It's been a really crazy 36 hours or so. And that is by MY warped standards of 'crazy'. I'm just going to throw some shit out there then go change my picture. And maybe my email address. Sometimes things are just 12 ways to fucked all around you and there's really nothing you can do but say, 'uh, yep.' and move the fuck on.
Ok, I've been sick (URI) but went to the hockey game with D last night anyway. We met at a neutral place, I drove (gotta have some kind of control), enjoyed seeing my team get a win and spent some time with his arm around me. I really didn't care one way or the other but it was ok. I mean, it didn't freak me out. In truth, I think I knew that was because I was sick and he already was joking that he wasn't about to kiss me. Perfectly fine, dude. Really. Again, it's me, not him. But without feeling any pressure, it was much easier to spend time with him. Moral of the story: I like you much more if you basically leave me the fuck alone.
Moving right along. Now, this is where things begin to unravel. Two family members went out of state to visit my uncle who just had surgery. I didn't go because the LAST thing I needed to do was get him sick. As it turns out, he had a partial amputation and for two days, I believe, he was on nothing stronger than Tylenol and totally wracked with pain to the point of being non-communicative and immobile. WTF. Here, let me cut off part of your fucking body, bone, muscle, tendon, and give you some fucking Tylenol. With luck they threw in a bandaid for free. My family questioned but when they got home and told me, I called and crawled up a few asses, dropping some magic words like 'ombudsman' and 'HCAHPS' and several other gems. I WORK in medical and pharmacy; I KNOW what I am doing. By the time all was said and done they put him on a much more appropriate med and he seems to be somewhat better today.
Backing up to last night, his daughter called me. Now, I haven't talked to her in a couple of years maybe, but it's because of some crazy family shit that is going on between that immediate part of the family. She talked, I listened, something wasn't right. This was a close knit family and it just all started unraveling. And then it was like a snowball rolling downhill.
Fast forward to today, my mom and I started comparing what we'd heard (from the family members we spoke with) and it's nuts. Full on nuts. Brother stealing from another brother, goes after the one who stole (to shoot him) and his wife takes the bullet. Inappropriate behavior toward young women (nieces), trying to hook up with other women, including an in-law, spousal abuse, other abuse... oh, it just kept going. This doesn't even include the death threats and 'chasing with a rifle' scene between father and son because the son is gay. Or the fact that one child and their spouse have had paperwork drawn up and served to three other siblings to keep them off their father's property. The father has no idea this is going on and think his kids have abandoned him. All the while, they can't get to him. He's homebound as he's suffered a couple of strokes and is left to his own devices other than for a brief daily visit or two from the ones that drew up the papers.
Look, I don't care what kind of shit happened 5 or 10 or even 30 years ago. That's some shady goings on but if it happened, it happened. What I see is a family that tried to pretend it didn't and now they are falling apart and turning on one another. It's like the Brady Bunch just became the Manson Family. It's ugly. I'm not sure how I'm supposed to look at these people and see them the same way. I suppose I won't. But it really doesn't matter what I think, does it?
Where do you draw the line and say 'that was then, this is now'. Not that I think that time heals everything because I'm living proof that it sure as fuck doesn't, but if no one ever addressed these issues and they are just now coming back to haunt everyone, isn't everyone there the victim of their own lack of involvement in acknowledging all these things that happened along the way? Now they all hate each other because it's easier to do that than to call a spade a spade and say they turned a blind eye all their lives. To blame one another, in some way, keeps the focus on someone else's role, not on your own. In the end, everyone is suffering though. Humans are most certainly flawed, are we not?
To add to it all, today is my half-sister's birthday and I sent her a message as well as a text, no answer to either. Last I knew she was off her meds for bipolar, lost her job, was living in someone's garage and back on street drugs. Great. On the bright side, I didn't see her name in the obits.
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