...blink, the sea is dead.
Falls out of me these sockets in my head;
Everyone's a captain baby, ship of fools-
Drowning while they're telling you it's been all right.
Don't you know they're lying when they're telling you it's been all right?
Even I tire of the gloom and doom and depressing nature of my thoughts lately; that's one of the reasons I've hesitated with posting. The second is that I have bronchitis and just haven't felt well. That being said, here we go...
After missing work for two days (in fairness to my lungs and respiratory system, it should have been more as I'm still sick) I returned to work to find that one of my pharmacists had been suspended about an hour before I got in. No warning, just suspended. I don't know if there are real grounds or just the fact that several people there don't like him (that's putting it mildly) and magnified things to put the spotlight on him. If he leaves this will kind of fuck with me. My two night pharmacists are the two I've come to bond with and the other has commented that he had another offer to consider. I mean, good for you if you have something better, honestly. At the moment I'm letting myself be selfish about it - this is my blog after all. My point of view. So, since I've taken this job, the faces are changing too rapidly. I would really miss either of them if they were to leave. Something tells me to stay on guard because this isn't the end of it. Lately, I have been thinking that I should contact my former director (the one that just left) and see if her offer still stands. I just don't think I should jump so soon; there is something in that idea that doesn't sit well with me. The way I was raised (well, the old world religious part of it) indicates that you are better if you suffer. Pay your dues and then some. Twice. Then offer more for good measure. Thank goodness that teaching didn't last long but part of it still remains to this day. Anyway, it's kind of sucking at work right now. My occasional bright point is seeing 'Joe' (aka Cute Boy) but that in turn sucks as well... damn that marriage certificate. Oh well, he's a friendly face - I'll take it. It's nice to have someone smile when the see you with no ulterior motive.
So then there's the bronchitis thing - I had this doctor's appointment all set up (for a simple prescription refill) before I got sick and have since learned that the doctor and both of his offices (yes, I had to go to both; and they are not close) are the definition of the word clusterfuck. What an experience. I don't think I'll be going back. Then, for the cherry on top, they screwed up my prescription and I have no antibiotics over the weekend, or at all for that matter. Actually, I'm not even going to get them filled. If worse comes to worst, it'll be cheaper to be admitted to the hospital as an employee than to fill that one prescription. Seriously.
Gee, other than that, let's see... my heating bill is almost half of my rent payment. Nice, eh? And I keep it very cool: on 62F when I'm out and 64/65F when I'm here. Layering is essential. Ok, I splurged; it was 66-68F when I was sick for a couple of days. I'd go back to considering Chez Camry but there have been some new noises there that I'm not quite happy with. Not that I'd be expecting much quality sleep though. Last night I was dreaming of being in a plane crash (not recommended), boats flying through the air overhead, and hiking a mountain up one side (here) and down the other (in France) ill prepared but holding my gear and managing to receive a small box delivered 'overnight' of two pair of socks from mom. En route. On the trail. But when I looked up I could see and identify my destination - Interlochen (Interlaken). Which isn't in France at all, it's in Switzerland. I've been there. Point is, it seemed like it was so far away but once I identified my destination, it seemed to make the trek worthwhile. All of it, even the plane crash. Is that telling me to find my own 'destination'? That perhaps once I do, all these things will fade off into the backdrop and just seem like tiny annoyances by then? Perhaps, but at this time it seems as if all these little things are conspiring to be the end of me; whether physical or mental. Come to think of it, a nice trip to Switzerland may be just what I need... or France, as that's where my brain put the mountain. Told you my brain wasn't reliable. Or it could be the cold medicine.
Think I'll go off and check a few blogs now. Lots to check as I haven't been snooping around in about a week. Hopefully over the weekend I'll catch up. Beer sounds good to accompany the blog reading...hmmm.... I like beer. I like blogs. I lead a simple, simple life...
