My nails have grown long again and look quite nice. But I can't make a proper fist or blow my nose without fear.
The dynamic of a family changes when one member has end-stage cancer. It is awkward but it would be disrespectful to pretend you didn't notice. That insults the severity of the situation.
For as far as we have come, the politics of racism still touch our lives.
There are some people you know will remember things about you. There are those people you expect will forget things. It kind of shakes you up when they switch roles.
Birthdays can make you feel all sorts of things. Like an exaggerated 'headache' that keeps you at home because you just want to save someone money who can't afford to take you to dinner.
Books are amazing things. They may be the closest I come to 'doing everything' in my lifetime.
The word blessed grates on my nerves. Saying you were 'so blessed to get that parking space' while raising your hand to the heavens is overkill. You were lucky. Period. Being blessed has it's place and time but people can't distunguish. And it most likely involves more than a parking space.
Cutting your own hair is pretty much never a good idea.
Sometimes all the knowledge you have access to still isn't nearly enough.
Most days, kitties are a cure-all. Or in this case, kiddies.
10 comments:
that kiddie has a freakingly human expression.
and i wrestle with those parts of me i don't know every damn day. like it's karma or something.
i hope you're doing well.
I'm curious as to why you cannot blow your nose without fear.
I can't either, but this is due to allergies making me bleed more than most!
And I used to cut my own fringe (bangs?) not a good thing.
As to the wrong man (prev post), I'm currently having a phase of dreaming of the men I left behind who made an impression on me but were unobtainable. Usually married, and I refused to touch them even though I wanted them. Most recently have been gay, and this screws my head. Even my husband dabbled in his 'gay' side, hence my gayday is broken comment!
Take care - LJ
PS you mention books. What are you reading? I'm reading Stef Penney's The Tenderness of Wolves and suprised by how much I love it.
There is so much tenderness in what you write, all the time. I'm not making any comments whatsoever about the wee little goatee.
:)
this is the best post i've read in a while.
illyria - Wrestling with that part of ourselves can sometimes take it's toll, but we keep at it. My best to you!
Escapee - Ah yes, the nose thing. Well, I have wretched aim, one false move and I could end up stabbing my brain. Or something close. I used to go through the bleeding thing til I had my nose cauterized when I was young. Well worth it. Your dreams sound like they are perhaps trying to help put things in perspective for you. Dreams help us sort what we already know but for a different perspective so it seems to teach us something. I definitely hope it brings some clairty for you. =)
Oh, the book I most recently completed was called Virgins of Paradise by Barbara Wood. Someone thought I'd like it and handed it to me. It chronicles the details of the culture and role of women in Cairo pre-WWII to present day. There is so much info and details beyond belief. Not what I'd normally go for but I'm glad I read it. Currently I'm reading the Planet Earth book that was from a series on the Discovery Channel. Stunning photos and eco info galore. I just might have to look into the book by Stef Penney that you mentioned next.
JHS - Don't you just wanna squeeze that little guy? Hmmm, tenderness? Part of me thought I lost that ability when the last Bush administration went out; the rest of me thinks that it increases two fold on a daily basis and therefore I feel too much. But perhaps, there is more of a middleground than I though. Thanks. ;)
Kate - Aw, thanks... but I know it's the little goat that swayed your opinion! ;)
I SO agree with what you said about books. My passport may not have any stamps in it...but from reading books, I've been all over the globe. :)
No kidding.
Sorry ;) can't help myself.
So I'm back and catching up. Sounds like you had a good trip and I loved the pics - would I be wrong to say I can picture you living in Durham?
As for the man thing well been there, done that - you pretty much said it all. I reckon when you're ready you'll open up to possibilities without even realising there's been a change.
And finally, thanks for the haircut advice; I'll hide my scissors and make an appointment at a salon tomorrow.
ah yes, a good post indeed.
ahem, I cut my own hair.
once a hair stylist asked if perhaps I did.
why yes, I preened.
Yep, looks kind of like you let the hamsters loose, said she, and gave me her card.
But do I care? No. I am setting a fashion trend for 30 years hence, sure I am.
Stacy - In some ways, that's actually better. In your head you can get everyone to cooperate AND it's much cheaper! ;)
Terri - Isn't he the cutest? Glad to see you're back. I think I'd like to be in Durham so we'll see where that takes us. (After all, you guys move with me!) I've cut my own hair so I can't preach too much.
Jarvenpa - My guess is that you have more skill (or a steadier hand) than you give yourself credit for OR it adds to some 'devil may care', free-spirited attitude. You could start a major trend, you know?!
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