfortable home she was accustomed to but she loved the place.
Think of that story when you think of your 'abandoned' Camry and things may be a whole lot better.
ugh! I'm the same way with many inanimate objects... I have to apologize to certain items if I choose one over another because I think it will feel rejected!!
I also have a very hard time letting go of anything I've become even slightly attached too!!
so you should have seen me when my grandfather sold his house!!
lets just say ONE of the physical manifestations of the stress of that loss was a bout of full body, covered from head to toe, looking like a swollen up platypus in a thanksgiving parade... HIVES!! which off and on lasted me about a year!! (more on than off)
of course it didn't help that within that same year some butt head offered the landlord of our super cool, awesome, teerriiffiicc apartment (our first apartment) twice what we were paying which sent us out on our ears... and right back into a 10x12 room in my mother's mold factory
anyway the point is... I know how you're feeling!! so I'll send you some HUGS =)
I feel for "things" also. However, I try to tell myself that after the normal mourning period, the car will find itself beginning to enjoy its new owners. Happiness can come after the breakup, I suppose.
I also have feelings for inanimate objects, maybe cars most of all. You do so much *living* in your car. For me, my car is the only inviolable space that I have. It's completely understandable that you would be sad. I agree with Jason - you'll go through a mourning period, and then both you and Camry will be happy again.
Note: when opening a new jar/can/etc. (a can of coffee, for example), I am always scrupulously careful that the right lid stay with the right can - old lid with old can, new lid with new can. after all, it wouldn't be fair to separate the two! yes, I am that weird.
Tigress - Definitely longer than a moment. I know it'll get easier, but I always get uncomfortable around things that remind me that another chapter is closing.
Anne - Sometimes we associate so much with objects. Other times we're just nuts. Should we figure out which category we're in? Nah.
Nomad - First; six months?! Wow! Second, thank you for that story. It does make me feel better actually because it reminds me that perception is everything. Yes, I think the Camry has feelings. But other than that, I'm sane, right?
Kitty - Separated at birth, you and I. I can't leave one of anything, either. If there's two pickles in a jar, I have both or I have none. I remember you talking about the hives! The connections we make are incredible, aren't they? And here I thought I was the only one I knew that was afraid of hurting the feelings of non-living things! Seems to be more than one of us out there!
Jason - If she has new owners, I'll be happier. I think they were going to send her off to, er, the uh, man, I can't even say it. For all I know, she's thinking, 'Thank god! Finally, a break!' ;)
Anne - Oh yes, very protective of my car. Any moreso and I'd pee around the perimeter of it. It is so funny that you mentioned the issue with lids. I do the exact thing. If it gets mixed up, I try to look at them up close to see which is which. These are truly things that bother me on a much deeper level than they should. Ah, now I know I have company! =)
ah, now I understand the mysterious rant about Camry loss that appeared on my comment section on my site...the person had been to your site, and then came to mine.
When we had to give up our last car, an old, old Honda, and it was being taken away on a big truck for scrap metal, my partner had someone snap a picture of its departure. He'd understand your feelings (and he doesn't even like cars very much).
Jarvenpa - Then I guess it makes more sense now; although every now and then some weird comments do get through. Not so weird once you find the connecting point, though. ;) As far as your Honda, truth be told, I had my camera in my purse. I didn't do it only because I knew I'd start crying uncontrollably. So at least I did that in private... then put it in a not-so-private blog post. it'll still take a bit, but I'll have to work through this on my own time. Which may intensify when I come across that third key I had. It's somewhere close and when I find it, I'll likely consider having it bronzed IF the issue is still haunting me. Or just hang it in the new car. But then that might offend the new car and make it feel unwanted. (You know, this would be a really great time for logic to kick in. Why do I think inanimates 'feel'?!) I'm going now. I'm just sounding crazier and crazier.
Thank you for making feel a little less crazy this morning. I traded my car in yesterday and was in tears. All I kept imagining was Keira (a scion TC) was sitting there alone wondering why? what did I do wrong? why doesn't she love me anymore?
It was horrible.
Loo Loo - I really do know how you feel. It does get easier but if you're at all like me, you'll beat yourself up with guilt for a good while. That probably isn't healthy, is it? On the bright side, she'll make someone else happy now. Glad to see you stop by, even if under these circumstances. =)
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