22 comments:
Wow, I feel like my computer much have a different type of virus. You sound like I felt not that long ago. I hope I can't transfer that type of virus over the computer....
Sorry to hear work sucks. I know what you mean about married men...while in my case married women. I seem to click and get along better with women that are already spoken for. Maybe it's just a safety thing.
A trip to Switzerland sounds great. Let me know when, I'd love to take another trip over there :)
I've been thinking a lot about a trip to England again...actually anywhere would be good.
Hope you're feeling better. Buffy says hi.
Sorry to hear that you are sick. I just got over having the bug for the last two weeks and it totally sucked. I hope that you get better soon.
That's too bad about your work situation. I guess you've got to do what's best for you.
You definitely should contact your former boss.
And I like your interpretation of the dream - mostly because that was my interpretation too, I think. ;)
Do you smoke a lot?
I hope the office situation is cleared up soon. Office politics sucks, but when they suspend the few ppl you get a long with, that just makes the situation unbearable.
The antibotics should help to clear up the brochitis, but beer sounds like a good (and much more preferable) remedy to me.
I would interpret the dream as saying, "Put the world down before you drop it, Atlas" (what's the female version of Atlas? Alanis, maybe?)
i try not to interpet dreams, but that's just cos mine are fairly one dimensional. either i'm falling from a great height, being chased by a giant talking boot or beautiful naked women are parachuting onto my house
"ME WANT YOU!"
those are my favorite dreams. but they don't leave much scope for interpetation.
You keep your house 68 degrees??? I'd freeze to death!!! (But then again, I am a wuss! :)
Hope you're feeling better soon...that sucks that you don't have any meds. It sounds just like the kind of clusterfuck my doctors office usually charges for.
I never remember my dreams, and what I do remember doesn't make sense. I had one that I always remember which had dinosaurs riding ferris wheels. My brain is a strange place
Hope you get better soon :)
I would interpret your dream to mean your life either has direction or you want it to have direction. Either way, you are / want to be going somewhere... literally or figuratively.
No sh*t, eh?
As for getting hold of your old boss, I know what you mean... you don't want to change jobs too quickly because you don't want to appear 'flaky' (haha!) but what's the point of staying in a situation that's not good for you if there's an alternative?
I know - I have more questions than answers for you.
Tell me to shut up.
I'm going now.
Feel better!
John - I hope you didn't transfer this to me, although it would be quite a feat! Yeah, I get along with the married ones most likely for 'safety', too. I'll start saving my $ for a trip to the Land of Switzer. Hugs to the wonder dog! (I didn't forget the email!)
Anduin - What is it about this germ thing lately? I'm glad you are feeling better. And we'll see about work... first I have to conquer this breathing thing.
Anne - I figured that was as good an explaination as any. =) And if the end result is Switzerland, it can't be too bad, right?
Bean - Lol... cigarettes or otherwise? I was smoking a little more (still not much, tho) with the stress of moving and the job and all but haven't touched a cigarette in a little over a week.
Chitty - We'll see soon how things clear up, at least partially. You know how it can be. Oh, and I never got the antibiotics because the doc's office screwed it up. I'm flying solo on this at the moment; wish me luck.
Kyknoord - I can live with that name. But is the problem that I'm trying to hold up the world or that you are afraid I might drop it on you? =)
Prisoner - Ah yes, the giant talking boot... I'm figuring you like the naked women dreams the best, right? =) The boot.... interesting.
Stacy - No, I only kept it at 68 for 2 days... right now it's on 64 and its 27 outside! Maybe your docs office and mine are somehow connected. Amazing what insurance premiums buy, eh?
Motor - Dinos on a ferris wheel!? Now THAT I'd like to see! I figure your dreams would be rather vivid, even if you don't remember them!
Terri - I'd reather think the dream means that I'm winning an all expense paid vacation to Switzerland... whatdya think?! =) You are right - I don't want to appear flaky (waaay too late for that) and jump into another similar situation. I suppose I just feel I have to check it out carefully. After I can breathe again.
