thistimeisntit? Imeanmydocactuallymadeithappen. SonowIcansitupall
nightponderingeverythingintheuniversebutitshouldbeokbecauseIhave youforcompanyandwecantalkallallallallallnight! Yayyyy! {insane clapping of hands}
I mean really, what suicide prevention tactic school did this guy attend?! Think about it. So you have a girl (I'm ageless...) with compulsions and the potential for obsessive behavior on a regular day that happens to swing her hips to the dance of bipolarity. Life sucks, things are grim and she has suicidal ideation (really a 180 for the girl, very out of character). Her meds are alright but still, something is wrong. Hey wait, I know!! Let's give her some antidepressants so it can boost her so far that she goes through the roof and turns manic. Fabulous. Now this way she won't just slam her car into a bridge overpass but she'll wash and hand wax it, decorate it with streamers, light some molatov cocktails, in gorgeous symmetry of course, and fasten them to her car so she really goes out with a bang! Of course prior to that she'll fasten a number of balloons on the giant concrete pillar in concentric circles by color with a prize chart listed according to which balloon the car smashes into - most likely she'd fashion a ramp out of spare parts from highway trash to boost her up to the red bullseye level from a nice, high speed. See...bad idea to make me manic with meds. And it will take longer to get the mania of my system. What in the hell was he thinking?
Anyway, so I'm done with the school. The director told me he wanted me to stay the extra week or two that I'd offered to train the new person. Well, there was not one word. He didn't tell the staff. He didn't so much as tell me to piss off. It was just as if the next day would be business as usual. So let me understand - I give notice on August 2, solidify my date of September 13 a week and a half later, then offer to stay another week or two and somehow manage to come out as the bad guy?! WHAT?! I don't feel good about it because I'm uncertain what will happen if I need them for a reference. On the other hand I'm glad I'm done with it. That has to be one of the strangest groups of people that ever lived.
So my life was a model.... for the movie Kill Me Later and I had no idea all along. You should see it - good dark comedy. Follow it up with Very Bad Things. Good times.
Here we have the latest nail art... contradictory words/images for a bipolar gal, fitting, eh? I do admit to adding the fake shiny gem thingys... Ok Ginger Doll - your turn! I'll even share my little skulls with you!
Ok, now stop staring at the crazy girl. ;)
~
11 comments:
Maybe it is really your doctor that needs some help?
How on earth do you manage to grow your nails so long. Or are they fake?
ah yeah, your nails scare the crap outta me. aren't they considered dangerous for a girl with suicidal thoughts?
haaaa I LOVE the nails!!
I wear that color sometimes... the spousal unit calls it granny polish (probably because my grandmother wore that color every day of her life) haaaa
she didn't wear the gems and cute kitty cat skull & cross bones though hehehe
ok I'm on my way over with padding for your walls and a locked box for all your shoe laces and whatnot - just kidding
seriously though if you're gonna be that up you might as well come here and detail my house!!
~ I joke to mask my concern
Well, we know sanity and good writing don't always go hand in hand (I know this very personally). You are such a good writer, LiVEwiRe. And..who knew? a creative nail artist, no less. I recall painting my nails that pearly pale color in junior high school--not my idea, the idea of my friend Marsha who was good at that sort of thing.
As to the center of your life--what can I say? I wish I had a magic wand. I wish I could send flocks of flamingos bearing chocolate your way--that would provide distraction anyway. Flamingos, however, are few in the woods here (now, I could send my bear, but he's rather destructive).
I do send loving thoughts.
Oh wow! I can't compete, despite my penchant for purple sparklies. I'm really loving them skulls and such like. Definately a reason not to paint a house!
Hope you're doing ok, my bees are drifting off for winter hibernation right now, so I'm going to find something else to watch to justify my laziness...people might just do!
The job situation sounds extremly familiar, what it should tell you is that you made the right decision to go. Take care, will catch up soon..xx
I have so much to catch up on. Sorry I've been away so long. Just wanted to drop by and let you know that I'm blogging again. Hope you'll drop by when you get a chance.
Meadow74 (aka Renee)
meadow74.blogspot.com
I can definitely identify with being torn between wanting to tell ppl to go to hell and knowing you may need them later for a reference. That's pretty much been the story of my adult life.
Sorry things are kinda trippy right now. I'm sending you a big hug!
I adore the skull...AND the Princess too! My nails are so short...but long enought to put "PQ" on them. hmm...now that's an idea!
Sorry to hear the docs are screwing up your meds. Any chance you could switch doctors?
How bizarre is this... most of your comments didn't show up in my email. I'll forgive blogger/yahoo this time but if it happens again, they get 'the nailz'!
Fence - My doc has many problems - like he is obsessed with the Bee Gees. Pics all over his office of him with the brothers Gibb, paintings, and the endless number of ringtones on his cell. Youknow, perhaps I should reevaluate this. As for the nails - they are real. I almost wonder if it isn't the iron I take, seriously, because I've only grown them this long one other time in my life.
Kate - Bwahahaha! I never thought of me having destructive devices right on my own little hands! =) They are much less scary in person when you can witness me poking my eye when I try to push up my glasses; comical actually!
Kitty - Thought you might like the skulls, too! So I have old lady nails to boot - fabulous! I always liked that frosty white color but after a few days it gets yellowy. Not so attractive to have jaundiced skulls. Oddly, my skull shoes are lace-free so those may be a safe bet. The mania is dying down but if it resurfaces I'll definitely swing by and redo your house. And your neighbors. And paint the speakers at the drive in, and....
Jarvenpa - I was going to suggest that if you were seeing flamingos in the woods perhaps I should send you my meds... ;) Flamingos bearing gifts of chocolate sounds divine even if they don't have nails for me to paint. I think this pearly shade has been around for eons as everyone seems to have had it one point or another, which I really like. Just a little memory that so many share, significant or not. I think I realized there was no link between sanity and writing when I was introduced to Oscar Wilde. Not personally, but you know. Writing gets the cooties out of ones head, no? Now bear... I could really paint bear's nails, although he may not be agreeable.
Ginger Doll - I like purple very much so I'd have to say you must do anything possible to protect it. I bought a new black and I hope it's a thick, shiny, lacquer like my last one. Which happened to be in a little black cat shaped bottle, cool. I think I've caught a bit of your laziness and I must say, you are definitely on to something here. I enjoyed it and felt like I need explain to no one. Thanks on the support with the job, it's been tough for many reasons but I'm doing better with it than I thought I would. Perhaps because I know I made the best decision.
Meadow74 - How are you?! I tried your other sites over time and couldn't find you so it's great to see you back and have the chance to catch up. I think in this instance I'll secretly think of telling them to go to hell without saying it because I'm pretty sure they could read it in my eyes many times! Always a challenge, innit?
Stacy - You could have 'PQ' on some and little crowns on the other ones. Every Queen has to have her crown, right? That would be so cute! My doc is pretty goofy (see comment to Fence) but he's actually pretty cool in the respect that he doesn't try to overmedicate me and I like that. It just so happens that when you are bipolar yiu don't know how quickly you might overreact to a med. Not that it's any worse than anyone overreacting to a med just that it swings you much further a whole lot faster.
Forgot to mention...all the best people are ageless! I'm definately heading for that category...
Ginger Doll - Ageless always keeps em guessing. Besides, it keeps your options open!
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