As promised, I'm back, but not for long. Just to say this up front, my internet service will most likely be cut off on Friday and I have no idea when it will be back on. Might be two weeks, might be two months. Until then I'll try to check email and do an occasional post from the library IF I can remember my Blogger passwords. Either way, I'm sure I'll get a post in before my service gets shut off. Things have been nuts here and I really haven't been able to do much in the way of reading your posts and even less in the way of commenting.
So, about the dilemma and disappointment. The disappointment is still there although it's a tiny bit better. There's still this heavy, hollow feeling I'm experiencing and I have to say, I really don't like it. As for the dilemma, it sort of got worse, but then today, something else happened to turn things in another direction. I'm being pulled in different directions and originally, it was devastating, now it's just 'different' due to the most recent changes. What it all comes down to is that my last day of work is Friday, I'm moving this weekend, and I still have no idea which place I'm working for. It could still be both, but most likely I'll have to choose. Each one offers something that the other doesn't.
Leaving Pittsburgh is proving to be emotionally draining. It's sort of like a triple whammy. I'm saying goodbye for now, and that kind of triggers memories from the last time I left, and that sets off the chain of events that reminds me of leaving when I was young. I won't lie, I've been a crying, sobbing fool. But I do know that even though this is difficult, I'm doing it for all the right reasons. Even so, it's akin to giving up a security blanket. There's not a damn thing I can do to make the emotions stop but I'm ok with that. It's all part of the process of letting go.
On the brighter side, I went to the National Aviary with a friend on Sunday and enjoyed it immensely. It's been more than 16 years since my last visit and I got to reconnect with some old feathered friends. Oh yeah, and one special one 'connected' with me in one of the free flight rooms. Hey, some people say that's good luck - I just thought it was a bit messy. Meh, at least it wasn't some huge Condor or something. I'd post bird pics but Blogger won't let me. Again. I think my favorite there is the Tawny Frogmouth. They are completely odd looking yet adorable at the same time and their camoflage is amazing; they blend right in with the tree. My other sweetie is the African Grey. That is just one gorgeous bird, and probably smarter (videos!) than alot of humans I know. Of course knowing their lifespan, I'm convinced the AG I saw Sunday was the same one I used to spend time with over 16 years ago. So of course, that made me cry more. Eh, what can I say.
There you have it. The little update that could. Anyway, go check out those videos of Oliver!
12 comments:
Things seem to be looking marginally up, that's good to know.
Let us know how everything goes, will you!
moving sucks!! I hope this one goes as smooth as possible!! =)
with my fear of birds I would have to totally avoid the free flight rooms!!
I think those tawny frogmouths are the cutest things I've ever seen in my whole entire life!! hehehe
Change can be tough. And I completely understand about the Internet thing. I just went through that myself.
Good for you for facing your inner challenges and moving yourself in the right direction.
Good luck! We'll be waiting for you to come back on.
The Tawny Frogmouth looks slightly rumpled and cross--much the way I often feel in the morning. Know that I will be checking to see when you are able to post again...and meanwhile thinking of you, and sending you good energy. (Can't hurt, right?)
This is one I've been grappling with: if you expect disappointment and your expectations are fulfilled, what does that mean?
It kinda makes you glad cows don't fly ;-)
Good luck with the move, and we'll be here when you get back whenever that may be.
xx
good luck. . .for everything :)
hang in there..tomorrow is another day.
good luck;)
Have a blast!
just stopping by to say hi.
:)
Glad you're still having some good times before you go.
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