Eventually I caved and got a Facebook account this summer. I use it to get updates from musicians regarding cd release dates, concerts... I use it to get updates from stores, parks, businesses and local points of interest so that the information comes to me, I don't have to find it. Of course I play a couple of games now and then and comment on friends' walls as well as send the occasional message.
Now. My settings are minimal as far as who can see what. It's limited to friends and there are less than 50. In Facebook terms I might as well not even have a page because of that. Truth be told, that's too many for me. I have JUST allowed a pic of me (other than in Halloween garb) to be tagged with my name (consequently, only my first and middle names - not my last name, so no one can really search me). Everything appears to be blocked right where I want it to be blocked.
I just found that in two instances, a former friend (that doesn't really get the 'former' thing) has somehow been able to comment on comments I've made on a mutual friend's wall. Now. I am supposed to be invisible to him unless we are on a common page (think Pepsi or Volkswagen). All my settings hold. We know several of the same people. At this point I told our mutual friend that I will not be commenting on anything she says as I do not want this guy up my ass. If I did, he'd be one of my friends on Facebook. I've ignored his request.
Yes, it may seem like an overreaction, but it really isn't. If HE can see me, who else? I've made my life's work maintaining anonymity for safety reasons. It is now a habit I will most likely never break. There were people I had to hide from. Still people that I don't want finding me and for very good reason. Yet somehow this weasly little fucker can see me? If he sees my comments elsewhere and comments on them, I'll have no option but to delete all the people on my account and just keep the public pages.
If that doesn't work, I'll delete the whole account - it's not that big of a deal. Just a few adjustments I'd have to make. And this is precisely WHY I put off dealing with Facebook for so long. Nothing is private, even when it appears to be. There is always some glitch or override mechanism that will expose you.
This is why I like it here. It feels much safer. Why I thought I'd be ok with using a social networking site in the way it was intended is beyond me. Perhaps my pared down version will be better. I do not do well with my privacy being breached. Geez - look how long it took me to put up a pic on here! And it's dark at that.
One day I shall be a hermitess... With a blog. ;)
4 comments:
It has nothing to do with your settings, but that of your friends. Unfortunately, if you comment on their FB you are no longer invisable to the masses, and they have leeway to comment back. It's a bit annoying, I must say. I have my account as private as possible, but have still found myself tagged in pictures posted by other people - pics of me having the crap kicked out of me at school in one case. Not really what you need to see...
So FB sucks. Yet still I preserve my membership. I have recently culled about fifteen people I feel no need to have a connection with other than a vague curiosity.
GD - I remember us talking about those pics being posted. I know you can remove the tag, but the pic remains there. And they can retag it. Unfortunately these are a few people that are from work - one is a very good friend. But I'll have to delete her b/c of her settings, which is insane. If I don't, I'll be tempted to speak freely (go figure) and THIS weasly fucker that I refer to has been known to print things off facebook and take them to the boss, etc. It comes down to my privacy so I delete her or eventually go to jail for killing him.
There are very few people I 'need' on my facebook. I've gone through and dumped people in the past and will continue to do so. I turn into a raging bitch over things like this.
Then I guess NUD is a particularly fortuitous event:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qR-dL-4PoGI&feature=player_embedded
Kyknoord! Hey you!!! I unfriend those SOBs left and right. I'm a fickle friender, if you will. ;) And I like my privacy.
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