Granted, it has merits. Keeping in touch with those that live far away is one. Having info from all of my 'likes' come directly to me... another great feature. Saves so much time and for someone that can be as forgetful as I am, it has served as a welcome reminder for events like sports events and concerts.
But I am quickly becoming the bitch that doesn't accept friend requests. No, let me rephrase that... I'm the bitch that doesn't accept (most) friend requests and doesn't feel the need to give you some fancy explanation as to why. I am entirely too private and way too much of a control freak to want coworkers and people I went to high school with swinging by to watch the freak show. Truly, in 99.2% of cases, I don't give two shits what your three year old just did in Facebookland. And if you really felt the need to stay in touch with me, you'd have sent me a message with the request... not just 'BAM' ~ a friend request after not speaking for 20 years! I can't fault people for not being able to keep track of me. I move alot. And I let people drift out of my life routinely; it's just what I know. I do not maintain relationships well. So for that, I cannot fault them, but for shits sake... you can't send a little message, no matter how corny it may sound? Truth be told, I didn't like you that much back when I was nice so I'm pretty sure I won't feel too differently now.
Speaking of moving. I think I will be moving within a year. The new position I took at work (did I mention I took a job as a chemo pharmacy tech?) is a combination between a joke and a set up to fail. We are basically waiting to be shut down based on lack of profit vs expenditure, not being encouraged to stay open because we perform a valuable service in the community. It's like a pack of wolves with tongues lolling out to the side, waiting for the big financial FAIL. Chemo is a costly service but even life and death situations, $ and profit come before people. I don't know if I could go back into the main pharmacy without the toll being too great. It is really bad there right now and the one shift I work down there every week is such a push/pull. It's like being in an abusive relationship... it's not healthy yet I know what to do and I know my role. When I'm down there, every single person looks to me to fix everything. Guess I'm an enabler... but still, I do a kick ass job. Just a double edged sword of sorts.
I think what I'm trying to say is that, without realizing it, I took this new job as a transitional position to get me out of my unhealthy relationship with my job as Chief Ass wiper in the main pharmacy. Had I left directly, I'd have literally been guilt-ridden. Meh, proof that I at least still have feelings of some sort. I don't see this lasting long. And I'm suprisingly ok with that since I've severed the main tie.
So this coming weekend I'm going to Pittsburgh to see The Clarks on their annual Gateway Clipper concert cruise! I haven't seen them since I was 19 years old. That's a damn long time my friend! Taking a friend of mine for her birthday ~ she needs a quick getaway, too. Of course this will start the tears (I've warned my friend) and all the crying about wanting to move back there. No big deal though... for those of you that have followed throughout the years, you know this is a constant in my life. Anyway, I'm totally THRILLED to be there, cruising the river at night with The Clarks playing. There's always time for a breakdown later. ;)
Health has been all over the board and we've made no real progress. It's not getting worse in any way that we can pinpoint, which I consider progress, but after 4.5 months, I kind of wished that I'd be back to my norm ~ which obviously wasn't very normal, but in retrospect...
The next two months will be insanely busy so I'm hoping that I can get on here more now ~ I need this like I need a good book. Or good music. And I really miss checking in on everyone. See, here's it's not creepy... on FB, that's creepy. Anyway... I'm off to bed.
3 comments:
nice to hear from you .. I collected too many Fakebook friends that I never really liked that much, but during the hypomanics I think I should stay in touch with everyone. When I'm spiraling, I delete all my friends and find out really cares when they add me again. Zero since the last house-cleaning 3 months ago ... and I now I don't care, haven't posted in months.
you found a book yet? Do you like doorsteps about Victorian prostitutes and their rich lovers and mad wives? Try The Crimson Petal and the White! I'm rather loving it.
Anyhow, good to hear from you, things still sound a bit mixed up. GD x
FishRobber - You know, strange thing...I was going through my 400+ emails (I'm not that important, just never seem to get through them all) and I just found one from you! I am SO sorry! I mean that I didn't respond ~ but I will! Yeah, I delete people because basically I just am not a huge fan of humans in general. Or more specifically, ones in 'my' space. I delete without warning often and then if I get a request back, I ignore it. Most of them are just nosey work people. I don't need that. I'm more comfortable with the 'strangers' from my hockey pages and such. I fully support your delete modes!!!
GD - I will have to check into that - I recall you mentioning that, on your blog I think. The past two weeks have been so crazy busy ~ just one of those times in life. The coming week should be hell too - just non-stop and double shifts, etc. One more week... that's what I'm telling myself. Then back to normal. And it's a bit scary that MY normal (which is usually anything BUT) is looking good! xoxo
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