I dreamt you won the Lotto and gave me $500 000 on your way to Switzerland. You were smiling and happy and your bronchitis had cleared up.
I agree - that's a much better interpretation. Do you get to take a friend...? ;-)
And yes, breathing can be helpful.
Good idea, Livewire. Get a beer, check blogs, and relax. Hope you feel better soon. :)
Martyrdom is earned by suffering. Happiness is earned by choice.
Hope things are going better. I've been reading your job-change stories and as I'm currently entertaining another job option, I'm sympathizing with you even more on all your new job woes!
Nomad - I'll go along with that dream of yours. So... how do you want your $500,000? =)
Terri - Yes, I can take a friend... but she must be a blonde South African living in Ireland. Know of anyone? =)
Jeff - Actually it was a good combination; thanks for the get well wishes.
Jason - I know - but I have such difficulty in applying that principle. Do they make Cliff Notes?
Banzai - If you listen to my job change stories you won't want to take the chance! =) Hey, if your change goes well, maybe I can come work with you???
Still poorly ? I did mail you back once I heard that previously but I'm guessing it was eaten by the large black hole that is "trusting email will arrive at it's destination". You still fancy a beer though so at least one major gauge of judgement is still firmly in the 'green' section.
As to the work thing it's hard to know what to say without having a good bead on how things have been around you since you joined. It may be that it was a thing that anybody would have been suspended for or something of a wider malaise there. I guess you'd know that more than us.
I guess I'm just saying (in my usual 'use more words than are needed' way) that all you can do is carry on wowing them with your charm and ability (delete as required) and making yourself a linchpin of the place.
If you take half the draw you still have on here and apply the same to your work then I'm amazed they've not named a wing after you.
That's a building wing, not an actual wing. That would be far too odd, even for you :o)
Your heating is crazy! YOu should just burn your bills for warmth. Come on, summer!
medically speakin I don advise U to keep the bronchitis going without antibiotix if the doc has prescribed them for you.
Hospitalization is a far more unpleasent situation with a greater risk...
I'll have mine as a bank transfer, bank guaranteed cheque or, if you must, in notes but they must be in the highest denomination possible as I don't have much space in my flat.
Are you better yet? Are you going to blog again?
Enjoy the weekend.
Carpy - Well, it looks like I'll make it, I'm no stranger to bronchitis so I'm hoping my body just knows what to do with it by now. This week has been really weird so I think I may have an email in here somewhere, I just have been working over and haven't touched any of them. Jerry's suspension was tainted by the immature hatred of others. There is proof of this. Either way, it is what it is. If I lack charm lately I have no problem resorting to strongarm tactics... =) Thanks for the compliment, but come to think of it, an 'actual' wing would be pretty cool!!!
Sappho - Interestingly, Superbowl Sunday was when it became highly evident that I was sick beyond just the sniffles. And I agree... yelling, laughing and coughing are a potentially harmful combination with bronchitis! I do hope you are feeling better! =)
Miss Jay - I love your idea... that should keep me nice and toasty for the rest of the season!
Dr O2 - I know, I know - I'm not a model patient. It's not that I didn't want to take them, it was that they won't prescribe anything I can remotely afford. It does seem to be getting better but is taking it's time. They never even took a temp to help determine whether it was bacterial or viral. Since I'm improving, I'm guessing viral. I am still keeping close tabs and know that if things start to get weird, I'll go to a different doc. Hey.... do you make house calls? =)
Nomad - Lol... I'll make sure it can fit in your flat; we'll come up with something. Just think, you'd have money stashed everywhere! And I am on my way to getting better, it just tends to take me a while. I'll definitely be blogging again, this week just didn't seem to want to cooperate with that plan. The weekend should give me a chance, tho. Have a great weekend... I'll get the money there as soon as possible. ;)
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